SPEAKER_01 0:00

That I was really struggling to leave a legacy. This idea of dying and having no record of me being here, almost as if it had never happened, terrified me. But I didn't really know that's what was happening earlier in life. It's only now, kind of looking back, you know, the whole hindsight of 2020, that I go, hmm, I think a lot of that had to do with wanting to leave my mark.

SPEAKER_00 0:28

That is a snippet of our podcast today. Hey there, Mauri Cherna here, founder of the MindSight Academy, neurocoach to executives, leaders, entrepreneurs, and a neuroleadership trainer using insights from neuroscience to help you deliver results by learning to work smarter, be in control of your brain, manage yours and others' emotions, change behaviors, flourish and exceed expectations. Welcome back to another episode of Lead to Excel Podcast. I am so thrilled to be with you today because we have a special guest. But before we get into that, remember to subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen to it. Because it will help other people find it and give them the opportunity to understand how they can rewire their own brain to enable them to achieve their goals. So without wasting any more time, grab your cup of coffee or your drink or whatever that might be, put your feet up and listen in. I am excited to be back with another guest this week, and I've got a really interesting lady, and you will understand why I say this in a few minutes while we discuss her book and make a note of that because we are going to discuss that in a second. But Karen Freeland, it's so good to have you on Lead to Excel podcast. Thank you so much for coming on.

SPEAKER_01 1:59

Oh, thank you, Maureen. It's awesome to be here.

SPEAKER_00 2:02

Right, Karen, I'm just going to read out your bio quickly because I think I need to do this for it to give context to our conversation. So Karen Freeland is a recovered corporate workaholic and award-winning author of The Ins and Outs of My Vagina, a penetrating memoir. Take that in for a second because we are going to come back to that. So Karen is also a motivational speaker and certified life reinvention coach, focused on helping women transform their lives. Through her signature program, she teaches women how they can achieve career success without sacrificing their health, family, and well-being. This is so dear to me. Karen Freeland is married and resides in Greenville, South Carolina with her two boys and dog Kobe. So, Karen, thank you once again for being here.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

Yeah, I'm excited to help inspire some women to change their lives, hopefully.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

Awesome. No, you really are going to. So let's get right into this. Karen, how did you start? Because your bio says that you are a recovered corporate workaholic. And I'm sure a lot of women and even men that are listening to us here will identify with this. Tell us what was what was this like? You know, how long did you work in corporate? And how did you get to the point at which you were literally a workaholic?

SPEAKER_01 3:42

Yeah. So I was in corporate for 15 years, and I don't think anyone ever wakes up and says, I'm going to be a workaholic, right? It's just sort of happens based on the culture, based on your own personality. You know, I'm very type A. So you give me a goal, I'm going to hit it or exceed it. Like I've always been a fan of that external validation. You know, even back in the day when I used to dance, like I always wanted to be the best dancer in the class, in the room. I always wanted my teacher to be like, hey, Karen, those jumps were awesome, or that was a great grandbama. And like I wanted to be recognized for my performance. And so I started my career in sales. I mean, talk about validation, right? You just go out, hit your number, make that money. And it's like, oh, well, the harder I work, the more calls I make, the more doctors I see when I was in pharmaceutical sales, you know, the more money I'm gonna make. So my energy was always directly tied to my compensation. But I never changed that mentality when I moved into a desk job. So I eventually went into telecom. I spent nine years at Verizon. I was in training and then I did some operations roles, marketing, chief of staff. And by that point, I was salaried. I mean, yeah, I had a little bit of a bonus, but for the most part, the extra energy and effort that I was putting into my work really wasn't netting me any additional profit like it would in sales. And I just, it was part of the culture. Everybody else was doing it. Everybody else was bragging about how they worked until 2 a.m. or slept in the office. And I was thinking, like, is this what I'm supposed to do? Is this how you become successful? Is just giving up your life and working 24-7. Okay, I guess that's what I have to do because that's what everyone else is doing.

SPEAKER_00 5:43

Interesting. I like you know how you went through the journey. And you're so right. Nobody actually sets out to be a workaholic. It literally creeps on up creeps up on you. But you touched on a few things which I want us to dig a bit deeper into. And I'm going to kind of go back even before you got into corporate work. So you did talk about external validation, and you said that when you were a dancer, so can you talk us through in terms of you know your younger years or even before you became a dancer, what led you to become a dancer? Because I know speaking to you, you've done quite a few things in the past. You were an actress at one point. So can you just take us back a bit into um early life of Karen? What was that like?

SPEAKER_01 6:33

Oh, yeah. I mean, before I even knew that you could take a dance class, I grew up listening to music and dancing. That was my form of self-expression. So my dad was always listening to music, which meant it was on in the house, which meant I was dancing everywhere. Um, you know, we watched the sound of music and I would recreate the dances or the A White Christmas. And I, my sister and I would stand on the fireplace and we would dance together to the sisters song, you know. It was just always ingrained in me, a part of my personality. And I found out that a friend was taking a dance class and I was like, ooh, I want to do that. And then I found out you could compete and you could go to dance competitions. I was like, ooh, I want to do that. I want to win trophies. And it just kind of spiraled from there. And I went to college for dance, actually. Um, and then after school, when I graduated with my dance degree, I went to Florida, went to Miami and I lived there for a few years. And I thought, you know, I'm gonna try this acting thing. And I got called to the movie from Justin to Kelly. If anyone knows Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini, they were the first people on American Idol, which is the singing show. And they did a movie. I got called actually to be a dancer on set, didn't make the cut. They ended up bringing up their whole crew from LA. And I did get called back to be an extra, just by happenstance, managed to score an under five. So I got a couple of lines. I had a scene. Unfortunately, it ended up on the cutting room floor most of it, but I still got my SAG card and I was just bit by the acting bug at that moment. I was like, this is it. I can do this. This is what I want to do. And I did for several years, but you know, then the starving artist thing, it was a hard life, you know? You're living paycheck to paycheck.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

So tell us a bit about that. So, in terms of acting, because I know, and I'm I'm kind of going here in look still looking at that validation aspect as well. So, when you were acting, how did that play out? And was was the bug for acting in and you know in the validation as well? I'm trying to understand, yeah. Do you see where I'm coming from? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:34

Well, it was that, and also I think, you know, if I'm really honest, and this isn't something that I've learned until later, I didn't know it at the time. Um, but I'm sure we'll talk about my midlife crisis. That's when some of this became more apparent to me, that I was really struggling to leave a legacy. This idea of dying and having no record of me being here, almost as if it had never happened, terrified me. But I didn't really know that's what was happening earlier in life. It's only now, kind of looking back, you know, the whole hindsight is 2020, that I go, hmm, I think a lot of that had to do with wanting to leave my mark.

unknown 10:16

Right.

SPEAKER_01 10:17

Like, think about the fame song, fame, I'm gonna live forever. That's exactly what people are typically chasing with that. Um, so yeah, I think acting was the same thing. Like I loved being in the spotlight, being the center of attention, being on stage. For me, it just I fed off of that energy very much. So yeah, I don't, I don't know maybe the deeper why of that, other than I just think there was some level of wanting to leave that legacy.

SPEAKER_00 10:45

Yeah, interesting. And you see, I I'm just kind of thinking quite deeply, and while I'm listening to you, and I can see a kind of a thread in terms of okay, the dancing, the acting, and the book as well, because the book is really brave and bold, and you know, it's it's it's almost like in the inner part of Karen. And before I get to why you wrote it and what led to that. So after acting, you know, when you decided that okay, I can't keep chasing this paycheck and acting deals, what when and what then what was the next step for you?

SPEAKER_01 11:29

Yeah, it was going into corporate. So I was only supposed to go for a year and then I was gonna quit, live off my savings and not wait tables anymore. And I was gonna act full time. But as luck would have it, I was really good at sales, got addicted to that money drug, and just could not walk away from the money. You know, I was like, well, what am I gonna do? Go make $75 at all my children today, or stay here, make some calls and, you know, be making $70,000, $80,000 a year, which at the time, you know, living in New York City with a company car, like I was living the life, you know, living the dream, buying the Gucci purses and the Fendi watches. And I was like, oh, I like this. This is nice, never had these things before. But it was empty.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

Yeah, but Kara, there's something interesting here. And you know, we're this we're recording this in December of 2022, and this is the time that lots of people are thinking of their lives, of changes that they want to make. And I've noticed that you seem to kind of pivot quite quickly. I don't know if it's quickly, but you've kind of done it through your your life or career. So, how did you make that change or jump from being an actress to getting into sales? How was that and why sales?

SPEAKER_01 12:47

Yeah, so I don't know why sales, to be honest. I just got lucky. A recruiter found my web, my resume on you know, monster.com back in the day. And I remember calling my dad laughing. I was like, a company wants to hire me to sell blackberries. I don't even know what a blackberry is. This was like when they were first coming out.

SPEAKER_00 13:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:10

I mean, this is where, yeah, I'm dating myself now. And I laughed and laughed and laughed. And my dad was like, Oh my gosh, good luck. We're all deal. Here she comes. But for me, it was a lot like acting. I mean, selling, you just kind of have to be on. You're on stage. You put this character on, and you know, I had to go bang doors, and it was the rejection was like next level. So you almost had to take yourself out of the situation and be like a performer or a character to deal with the level of rejection, you know, but it was really hard being in corporate because it was like a square peg and around hole, you know. Like I here I was a dancer, an actress, basically dictating my own schedule every day, doing things that were fun, that lit my soul up. And for a while I could trick myself that, like, oh no, you're having impact in the world, you know. Oh, I'm a pharmaceutical sales rep. I'm saving people with Alzheimer's disease. And then you would see these doctors, and they'd be like, Well, they're gonna decline anyway. I'm not gonna put the financial burden on their family. And I'm like, what? What do you mean you're not gonna like at least tell them about the option of this drug? I would want to know. And I just thought, oh my gosh, I thought I was gonna change the world. And what impact am I really having? And it just was like position after position, I kept tricking myself. Well, now I'm making more money. So look at this great life I can live. But really, I'm working 24-7 at the high point of my career. I was diagnosed with silent acid reflux because I was so stressed at night that I my stomach was churning and all the acid was coming up into my throat. So I couldn't even start.

SPEAKER_00 14:58

Sorry, was this when you were stealing sales before?

SPEAKER_01 15:01

This was later when I was in marketing. And it just kept progressing. Like, you know, I needed a grinder, like a something to protect my teeth because I was grinding so much at night. And it was like, what happened to the fun, exciting Karen? Where did she go? Is she still in there? Is she dead? Is this just life? Like I just have to suck it up and live like an adult, you know, and and that's what I thought I had to do for many years.

SPEAKER_00 15:32

Yeah, Karen. No, thanks for sharing that. And there's something you said that I just want to touch upon. You know, when you were in sales, that whole aspect of rejection, and you said you brought in the fact that you were acting, so it's almost like removing yourself. And I honestly think that actually that is a good way to start in you know, putting yourself out there by almost in a way removing yourself, but doing it, and then with time, you then become used to it. And I, you know, I suppose you've been in acting helped, but you know, I as you're saying it, I'm going actually that is something that I could use with my clients actually help them through rejection. So that's a good one. I love that. So after um after sales, you then moved into marketing, and this was where you got to a point that you felt, who am I? What am I doing? Can you just talk us through that? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:34

Yeah, a little bit. So actually, I pivoted first into training, and training was very much like being on stage, right? Because I was in at the head of the class and I got to act all day basically. And then the travel was just too much because I had my first son. So I moved into an operations role. And so, I mean, you talk about pivoting, and I really was pivoting into a new role every two or so years, and they were always new. Like I didn't even know what operations was. You know, when I started an operations role, I was like, what does operations even mean? I don't even compute, you know?

SPEAKER_00 17:07

But you were you're doing it. You you you took it on, and then you started to figure it out. That is amazing though. That yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:16

Well, it really speaks to everyone who's listening. Like, if there's something you want to go do that you think you can't do that you've never done before, uh, I guarantee you can do it. Because if I can do it, I don't have superhuman powers. I'm not special, you know, I'm just a normal person who's changes on a dime. Like, if I can do it, you can do it. Um, but the interesting thing is, even though I was pivoting in corporate, I felt very stuck. So 2019, I'm in a marketing role. I've since left telecom. I've gone over to um energy at this point because I really felt like something has to change. You know, I was in this telecom world, it was a very toxic workplace, the 24-7 working environment and carrots kept being moved. I'm sure some of you listening have had that happen, right? Where you're kind of told, hey, take this role and this will be your reward.

SPEAKER_00 18:06

And then what level did you get into or get up to in this, in this role?

SPEAKER_01 18:12

Yeah, so I was chief of staff for the president of the enterprise division at Verizon uh in my last role. And they, and basically that's what happened. The carrot moved. They said, if you go take this chief of staff role, we're pretty sure you're gonna get director. Everyone else before you has gotten director, why wouldn't you? Well, being the first female, I mean, I don't know if it was a woman thing. I hate to think that it could have been. Who knows? But I came out and uh that director role, poof, wasn't available for me. So I had to go back into the business as a senior manager, which was like basically putting your tail between your legs and like, here we go. Um, and I felt a lot of shame for the other women because I felt like a lot of women were looking at me, going, Oh my gosh, there's finally a female chief of staff. Like, this is amazing. There's opportunities for us. And then for them to all watch me just get plugged back into basically where I came out of was really hard. And I received a lot of comments. And I think I probably wore that burden more than I needed to. Um, so I knew something had to change. I wasn't happy in the new role that I was given. And finally I just said, forget it. I'm gonna go to another company because maybe it's the company. It was not the company. It was Karen doesn't belong in corporate, but I had to change and figure that out. So I went to an energy company for three years. And while I was there, we had two deaths in the family 2019, within four months of each other. And that sent me into an all-out midlife crisis, panic. It was the end of a general family members. They it was the end of a generation. So my great aunt and my great uncle both lived full lives, you know. I mean, in their 90s, eight, eight, late eighties, early nineties. But it I became acutely aware suddenly of my mortality. Next up is my parents, and then guess who's on deck? Oh shit. I hope I can say that allowed.

SPEAKER_00 20:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:14

Oh, and it was too real. And I started waking up with nightly panic attacks. And I couldn't, I couldn't function. Like I would just cry all night long when I would wake up, and it was becoming to the point where it's like debilitating.

SPEAKER_00 20:29

And I thought what were you thinking about at that time? You know, you know, like you said, you wake up at night crying. What was it that was going through your mind at the time? Yeah, I am wasting my life.

SPEAKER_01 20:41

What am I doing? What was I put here for? Like, did God seriously create me so that I could sit in conference calls all day and make PowerPoints to justify my existence to other people? I cannot fathom that that is my purpose and that that is why I was put here. Like, that sounds like a cruel joke to me, you know? Yeah, yeah. And I couldn't figure out my purpose. And my husband, on the other hand, who could not have been more content in his life, would roll off this gorgeous personal mission and life purpose about how he was going to raise our boys to be amazing members of society. And and I'm like, I don't have a mission. I'm literally just floating in the air, going whichever way the wind blows me. I have nothing to ground myself to. I don't know why I'm here. I don't know what I'm doing. And just being a mom for me was not enough to fulfill my soul. Something was missing.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

Wow, Karen, that is amazing, though, for you to even realize that because so many people go through life without actually asking those questions. And you at the point you were asking, you what who am I? What is my purpose? That is powerful. So what happened after that? So you've gone through, you know, the reality check was so real. Then what happened?

SPEAKER_01 22:11

Yeah, I really went on a self-discovery journey. I mean, I made a decision one night and I said, I am not doing this anymore, Karen. You are not going to come in this bathroom and cry for an hour about dying. You cannot stop it, you cannot prevent it. It is going to happen to you. But what can you do when you're awake? What can you do to change your life now and get out of the situation that is making you so miserable? And I had to start, and I didn't know at the time that it was called rewiring your brain. I learned that later through my life coaching certification. But I basically would walk into the bathroom at night at to, you know, to use the bathroom or whatever, and I would rewire my brain. So the second my brain would start to go, Karen, you're gonna die, I'd be like, okay, uh, we should paint this room. Oh, you know what? My nails look super chipped. Gosh, I am really tired. I can't wait to go back to sleep. I mean, literally any, I would popcorn thoughts in my brain, even if it wasn't true, even if my nails were perfectly painted, I would just make something up. And slowly over time, I would go to the bathroom, like I'd go a minute before the thought popped in. Then I would go a couple of days without the thought popping in. And now it's months, years without that thought popping into my head, because I cut that synapse, you know, that was firing every night. Yeah, yeah. That I started to really kind of almost like wallow in and allow myself to go there. And I said, no, we're not doing this anymore. So that was like just kind of a tactical way, but I started really exploring. I watched The Secret, the movie The Secret, all about law of attraction. And I thought, gosh, is it really that easy? Can I really just start thinking positive thoughts and taking action in a specific direction? Like, I'll try it. At this point, I am so desperate. I'm like, I will literally try anything.

SPEAKER_00 24:04

So by this time, you went this time you hadn't started working with a coach yet.

SPEAKER_01 24:09

No, no, this was all just of my own volition and you know, just and I was asking a lot of other people at this point, what do you think I'd be good at? What do you think I should do? And it became really clear to me because everybody would say, Well, why don't you do this kind of marketing? Or why don't you it was all in the same vein, just maybe at a different company or something. And I'm thinking, ah, you're not thinking big enough. I need different, I need creative. And while I was watching The Secret, Jack Canfield was talking about chicken soup for the soul. And like I literally had like a bolt of lightning or a shift, like something physically happened in my brain where I remembered that 10 years earlier, in 2009, while I was on maternity leave with my first son, that I had started writing a memoir. And I was like, that's it. I need to finish what I started. I need to finish that book. And that's what I did. And that became eventually the award-winning book, The Ins and Outs of My Vagina, Penetrating Memoir.

SPEAKER_00 25:12

Okay, we're gonna stop there and I'm gonna pick you up because I want us to dig a bit deeper into that. But you started writing the book, or before you got to the stage at which you were writing the book, you said that you were, you know, you were searching, you were asking people what they thought. And I think this also is that external validation, still looking for people to tell you what to do. But the interesting thing is that what you needed to do did not come from, did not come from people, it did not come externally, it came from within you because watching that then clicked that thing in your brain. And I think that is just something everyone listening needs to pay attention to because we do it so so much. We're constantly asking people outside, what do you think? What should I do? Well, who am I? You're the answer is within you, and I love the fact that you are searching, and it's in the process of searching that you got the answer that you needed. That is just so great.

SPEAKER_01 26:15

And I tell my clients all the time, too. I'm like, look, I'm gonna coach you, I'm gonna guide you, I'm gonna ask you the right questions, I'm gonna help you think differently, but do not come to me for the answer. Do not say to me, Karen, what do you think I should do? Because my belief system is different than yours. My values, goals, and dreams are different than yours. So, what works for me isn't always gonna work for you. So it's about discovering what is that intention that you want to create? What is that life that you really desire? And then let's open that up and figure out how we get you to that state where you can live it.

SPEAKER_00 26:50

Great. Spot on, spot on. Now, the book, The Inns and Outs of My Vagina, a penetrating memoir. Whoa, what a title! I've got it on my Kindle. In fact, when you release it, I went to I've got to get this. What is Karen talking about? So just tell us briefly why this title and what is it that you know, I can see from just talking to you now what led to it. But if you just tell us what it is, because the ins and out of my virgin, a penetrating memoir, the a penetrating memoir is actually the the clue, it's really about you, you know, discovering yourself. So why that title?

SPEAKER_01 27:36

Yeah, good question. I mean, some of it is shock factor, right? Sex sells. And so I think there is an element of that that we just thought, you know, go big or go home. Like, let's just really be bold here. You know, I toyed around with like V and me, but I'm like, huh, V and me. Who cares about V and me? You know, like people want something that's gonna really pique their interest. So the book, you're you're right. It is very much about a self-discovery journey. It is about learning about our bodies, learning to love our bodies. And it's all written in a very comedic way. And you will rediscover, you know, for women, they will rediscover their own bodies through my story.

unknown 28:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:14

And I touch on a lot of really important topics, you know. I'm I talk about my workaholism in there. I talk about how I put off going and getting um my first OB appointment to check on my baby, and it resulted in an ectopic pregnancy. I mean, the result would have always been that it was ectopic, but I would have known beforehand and I would not have had potentially the same experience and pain and suffering that I went through with that miscarriage. You know, I talk about as a young girl being in a situation with a boy and not knowing how to get out of it. Can I get other mothers to start talking to their their girls, their daughters, about what to do when you're in that type of situation, the dangers of drinking at college while you're on a medication that might make you black out. Um, you know, there's so there's serious topics and then there's fun topics, things like, you know, bikini waxes. And I just so much of my life, I felt ashamed of my body. I felt like I had to hide it, like I was weird or dysfunctional, broken, you know, all kinds of words that come to mind when I think about the relationship that I had with my vagina. And I thought, you know what? If I can help one other woman realize that she is totally normal, she is beautiful, there is nothing to be ashamed of, then like, hello, I've done my job. If I can help one person that's gone through a miscarriage not feel so alone and so devastated and just feel comforted that it's okay to talk about it, okay, then it was a success. You know, it's just those little things were important to me.

SPEAKER_00 29:55

Well, thank you. Thank you. The book is a fabulous read, and you've really you've really given a summary of it in terms of it touches on so many aspects of a woman's life, basically. And I think it's so powerful. So if you're listening to this podcast, go grab your um copy from Amazon. It really is a great read. And the point that you've just touched on of just a you know, a parent or a mom talking to their daughters, even talking to their sons, is so powerful, you know. So I think it's it's something that everyone needs to get a copy of and read. It's really a good read. I started going through it and I was just laughing, and I think your whole actress thing comes out in it. The you know, I think you really come out in the book. It's truly you, you know. Yeah, and I think that is just so that is really refreshing. No, thank you for sharing that. So you've now written the book, and then I know the response has been great because it's an award-winning book, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 31:01

Yes. So the reader's favorite awards, um, it won a gold medal for the humor category. And uh Bookfest has also recognized it in a few different categories as well. So it's been amazing to see the response and the support that this little independently published book has gotten.

SPEAKER_00 31:21

Well done. Honestly, I really recommend you, Karen. It's really good and well done for doing that. And I know you're writing another book, so I'm waiting.

SPEAKER_01 31:31

Yes, but it's not about my body. So the second book is going to be um, and I just hired my editor the other day. So we're starting in January, gonna get that goal uh crushed. And hopefully, you know, by June ish or summertime, it should be coming out in 2023. But that's gonna be all about how to reinvent your life. And it's really gonna be like a coach in your pocket, right? So if you're one of those people who likes DIY stuff and you're like, let me just get her book and try to figure this out on my own, uh, you know, I want that to be a fabulous resource for you because I did use some books. You know, there were some books that I read early in my midlife crisis when I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do that were incredibly helpful and helped me claim my power back and not because I was giving so much of it away and really realized, no, I can be in the driver's seat. That that's a choice that I have made to be in the passenger seat of my life. And I can change that. So again, like if my book can touch a couple of people's lives and give them the permission that they need to reinvent themselves and pivot, that's you know, living my purpose, right? That's why I'm here now.

SPEAKER_00 32:40

That's that's so powerful. It's a choice, it's a choice, and even the concept of rewiring your brain is a choice, yeah, you know, and the fact is that we can do it. So that is great. So, Karen, how did you then move? You know, you had the crisis, and then you started writing the book. And I know now you you work as a coach, as a life reinvention coach. So, how did that come about? And how did you get through this crisis? So, did the book do it? And how did that happen?

SPEAKER_01 33:15

Yeah, very much. So, the book definitely played a big role in coming out of the midlife crisis because what I found is like suddenly I had this fire in my belly again. You know, I was excited. I couldn't wait to jump out of the bed in in the morning and be like, I get to write another chapter. Let's see what my editor said we should change or this or that, you know. So I was pumped. And it really a lot of it came for my editor because he said, Look, you need to build a platform. Nobody buys a memoir from someone they don't know. So you need to get out there and start creating a platform and have a voice. Like, what am I gonna talk about? So I made a website and I was like, I'll call myself a motivational speaker because I love speaking. I'm doing some podcasts to promote the book. This makes sense. Okay, great. And it was almost like the universe was like, okay, you want to be a mutive motivational speaker? We got you. And I ended up getting one a seat. I never win anything. I won a seat in a challenge to build your talk in 90 days. And there I was writing my my speeches, my signature talks, started booking some gigs. But what I realized really quickly was I love motivational speaking and I still do it today, but I don't want the it to end there. Because with motivational speaking, you get people all jazzed up, they're excited, they're inspired, and then they walk away and go, I feel all good inside, but I don't know what to do.

SPEAKER_00 34:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:40

How do I actually take all this excitement and you know, joy that I just felt and translate it into meaningful actions that really start to change my life? And that's kind of how I came up with the idea of becoming a life coach because I realized I just did this. I just completely went from the depths of depression, drinking every night, completely hopeless, crying in the bathroom with panic attacks, crying at work, like I was literally coming undone and falling apart. I really don't know I could have gone much deeper. I mean, I was bad. It was really bad. But most people around me had no idea. They did not know everything that I was experiencing. But if I can go from that myself and create this life that suddenly I'm bursting with joy and can't wait to get out of bed in the morning, I was like, I have to tell people these secrets. I have to show them the way and actually help them through it. And that was that. I got laid off from my corporate job in August of 2020, August 12th, I remember the date. It was very happy, which was weird. But I'd been fantasizing about getting laid off. I was like, please, like, just I don't make me make this decision, you know. Like it was almost like I didn't want to take responsibility for it. Yeah. Um, but I had put a date in the sand. I said, you know, December 31st, I'm gonna leave, regardless, because my book will be far enough along. But you know, the universe was had other plans and was like, we're done here. We're your your role is eliminated. Say goodbye. I got a severance package, so that held me over for a little bit. And that was it. By the next the following year in that September, I launched the book and um started building up my coaching practice practice simultaneously.

SPEAKER_00 36:28

Wait, so you're laid off in August. And when did the book come out?

SPEAKER_01 36:32

When did in September of 2021? So almost a full year later. But yeah, honestly, it would have been sooner. But I I had a moment, I chickened out, and the completed manuscript sat on my computer for about three or four months before I did anything. Because, you know, it's one thing to write a book like this that basically shares your most intimate private moments. It's quite another to actually publish it and realize that people you have worked with, um, that you have reported to maybe or have worked for you and read it. Yeah, people at your church might read it. Like, you know, it's uh and I started to panic and be like, I don't know if I can do this. Um, but thank God for my coach, because you know, every coach has a coach, and she really helped me work through my fears and you know, things that I thought were real were just false evidence appearing real. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 37:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:32

And thank goodness I did it.

SPEAKER_00 37:34

Oh, well done. I was gonna actually going to ask the question. So what then made you or enabled you then, you know, launch the book or publish the book? So when did you start working with the coach?

SPEAKER_01 37:46

Yeah, so gosh, that was probably 2020. So that would have been I got laid off in August, and I think I started with her in December. It was yeah, it was like right before Christmas. Because I remember thinking, I can't believe I'm spending this much money on myself. Like I don't typically, I had not ever typically invested that kind of money um in coaching. But it was a business coach and I thought I'm gonna make this back, right? She's gonna show me how to create a really stable coaching practice. So I'm gonna do it. I'm just gonna bet on me, you know, and I and I had to make some scary investments and some scary decisions. And, you know, I always tell people, like, what if you couldn't be wrong? Like, what if you just trusted yourself? And you knew that what you were deciding to do was right. And that was kind of the mentality that I just had to have. And I'm so glad I did because she helped me through a lot of challenges and mindset issues when you're starting a business and you're putting out a book that's so personal.

SPEAKER_00 38:48

Yeah, yeah. No, that's that thanks for sharing that because a lot of times people don't invest in themselves. And the fact that you took that step to do it is is really commendable. And and it's so powerful, you know, when you invest in yourself, you get something out of it, you know, even if it's not monetary, it would be something that would definitely be really beneficial to you. So you then got the coach, launched the book, and how did you then set up your business? And you know, I know you've talked a bit about what you do. So if you kind of just go into a bit more detail about what you actually do now to help women transform their lives.

SPEAKER_01 39:30

Sure. So I really started with my signature program called Edit Your Life, which is all about helping you really envision the big goals that you have for your life, documenting them, because we all have dreams, they float around in our head, but until we actually document them and come up with a plan, they don't do us much good. And then we're working on the I, which is investing in yourself and investing in the business or whatever it is that you're creating, investing in, you know, finding a new job. And where do you need to devest in? Like, where are you spending time or energy that actually is not serving you? Get really clear on all those things. And then the T is for taking action and really helping you get through your psyche and managing that mindset and managing those fears and helping you overcoming that doubt and holding your hand all the way through so that you don't feel like you have to go through this alone. And that accountability piece, in and of itself, is one of the most valuable things you will ever get from a coach because we all have goals, we all have desires, but most of us will go six months, a year without doing anything because we don't have a deadline. We don't have someone coming to us, breathing down our neck, going, well, where why didn't you do that yet? And that's a huge benefit of coaching. So it's a six-month program. I really focus on high-achieving women who are looking for something different, whether that's finding another job in corporate, doing something more heart-centered, like nonprofit, or making the leap out like I did and doing something more with an entrepreneurial spirit. Yeah. And I was gonna say, most recently, um I've launched a group program. So when I started my business, one-on-one just felt like a really good place to be because I got to know my clients so well. I got to hear the real challenges that they were facing in their jobs and just the fears that they were coming up with. And I started to notice the patterns and the trends. I'm like, every single one of them is saying that they have imposter syndrome, that they don't feel good enough. Okay, this is something that needs to be addressed on a bigger scale. So I created a second program, which is a group program called Success Without Sacrifice. And I'm really proud of it because it's about as personalized as a group coaching program can be. And each person walks away with a blueprint for their own life, and it's called your success blueprint. So it's just like a nice little handbook, um, like workout sheet that you can use that looks at like, what are my values? What are my big goals? What is the priority of those goals? Like a lot of people never even take the time to figure out that. What are my main priorities? Um, what are my non-negotiables? What are the things that are distracting me or that, you know, the boundaries that I need to start setting and enforcing? And so through an eight-week program, we walk you through all of these elements and more. And it's just been amazing to create this community where they're not only getting coaching from me, but from their peers and the other people in the mastermind. So um, so my business has definitely evolved. I'm busier than I've ever been. You know, it's, I think, again, just so many people right now are looking at their life. There's quiet quitting happening, and there's uh, you know, the great resignation. And people are just going, yeah, why am I here? What do I want this life to look like? And there's nothing wrong with asking for a little help. Why go through it alone? I mean, gosh, all said and done. It took me four years to get through my full midlife crisis from like start to peak to like working my way out of it. Why would you ever put yourself that through that when you can have support and you can do something in six months and make massive changes?

SPEAKER_00 43:11

Yeah, I love that. I love that. Just getting that support or working with someone and also people that can that really probably have even experienced it to help you through because they're coming at it from a place of, you know what, I know what you've been through. And that that's so powerful. So the group um coaching or the group program you run, do you have um do people fit come into it at any time, or do you have a time that you know everyone starts and you walk through? And if that's the case, when is the next one starting?

SPEAKER_01 43:45

Sure. Yeah, at the moment it is a start-stop. So our applications are opening January 1st, uh, perfect timing for the new year. And we're gonna start the first week of February.

SPEAKER_00 43:57

And that's great. That's great. And I'll put the links in the description for anyone that is interested in joining. That would be fantastic. Yeah, thank you so much. Yeah, no, that's great, Karen. Thank you so much. You've really you opened yourself up to us, and um, you know, we now the journey that you've been on has just been amazing. And I think what I find so mind blowing is the way you were, you are, you are very, I would say, conscious about what you're doing because you're able to at every point pivot, change, and that is something that says a lot about. About you as a person. And, you know, just doing what you're doing now, it's so obvious that anyone you work with really will be getting the best out of you because you're just a go-getter. You know, you're there, you're doing it. And you know, when you work, when you work with people like that, there's no way they can live the same, you know, because that's what it always says, it's um, you know, emotions are contagious. And also, you know, when you when you're able to rewire your own brain, it becomes easy to teach people to do it as well. And then you've, you know, so honestly, well done. And anyone that really wants to reach out to Karen, I'm going to put her details on. She is very active on LinkedIn as well. So you can find her there. And the the link will um, I'll put her link in the description as well. So, Karen, to just round this up, can you just leave us with um some words of wisdom or advice, especially at this time of the year, that people start thinking a lot about what they want to do. In fact, a lot of people will probably be going through what you went through when you had your crisis now. So, what advice can you give them?

SPEAKER_01 45:51

Yeah, turn inward, start to really look into your own heart, your own mind, and explore those thoughts. And journaling was so helpful for me to just have a safe space to express those feelings and those emotions and then go back and look at them and go, wow, I am not happy. This is a theme that has been running over and over. Am I really just gonna sit here and continue to let this go on or am I gonna do something about it? And trust yourself. I mean, you do have all the answers. And the more you start to explore, the more you're gonna see those answers with clarity. I I could not have told you when I was in my midlife crisis that I was gonna write a book and become a life coach. Those were not even options on the table. But as I started to explore and ask the right questions and allow myself to think differently, that's when it all started to come into clarity over time. So yeah, just really go deep. Don't look to others for answers because you have them all.

SPEAKER_00 46:53

That is powerful. That is powerful. Don't look to others for answers. You've got the answers, just go inwards. That is that is powerful, and that is so true, so true. Karen, thank you so, so much for coming on to Lead2XL podcast. I knew you would be amazing, and you are amazing, and it's been fantastic having this chat with you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 47:19

Oh, it's an honor. I appreciate it. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 47:23

Okay, three things before we finish today. Have you subscribed to this podcast? If you haven't, make sure you click that subscribe button wherever you listen to this podcast. Because once you subscribe, you will not miss an episode. And as usual, if you have a topic you would love me to speak about or bring a guest on, do let me know by leaving a review. Finally, do have a fantastic week and remember that you are limitless. So I look forward to seeing you in our next episode. Bye for now.