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Hey there, Maureen Chiana here, and welcome back to our second episode of Lead to Excel podcast. I am absolutely thrilled to be with you today because today we're talking about how to overcome anxiety and overwhelm. This episode came about because so many people in my community were complaining about being overwhelmed and being anxious. But also, when I look at society now, a lot of people ask them how they are. Oh, I'm stressed. And there's a bit there's also been a lot of talk on mental health, mental um well-being, emotional well-being. So I really decided that this would be a good topic to talk about because you see, I sincerely believe that knowledge is power. When you understand exactly what causes you to be anxious, overwhelmed, then you can do something about it. When you understand exactly what is happening in the brain, then you can do something about it. You see, a lot of people go to the doctor to complain about being anxious, being depressed, and the first thing a lot of doctors do is give medication. But you know what? The fact is, if you understand exactly how your brain works and how to take back control of your brain, a lot of people would not be anxious, a lot of people will not let anxiety hold them down or get overwhelmed. Because at the end of the day, what causes anxiety and overwhelming in most cases is exactly how you perceive the situation, it's how you perceive the circumstance in which you're faced with. So grab a cup of coffee or tea or whatever it is you like, put your feet up and listen in. You might be wondering what it actually means to be overwhelmed. But first, I'll ask you a question. Are you unable to relax? Do you find that you constantly overthinking every decision you make? Are you worried about saying the wrong thing? So instead, what you do is keep quiet. Do you find that you don't sleep well at night or that you get jumpy when your phone rings? Do you also find that you're always questioning your choices and the distractions that exist all around us? It actually creeps up on us and can in its extreme form leave us feeling anxious, stressed, and exhausted. I recently worked with a client who literally froze mentally whenever he was under pressure. He said he felt as if his brain had literally switched off. He'd find himself lost in his own head, you know, thinking, going playing things over and over and over. And he once turned up for a meeting with his line manager with just his pen. He completely forgot to carry out the task for the meeting and did not even have any report to present to his manager. His brain felt overloaded, just like a busy large city like Kuala Lumpur with the deafening noise of cars and taxis hooting, where the lights flicker and then go out. And that's how he said he felt most of the time. When we're overwhelmed or anxious, we can't function. And the reason for this is when we're overwhelmed, the emotional center of our brain is activated, and what it does is that it then deactivates the conscious part of the brain, which is known as the prefrontal cortex, which is part of the brain that we use for decision making. I'll tell you another story. Another client of mine used to create a daily to-do list and literally let her brain get hijacked by her own list because she never got past the first five items and then spent the rest of the night and the next day upset and feeling like a failure because she couldn't complete her to-do list. So literally, she was creating a to-do list that was now causing her a lot of anxiety and overwhelm, where she then kept blaming herself. The brain just doesn't see a to-do list. What the brain sees is a threat. Our brain's function is to keep us safe. That's what that's what the brain is there for. So anything that the brain sees as a threat, what it tries to do is to protect us from that threat. So this to-do list, the brain was seeing the to-do list as a threat. And that's why when she couldn't complete it, what the brain then sees is failure. So what the brain then sees when she couldn't complete it is, oh gosh, if I don't complete this list, it means I'm a failure. And when she did not complete it, that's exactly what she told herself that she was a failure. And the interesting thing is, as she created this list, one of the first things that she started telling herself is, I don't have enough time to fit everything into 24 hours. I've got too much work to do, I don't have enough energy. And all these are statements, narratives that the brain starts telling yourself that the brain starts coming up with to literally protect you from what it sees as something that could be a potential failure. Or it sees the threat of disappointing others, the threat of even feeling incapable. We know that anxiety is on the rise and it's affecting millions of people, and sadly, recent research has found that the most afflicted are in the 18 to 26 year old age group. Our bodies react to threat the same way as the fight, flight, or freeze. Whether the threat is a lot of pressure at work, whether it's to the to-do list that makes us feel like we can't breathe, or it could even just be a pedestrian suddenly runs across in front of your car. It's the same principle that the brain then uses or is activated to shield us and protect us. Usually we land somewhere between the freeze and fight, which could manifest as procrastination. Because think about it. If you see something as a threat to you, what do you do? You try to stay away from it, and that's exactly what happens when you procrastinate. Because if you're about to take a challenge or about to start something new that you've never done before, and something that your brain is seeing as a threat, the what your brain will try to do is to keep you away from it, keep you away just in case you fail, keep you away just in case you come across as incapable, keep you away in case people look at you and feel, oh, it's he stupid, am I right? Whether you're not capable of doing something, or whether people will start actually seeing something that you don't want them to see. You know, this thought of, oh, I don't want to get found out. All these are ways in which the brain comes up with narratives to keep to keep you away from doing what it perceives as a threat. So one of the solutions is for you to look at the situation and identify whether it is truly a risk or not. You know, so the question is what do you do if you're overwhelmed, if you're paralyzed, or you find yourself procrastinating? And the first thing really is to identify this situation, recognize it. Is it actually a threat or it's not? And if it's not, then let's discuss what we are what we need to do. If it's a threat, then take the appropriate action to avoid danger, which is what your brain is actually trying to get you to do in the first place. So it's understanding exactly what's happening in your body and being able to identify when things are not right. Now, research tells us that when our stress response system is activated, many other processes in the body and mind shut down. When the emotional center of the brain is activated, which is what causes the stress, it needs oxygen to feed the cells in the emotional center of the brain. And the first place it takes that oxygen from is the prefrontal cortex, which is the frontal part of the brain that deals with decision making. The next place it takes it also from is the tummy region. And if the stress is prolonged over a long period of time, what you find is that your urinary gland is also affected. And I don't know if you've ever noticed or seen anyone that's been so stressed or so worried and anxious that you wet yourself. That's the reason why. Because anxiety and overwhelm is a stress response, what it then does is deactivate the thinking part of the brain, your tummy area, and that's why you have that pain and uncomfortable feeling in your tummy region. So, first thing is to recognize this feeling. So try recognizing the signals for your own stress cycle and keep track on a calendar possibly to mark how frequently this happens. When do you have these cycles? When do they tend to happen? Is it at the beginning of the day? Is it at the end of the day, or is it when you're going to work? I gave a talk once and someone came up to me and told me about his wife that gets really anxious every morning when she's driving to work. She'll be perfectly fine preparing, getting up, and going to work. But once she gets into that car, she starts panicking. She literally starts getting anxious. So recognize when you feel this way, when you get those anxiety feelings, or is it when you're about to go in for a meeting at work? For some people, it could even be Friday nights when you're driving home. And another thing to also look for is who is a repeated character in your stress episodes. So is it when you think about someone, or is it when you're going to meet your manager, or is it when you're about to come, you know, meet your partner? Just think and see if there's a repeated character or in your stress episodes or in your anxiety and overwhelm episodes. Recognition is the first stage in being able to control the way you feel, to control the stress and the feeling of overwhelm. Recognizing when you feel anxious, recognizing when you're feeling overwhelmed is the key to being able to then control it and overcome and get rid of it. The second tip I want to give you is known as grounding technique, and it's called 54321. What you do is you basically walk your way through your five senses. At the point at which you're feeling anxious and feeling overwhelmed, this grounding technique is a good way to put a brake on it. It's equivalent to driving a car and something just suddenly runs in front of you. What do you do? You apply the brakes, absolutely, and that's exactly what you're doing here. So when you're anxious and overwhelmed, your emotional center has literally hijacked your brain. So what you're going to do here is put your brakes on to stop the emotional center from taking over your brain, from literally hijacking the rest of your brain. So the first thing to do is acknowledge five things around you that you see. So five things that you can see, acknowledge them. And it could be a clock on the wall, it could be chairs, it could be a cloud outside, you know, looking up and you see cloud, it could be nearby trees. But whatever it is, look at look for five things that you can see. The next step is to acknowledge four things around you that you can touch. So all you're doing is really acknowledging them. Acknowledge four things that you can touch. This could be your phone, it could even be the chair you're sitting on, your hair, or your wallet, or even your handbag. And then acknowledge three things that you can hear, which could be the sound of people talking, it could be the hum of fans, or your clock ticking. The next thing is to acknowledge two things around you that you can smell. You know, breathing the aroma of coffee or the lovely smell of a new book, or check to see how your deodorant is actually working today, and finally, acknowledge one thing that you can taste, and that could be a sip of cold water, or even just the taste of your last meal in your mouth. At the end of this exercise, celebrate your success, and this does two things to interrupt the anxiety and overwhelm that is going on in your brain. First, it grounds you in your senses and presents, you know, be it brings you back into the moment, into this actual moment. Secondly, keeping track of the counting and walking your way through your senses interrupts the spinning thoughts that are going on in your brain. So this is what actually puts on the brake to those thoughts, those spinning thoughts that are going on. It's a mini moment of mindfulness to help pull you out of the spiral that you can literally get yourself into if you don't stop. Because think about it, what actually causes the overwhelm and anxiety is when you start when your thoughts start spinning basically out of control. But one thing I always say is remember you look after your body, you put on the right cream. Most of us ladies have hand creams in our bags, you know, so we know we can look after our hands, but the brain, we don't see it. And a lot of times that's the one organ that is neglected, but it's the most important organ that we have. It's the organ that can give us so much joy, so much success, but it's the same organ that can cause us so much sorrow and illness. The next tip is prioritization. Prioritization comes down to two major things. How important is the issue at hand and how soon does it need to be addressed? Let's look at an example. Your manager has given you three weeks to complete a report and present it at a meeting. So work backwards. You've got three weeks to complete this report. Now, where do you start? What where would you do your research? Where will you get the information that you need to be able to get the report ready? Would you need to speak to people? Would you need to go through some data? So list this out, break them down for you to create the presentation and have all the information and practice before you have to present this report at the board meeting. If you can break each problem down like this, then you can address each step. One other issue I know a lot of people have is when they have a lot of things on their list and deciding, okay, my land manager, my boss has asked me to do this, this, this, this, this, which is more important. Go back to them and ask them, okay, I've got all this to do at this time. Which one is a priority? If you don't if you can work out which one is, go back and ask them. Because you see, sometimes a lot of leaders I see give a lot of work to people without actually considering the amount that they've given them and how long it would take. So sometimes it's actually good to sit down with the person and then analyze it and then come up with a solution. But there's no point in worrying about it and not doing anything. Because you see, when you worry, remember you're either going to go into the flight, into the freeze, or into the into the fight mode. And most times, like I said, some people go into freeze and not do it, and you don't want to be in that situation, but most importantly, you don't want to be in a situation whereby you're stressing yourself about things which it could be you as a leader that you have to do something. I know entrepreneurs that have got lists of things they want to do or business owners, and go into that whole freeze mechanism and procrastination of not doing it because they've not analyzed what they need to do, they've not prioritized, so everything just seems a priority, and then nothing gets done. So, some questions to guide you when setting priorities. What needs to be done immediately? What are the consequences if the task is not done? When should you start working on each task? What resources and inputs do I need to complete this task? What has not been done that should have been done? And I've got a fourth tip that I'm going to train as a bonus, and that stop multitasking. I've put this in because a lot of people believe that they're actually really cool when they can multitask. Now, I'm telling you, don't multitask. Work on one task at a time because multitasking is a myth, and trying to do it only splits your focus. To be able to be successful and get excellent results, your brain needs focus and attention. Our brains are not equipped for multitasking tasks that actually need brain power. Instead, what happens is that we end up toggling back and forth among our various tasks, repeatedly switching back and forth from one project to another, like a hummingbird darting from flower to flower and then back to the original flower. And this only impairs your ability to function at your finest. A quote by Dr. Gracias really sums this up. It says our brain does not perform tasks simultaneously, it performs them in sequence, one after another. So when you're multitasking, you're literally switching back and forth between the things that you're doing. And whenever you transition, From one task to another, it takes a moment for your brain to fully become engaged in the new activity. An example is when you're trying to walk from home and you're also trying to keep an eye on your kids or your cooking, you're also at the same time holding a phone conversation while the TV is on, watching your email notifications while you work, or simply keeping your smartphone at hand 24-7, all this force you to transition your attention back and forth so many times. Now, many surgeons say that their most loved environment in the hospital is the operating room. Despite the stress and risk inherent in their job, it's the place of isolation, a safe home from the multitasking world. Surgeons need to really focus when they're operating. Many of them are very efficient in what they do, but in the real world, when they come out and they have to do so many tasks at the same time, they can't. So the theater is a place that they really try to be in and enjoy and excel in. So, in conclusion, before you react to anything, any situation, pause to observe your thoughts, recognize what they are, and then shape them the way you want them to be. When you align your thoughts and actions with what truly matters to you, you feel at peace. Remember to take back control of your brain. Don't let your brain do what it wants. You have the choice, you have the capability to be in control of your thoughts, and it's your thoughts that creates the emotions of stress and anxiety. When you follow these strategies, I can guarantee you that you're going to say goodbye to your overwhelm and gain much more control over your life, over your day, but most importantly, over your brain. Okay, three things before we finish today. Have you subscribed to this podcast? If you haven't, make sure you click on that subscribe button wherever you listen to this podcast. Because once you subscribe, you will not miss an episode. I do bonus episodes and I don't email about them. So when I have a bonus episode come out, you will get it in your app wherever you subscribe to this podcast. So make sure you do so. Subscribe now. Number two, leave a review because I will do a listener shout out each week and it just might be you. Finally, next week, our topic will be rewire your brain and destroy limiting beliefs. We're going to look at the limiting beliefs that we have that hinder people from achieving their goal, from taking action, limiting beliefs that cause self-sabotage, limiting beliefs that prevent people from achieving excellence. And this could be things like abundance blocks, success blocks, and beliefs that cause anxiety, worry, depression. We are going to take a look inside the brain to see what causes these beliefs and how to overcome them, and also how to prevent future limiting beliefs. So I look forward to seeing you in next week's episode, and I wish you an amazing week. See you soon.