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Hey there, Maureen Cherna here again. I'm the founder of the Mindsight Academy, a neurocoach to executives, to leaders, entrepreneurs, and I'm also a neuroleadership trainer using insights from neuroscience to help you flourish and exceed expectations. Welcome back to another episode of Lead to Excel podcast. I am absolutely thrilled to be with you today because today I'm focusing on one of my Angelo's poems. Still I'll write. A few weeks ago, I gave a talk at a women in leadership conference. At the end of the conference, a lady came to speak to me about this poem because I had quoted one of the paragraphs in the poem. She was curious to understand how hypothetically someone who had been undermined from when they were a child that they were not good enough, that they were not going to achieve much, and they were not capable of doing great things by their parents. How can they just suddenly come out of that mindset and then achieve great things or achieve great things in life basically, or go on to be successful in life? And she couldn't understand how that can be done. So, how does the person break through those limitations? Because the person now believes that they can't. I had a conversation with her and explained basically how that person can, with knowledge, with awareness, with understanding, with help, change their mindsets, which literally means they can rewire their brain. And it's from the rewiring of the brain that then brings about the success. It's from the rewiring of the brain that enables people to take the actions, the steps to then go on to achieve great success and to flourish and exceed expectations, basically. And after that conversation, I felt, you know what, I'm going to do a podcast on this because it's really important. A lot of people are held back from things they had been told as a child or from their beliefs about themselves. And it's really made a lot of people so scared, so afraid to take steps that they really know they should take. Research shows that about 92% of people never achieve their goals. That is crazy. The amount of people that live their lives and never achieve what they want to achieve is unbelievable. I've witnessed someone on his deathbed regretting things that he should have done. It's just not a nice place to be. That's why I'm doing this podcast to help you or anyone you know to take the steps you need to take to live the life you want to live and achieve the goals you want to achieve. So let's get right in. But if you know anyone that would benefit from this podcast, please share it with them, share it with your network, share it with your friends and family, because it will truly change your life. The first stanza in the poem says, Did you want to see me broken, bowed head and lowered eyes, shoulders falling down like teardrops, weakened by my soulful cries? And the third stanza says, You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise. Wow. I just love this poem. I love it. When I had to close my hair and beauty business, and I identified myself as a failure, I could not see any good thing coming out from that experience. But you know what? It was that experience that led me to understand the power of the brain. It was from that experience that I now do what I do today: helping leaders, helping individuals achieve their goals, understand how to be in control of their lives, helping them to become high performers and live the life that they truly desire to live. I also remember when I was about to launch this business full-time, and a friend of mine said to me, What if it doesn't work? What if people don't want to hear you? What if your accent is a barrier? And I left her with these thoughts playing on my mind. And you know how clever the brain is? As the thoughts were playing in my mind, it was even creating more of the negative thoughts, more of the what-ifs, more of reasons why I shouldn't do this. And I stopped my brain. I said, no, no, no, no. I'm doing this because I know that there's someone out there that I can help from my own experience. I know there's someone out there that I can help from the knowledge I've gained about the brain. There's someone out there that needs to hear me. And immediately I said that, my brain started coming up with reasons why I should. So at the end of the day, you are in control of your own brain. And my question is: whose life are you living now? And whose life do you want to keep living? Do you want to live your own life or you want to keep living somebody else's life? Because you see, the advice people give you is from their own understanding, it's from their own fears, it's from their own experiences, it's from what they've seen. So, why would you let someone that has a negative experience or negative bias towards what you want to do hold you back? Our parents, in most instances, mean well, they have trained us, or we as parents are training our kids from our place of understanding. So, whoever you are, as an adult or as a child, it's so important to question, think about, reflect on what people are saying. And we need to train our children to also reflect on what they see and what they hear, even from us. My own children have challenged me when I've said things that would limit them, and they go, No, mom, I can do it. There was a time my son wanted to take a very difficult exam. He was 13, and I said to him, Why put yourself through that? And he says, Mom, I can do this. You always tell me that I'm limitless. So, what are you saying now? Are you saying I can't? And I went, No, no, no, you can. And he did, and he passed with such high grades. When the lady spoke to me about this quote by Miangelo, and she said this can be quite difficult for someone whose parents have been telling them that they can't, they're stupid, they're not able, or they're not capable. Yes, it will take time, but it doesn't have to be difficult because you see, once we believe it's difficult, then it will be difficult. It will take time because what you're doing is rewiring your brain, you're changing pathways, you're giving your brain a different message from what you've been given it before, but it can be done. We know from science that the brain can be rewired. Our experiences from birth, our experiences from childhood, from what our parents said, from what our teachers said, from what friends have said, from what we've seen, from things we've heard, have all been wired into our brain. But we can rewire them, we can change those pathways because whatever you give your brain is what it uses, and it uses what it already has to create new ones. So no matter what the situation is, you can rise. I love my tagline, which I always tell people become limitless, you are limitless. Set your goals high. One of the people I coach and mentor said to me, I don't like setting goals because when I don't achieve them, it makes me feel worse. I feel really anxious, I get really upset and depressed, so I don't like setting goals. And I said, That's because you look at it as a negative. When you set high goals, there's no way you can set those goals, take the actions you need to check, keep reviewing your actions that you will not rise higher, you will not move forward from where you are. It's not possible. Now, you might not get to the that highest goal that you've set, but you would definitely move higher, you definitely move forward, and each time you move forward, celebrate it, make yourself actually appreciate what you've done. Review what you need to do differently, or adjust or add to keep moving higher, and keep celebrating each day and each win. As you're doing this, you're releasing dopamine in your brain, you're getting the pleasure, you're celebrating your wins, you're releasing the dopamine which makes you happy, you're releasing serotonin, which even makes you more happy. And guess what? That helps motivate you further, that helps motivate your brain further, and then you want to do more, you want to push further, and that's what will enable you to achieve those high goals. Nothing you do is wasted. When I had to close the business and I thought that was it, see today, like I said, it's not wasted, nothing is wasted, no experience is wasted unless you waste it. So, no matter what people say, that's their life. What of yours? Where are you going? Where do you want to go? Focus on you rising, focus on where you want to go. A lot of people that I work with, the reason they come to me is because they have all the ideas, they've done all the planning, they've done all the researching, but they can't move forward because they're afraid. And my question really is what are you afraid of? Shame that it did not work. What is shame? Shame is when you're concerned really about what other people think about you. Because that's exactly how I felt. What are people saying about me? What people think about me. In fact, not even what do I think? People said it to my face. They said it, oh, I knew it won't work. People said such nasty things to my face about me, but you know what? It's when you allow it to become shameful that it becomes shameful. But I chose to rise. It was a choice. Why are you so bothered about what other people think about you? Live your life and let them live theirs. Yes, people can give you advice, reflect on it, take what you need to take that will help you keep moving forward and discard the ones that you don't need. Your brain would use exactly what you give it. If you tell your brain you can't, well then yes, you can't. Because what it would do is it will show you every reason why you can't. And like I said, when my friend gave me all the reasons why I couldn't, that's exactly what my brain gave me. It showed me all the reasons, even gave me more reasons why I couldn't do it. But immediately I changed that to no, I can do this because I know there are people out there that need to hear me. Then my brain switched immediately to give me reasons why I should do it. Be in control of your own brain. Don't let your brain keep doing its own thing because you see, what it's doing is using the information that you've already given it. I always tell people say the mind is a real estate in your brain, and in the mind is the thoughts, the experiences you have. It's only working with what you've given it. So change what you're giving your brain, and it will change your behavior, your actions. No matter what challenges you face or change that comes your way, look at them as opportunity to grow, an opportunity to learn. And when opportunities then come, you'll be able to achieve them. What is it you want to be? Do you want to go into leadership? Do you want to become a senior leader? Do you want to become a director? Do you want to become a CEO in your industry? Do you want to become an entrepreneur? Do you want to open your own business? Do you want to start working from home? Do you want to do something on it virtually? Do you want to change careers? Do you want to change jobs? What is it you want to do? Decide on what you want to do. Have your goals set of what you want to do. Always say it's it's really important to also have somebody that can mentor you, somebody that can help you along the way so that when your brain starts triggering all those negatives that it had before, you have someone that can help redirect you or even direct you to what you need to do, skills you need to take, or who to speak to, or what to do. And for me, basically, the key is the awareness, it's being aware of what's going on in your brain because it's the awareness that then enables you to take the appropriate action. My Angelo's poem it speaks resilience because life is full of changes every day. There's a new change, a new challenge, but it's how you look at it that makes the difference. A lot of people suffer from anxiety now, worry. Why? Because of what you've given your brain. Your brain only works with what you've given it. Change the information you're giving your brain, change what you accept. People can say things, anybody can say anything, you cannot control what people say, but you can control what you accept, and that's what makes the difference. You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes. No matter what people say to you, no matter what people tell you you are, you know who you are, you know where you're going, you know what you want to achieve. You only have one life. Live your own life and live it well. Still, I'll rise. Problems will come, challenges will come, but still, I'll rise. People might say that I can't, people can say that I shouldn't, but still I'll rise. Tell yourself that, believe it, and you see, tell yourself once, and your brain will say, Oh yeah, no, no way. Oh yeah, right. What are you talking about? Keep telling your brain, change the context of what you already have, because it's the repetition that rewires the brain. Yes, it will take time. When you started driving, you didn't learn to drive in a day. It took you a few lessons and practices to be able to drive. Even after you passed your test, you are not an expert. It's the same thing. When you start changing what you're telling yourself, when you start changing what is already wired into your brain, your brain sees it as new. So it takes time. But the more you keep doing it, the more you're practicing, the more you keep repeating the thoughts, the more you're going down that positive lane, the more the negative comes up and you rewire it, you change the meaning, you change what you're telling yourself. Then at a point, that's what the brain knows, because then your brain is rewired, it becomes a habit. Your brain identifies with it more, and that's when it starts showing you more things relating to what you're believing in. So that even when people say what you used to believe before, your brain goes, No, I don't know that. This is what I know. You can do it. You are more than able, you are an overcomer. The same way you learn to ride a bike and it took your time. That's the same way your brain is being rewired, and it takes time. But you know that one day you'll be able to drive, one day you'll be able to ride a bike properly, one day your brain would believe what you want it to believe. The brain is just like a muscle. You go to the gym, you walk out, we train, you use your weights to build your muscle. That's exactly what you're doing with the brain. The brain is a muscle that needs to be trained. Train your brain, own your brain, be in control of your brain. Don't let your brain be a dumping ground where people just come and dump anything they want and you accept it. No, own yourself, be in control of the brain. Because we can't see our brain, we kind of leave it to do its own thing. No, take that control back and believe and live your life the way you want to live it. Still, I'll rise. In the book of Micah 7, it says, Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy. When I fall, I shall arise. When I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me. When I saw this verse, I was just so excited because it really just aligns scripture and science. In life, there are times you will fall, but arise. What this says to me is that I will arise because I am an overcomer, because I know I'm limitless, even when I fall. It's not permanent, it's just a temporal situation, and that's what enables the brain to remain calm and see opportunities when they come. And it says here, when I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me. And it's being able to really connect to God, to connect to that higher power, so that you know that even when things really get tough, even when it looks bleak, you know that there is help and there is hope. It really reminds me when I had to close my business, and I felt as if I was in total darkness. I literally felt as if I was at the bottom of a hole, and I just did not know how to get out of that hole. I felt helpless. The change came when I truly understood that I had the choice to get out of that hole. And the choice I made was to change my mindset. And I told myself there are people who have gone through worse and survived and come out. I'm going to come out of this. What that does in the brain is it's aligning my spirit with the spirit of God, that's what it means by the light, because then the light shines, and that's knowledge, that's understanding, that's wisdom, that then lets you know what next action you need to take. And for me, it was knowing what I now needed to do next, and that light is what brings hope, is what gives you motivation to then take the right actions that will now lead you where you need to go. And for me, that's what has now led me to do what I'm now doing, and it was just taking one step at a time, so it's so important to make sure that we move the brain out of the emotional place of anxiety, and so that the conscious brain is activated, and that is why I wrote the online course on emotional intelligence for leaders. Every single person is a leader. I always say this. So that course is for anyone who wants to learn how to be in control of their brain, for everyone that is ready to just get back into the driver's seat of their life and achieve the goals you want to achieve and not let the emotional brain keep driving you to stress, to worry, to fear. If you are ready to take the steps that you need to take to achieve those great goals that you have, those big dreams that you have for yourself, then this course is for you. Thank you once again for tuning in and remember that one of the biggest challenges facing individuals, facing leaders, business owners today is fear. Fear of the unknown, it's uncertainty about the future and about life, it's also the inability to overcome challenges. So if you want to learn more about how you can rise in spite of obstacles, challenges, complexities of life, the ambiguity facing organizations, businesses, and individuals, and even work today, do visit the mindsightacademy.com where you will find courses that can help you. My latest course on emotional intelligence for leaders is an exceptionally great course that will equip you with the skills you need to rise higher, to control the emotional center of your brain, to enable you to take the appropriate actions to achieve excellence. My aim in this podcast is to enable you to achieve your best, to enable you to flourish and exceed expectations. So I hope you've enjoyed this podcast. Three things before we finish today. Remember to subscribe to this podcast. If you haven't, click the subscribe button wherever you listen to this podcast so that you know when new episodes are released. Please also leave a review or comment. Finally, don't miss out on the bonus discount code I'm giving listeners for the Emotional Intelligence course. I'll leave the code in the description. Grab your code now. There are limited places and it's also for a limited time. So grab that code and enroll on the Emotional Intelligence online course. I look forward to seeing you in the academy. Now, I do wish you a fantastic week and I look forward to seeing you in the next episode. See you soon.