Rejection

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Welcome , welcome , welcome . You're tuning in to the Lead to Excel podcast , the hub where science meets leadership and transformation begins . I'm your host , maureen Cheyanna , founder of the Mindsight Academy , a trailblazer in the world of neuro-leadership , I'm an executive neuro-coach , leadership transformer and a neuroscience enthusiast , dedicated to empowering leaders , entrepreneurs and changemakers like you . Every week , we delve into the heart of neuroscience to discover how you can unleash your potential , master your brain , manage emotions yours and others alter behaviors and exceed expectations . We are here to help you not just to survive , but thrive and flourish in the fast-paced world around us . We're about to kick off another high-impact episode today , diving into a topic that is powerful , intriguing and has the potential to shift your leadership journey . So , my friends , it's time to put on your thinking caps , grab your favorite beverage and get comfortable . It's time to elevate your leadership , to excel and so hire , let's dive right in . Today , we delve into a topic that's close to many of our hearts Rejection . Rather than wallow in the pain , I want to unpack why rejection is , in fact , a gift . We'll combine the powerful elements of emotional intelligence , scriptures and neuro-leadership to guide us . So let's begin .

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In 2007 , after I closed my business and my mom passed away suddenly . I was at such a low point in my life One afternoon , as I was sitting and feeling sorry for myself , I called a good friend . No response . I called again and her daughter came to the phone and told me that her mom said that she doesn't want to speak to me , that she's decided to cut away from some friends , which I was one of them . I don't know if you've ever felt more alone At that point . I felt all of these things rejected alone , unbelievable . The emotions were just climbing on top of each other . It was such a low point in my life the one friend that I thought would be there to support me had turned her back on me .

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For me , for you , it's your parents regularly comparing you to others , making you feel inadequate or not good enough . Or maybe that was what happened while you were growing up . You might be the one putting in all the hours and effort at work , only for your line manager to constantly pick faults in everything you do . You might be the one that does the right things at work and even trains other people , but denied that promotion yet again . That happened to me as well . Is it your spouse , or even a parent , that suddenly walked out of your marriage or walked out of your life , or walked out of your life as a child .

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Rejection impacts on our self-esteem , self-worth , and it cuts deep in our heart because it makes you feel lonely . In this podcast episode , I will show you that rejection is indeed a gift , because it's all a perception . What rejection is still having an impact on your life , your career , your progress or even your purpose in life ? Is it fear of rejection , fear of failure , fear of taking risks ? Let's start by looking at my favourite topic Emotional Intelligence .

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Emotional Intelligence is our ability to recognize , understand , manage and influence our own and others' emotions . It's about resilience and perspective . Now , when you're faced with rejection , whether in a personal life or professionally , it's your emotional intelligence that would determine how you respond to it . Now , proverbs 4.23 says Above all else , guard your heart , for everything you do flows from it . This scripture reminds us of the importance of protecting our emotional well-being . You see , our brain views rejection as a threat to our survival . Rejection activates the same pathways in our brain as physical pain . That's why it hurts so badly . But here's the beauty of it . Just as our muscles grow stronger when challenged , our brain , when faced with rejection , has the capacity to develop , resilience , adapt and overcome . Romans 5.3-4 tells us we also glory in our sufferings , because we know that suffering produces perseverance , character and character hope . So how do we transform rejection into a gift ?

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I told you the story of how I experienced rejection at a very low point in my life . These two scriptures that I'm going to read to you were the ones that I held on to , and it really changed my perspective . Psalm 139.13-14 says For you created my inmost being . You need me to gather my mother's womb . I praise you because I'm fearfully and wonderfully made . Your works are wonderful . That was the part that really made me stop seeing myself as a victim or as a rejected one , because you know what . It was a human being like myself that had turned her back on me . But there's one person that I knew I was very precious to , and that's God , and that completely changed my perspective , because this scripture shows that God intricately designed and values each of us , and for me that was very personal . Isaiah 43.4 says Because you are precious in my eyes and honored , and I love you , I am precious in God's eyes . So , yes , somebody might feel that they don't care about me . That's absolutely fine , because the most important person to me , my father . God Almighty treasures me . So for you it might mean a parent has turned their back , a spouse has turned their back .

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I told you that I'd gone through the experience of working so hard at work , training people under me . I went on maternity leave and you know what my line manager did . He restructured my job , re-advertised it and gave it to the person that I had trained A fellow white man . I felt so rejected at that point , but I used that situation to propel me to re-evaluate what I wanted to do , and that was the point . I decided to open my own business . I left the company . I went back after maternity leave , did my three months and left . And leaving and setting up the business is what has gotten me to where I am today Doing what I love so much , really being able to impact so many other people . So it was painful at the time , but it was truly a gift . The same thing with that friend that rejected me . It became a gift for me because now I don't put my hope in human beings . My hope is truly in God , who will never fail me , and that has saved me so much heartache , so much problems , because I'm more in control of friendships . I've learned how to manage my expectations of people .

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Another thing that truly helps is accept and allow yourself to feel . It's natural to feel pain when rejected . Emotional validation is really critical to us as human beings . Throughout our daily lives , we experience so many different emotions , from joy to sorrow , excitement to disappointment . These emotions are really integral to our human experience . In the Garden of God's Seminy , jesus demonstrated vulnerability by expressing his dread for the impending crucifixion . My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death , is what he said in Matthews 26 38 . This really highlights that feeling deeply , even to the point of anguish , isn't a sign of weakness . It's a testament to the depth of human experience and it's okay to feel pain .

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The important thing is don't stay there , don't wallow in that pain . Get up , re-evaluate the situation and examine your own interpretation of that situation . So when facing emotional pain , rather than suppress or deny it , it's important to acknowledge and validate your feelings . The healing process truly begins with acceptance . However , it's crucial , like I said , to ensure that your feelings become a catalyst for your growth and not a pitfall of despair . Another great point is reflect and learn . Ask yourself what can this rejection teach me ? Is there something I need to work on ? Or perhaps is this a redirection towards something better , a path more aligned with my purpose ? Because every experience , especially the painful ones , offers a lesson . Instead of ruminating on the pain , ask yourself some critical questions to gain insight from this situation . Assess that situation objectively . Perhaps there are areas that you need to improve , and maybe this rejection is a divine detail leading to a more fulfilling destination for you . Either way , reflection paves the way for personal growth .

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Faith, Science, and Emotional Growth

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Boosting your emotional intelligence means understanding your emotions . Instead of viewing rejection as a failure or a reflection of your own self-worth , view it as feedback . It's an opportunity to grow , adjust and evolve . When it's a parent that you feel has rejected you by walking away , remember the person of obviously has issues that made him walk away , but it's nothing to do with you . So they are the ones with the problem , not you , because the amount of people that have seen as adults whose self-worth has been impacted by a parent walking out is so high , or women whose spouse have walked away and their self-worth has been affected so much . No , the fact is that they are the ones with the problem . Don't allow it impact on who you are . Your identity is wrapped around somebody else and this is where emotional intelligence really gives us the skills to interpret and manage our emotions constructively .

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Reframing is a technique where we change our perspective on a situation which can alter our emotional response to it , because when you change your thoughts , the emotions attached to the thoughts change . So the emotions attached to a negative thought of oh , I've been rejected is different from the emotion of I love who I am . They might have walked away , but you know what I'm comfortable and happy with who I am and you know what . They've gone away . I need to now look at my life . What do I need to do ? Where do I need to go ? Just like what happened to me with that job . It made me re-evaluate and rethink what can I do with my life now and I changed course . Truly , like I said , was a gift or the friend that walked away . That's fine . I don't even need a friend like that in my life and it really helped me over the years with friendships and expectations .

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Joseph in the Bible we all know the story of Joseph after being sold into slavery by his brothers and later rising to power in Egypt , reframed his own painful past by saying in Genesis 50-20 , you intended to harm me , but God intended it for good . This shift in perspective reflects high emotional intelligence . He could have been bitter , he could have been planning how he would take revenge , but he didn't . And the honest truth is he was free there , the ones that probably kept feeling guilty . So rejection can be reframed from a mark of inadequacy to constructive feedback . So , instead of internalizing the rejection , view it as an external pointer to guide your personal or professional development .

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Meditation is another powerful tool that helps with rejection . Scripture provides timeless wisdom and solace For me . Meditating on Scripture enabled me to internalize these truths and being an anchor for me in times of turmoil . Jeremiah 29-11 says I know the plans I have for you . Declares the Lord Plans for welfare and not for evil , to give you a future and a hope . This verse is a potent reminder that , despite current circumstances , there's a divine plan ensuring my welfare . So , honestly , no matter what situation it is , as I go back to this promise , it re-energizes me and gives me ability to get up and go after falling . So incorporating Scripture meditation into your daily routine will enable you to embed divine truth into your heart , equipping you to combat feelings of worklessness or despair with reminders of your divine worth and destiny . So remember that rejection isn't the end , it's merely a turn in the road . It's an invitation to grow , to evolve , to come closer to your true self , your divine purpose . So the next time rejection knocks on your door , greet it with grace , wisdom and the understanding that it is indeed a gift . Thank you once again for joining me and I hope this has brought comfort and insight into your life . May we all continue to grow in wisdom , emotional intelligence and understanding .

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We've gotten to the end of another enlightening episode of Lead to Excel podcast . Thank you for spending your valuable time with us today , diving deep into the intriguing world of neuroscience and leadership . Remember , the journey to personal and professional excellence is not a sprint , it's a marathon , and every step , no matter how small , brings you closer to your goals . If you found value in our conversation today and its packed insights or even questions , I invite you to share your thoughts with us . Join our community on the Mindsight Academy it's called Limitless Leaders Community where we continue the conversation and share valuable resources to help you lead and excel .

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