The Power of Self-Discovery

Maureen 0:00

Welcome and thank you for tuning in into Lead to Excel podcast , the hub where science meets leadership and transformation begins . I'm your host , Maureen Chiana , founder of the Mindsight Academy , a trailblazer in the world of neuroleadership , an executive neurocoach , leadership transformer and a neuroscience enthusiast dedicated to empowering leaders , entrepreneurs , changemakers and Christians just like you to excel and thrive in every area of your life . This week , we're going to kick off with another high-impact episode diving into the topic . That is powerful , intriguing and has the potential to shift your leadership journey . So it's time to put on your thinking caps , grab your favorite beverage , get comfortable and let's dive in .

Maureen 1:04

Hello and welcome back to Lead to Excel podcast . I am so excited today , and today is a different kind of podcast , because normally you have me interviewing a guest or I'm going solo , but today I'm not solo and I'm not interviewing any guests , but rather I have Dr Blessing E with me , who is going to be interviewing me . So this will be interesting today . So if you've ever wondered who Maureen Tiana is , if you've ever wanted to know more about me , well , today you're in for a treat , because I have given her no script and I have given her free reign to ask me any question . So get your drink and relax and enjoy this podcast . Thank you so much , Dr Blessing Enakimia . Welcome back to another episode . You've been here before , but in a different capacity , so over to you .

Dr Blessing 2:17

Well , thank you very much . It's a pleasure to be here and I count it as a privilege to have the power to control your podcast today . Let's get straight into it . Who is Maureen ?

Maureen 2:33

Oh wow you have gone straight into it .

Dr Blessing 2:38

Yes , tell us .

Maureen 2:40

Who is Maureen . So Maureen is a limitless lady . Maureen is a child of God , really loves God . Maureen is a wife , a mother to two grown adults . Actually , that is crazy to even think about .

Dr Blessing 3:02

Yes , it is .

Maureen 3:04

Maureen is curious , adventurous . Maureen loves impacting knowledge . She loves her rest . Maureen loves her self-care . Maureen doesn't have time for rubbish and time wasters . So that is me in a nutshell . Maureen is fun , maureen is fun and Maureen loves dancing .

Dr Blessing 3:35

These are all good descriptions , I suppose attributes and I suppose of Maureen . But at the core , if I were to Maureen you , at the core of it all , at the heart of it all , what do you stand for ? What's your voice for ?

Maureen 3:58

My voice is for being able to understand who I am , helping others understand who they are through our biology and physiology . At the core , it's really being able to live a purposeful life , being able to be in control , to be intentional about what I'm thinking , what I'm doing , but also helping others do the same . So it's being able to truly live a life that God has ordained me and other people to live . So it's helping others understand it , but also helping myself live it every day . Okay .

Dr Blessing 4:51

Did you always believe this ? Has this been your norm ?

Maureen 4:59

Do you know ? I've thought about that question or the answer to that question myself quite a lot , about that question or the answer to that question myself quite a lot , and I've not always known what I know now , obviously . But I've always been curious about people , about how people behave . I've always been a people watcher , even from right , when I was a kid . You know that curiosity has always been there . I've always fought for fairness . I've always loved fairness anywhere , anywhere I am . But this concept of understanding the brain and being able to live that life , the brain and being able to live that life , I would say it's quite new but it is transitioned . But understanding that I have this more to me has always been there , even as a child . And actually , you know , depending on how this conversation goes , I'll attribute that to my mom and we see how this conversation goes , I'll attribute that to my mom . The ability to truly understand that I can do anything I want has always been there and that has guided my journey through life .

Dr Blessing 6:16

Okay , let's dial way back to whenever you can remember . You know what's your earliest , fondest memory of yourself as your true self ?

Maureen 6:29

when was the first time you met warren , you know I would probably say that it was when I was in primary school . I had gone back to Nigeria and I was in primary school and I was being bullied quite a lot and my mom was the one that said to me stand up to the bullies , you know who you are . And she said you're a child of God , you've got boldness , you know something , not this this was not how direct was , but it was linked to God and boldness and the other thing she said is that don't let them control you . It was something in that , in in that life , and that was when okay , she said it quite a few times , but it was when I actually took the action of standing up to the biggest bully I could ever remember . That I would say that was when probably got introduced to myself , because from then on I really stood up for anyone that I saw that was being bullied .

Maureen 7:42

I did not keep quiet , I would stand up , I would fight , I would talk . I would do well , not physically fighting , because I always ran away from that . Actually , because I always remember when I challenged someone like she said wait for me at the end of school today , then I would deal with you . I said you deal with me . I said I will still deal with you . And at the end of school I knew my driver was coming to pick me . So I kept stalling and stalling and at the end I saw a driver and I could see her coming . I said honestly , you're so lucky . If that driver hadn't come , if he hadn't come on time , I would have still dealt with you and literally ran into the car , ran away . So I had mouth . So I'm not surprised that I'm actually doing a lot of speaking , because I could talk , I could defend myself , I could stand up for myself , but I couldn't fight .

Dr Blessing 8:34

Okay , you're a lover , not a fighter , okay , okay . So primary school that experience did you have anything else around then that kind of highlighted to you that I had power to do something ?

Maureen 9:10

And that was when I mentioned it in the podcast I did previously and when I wanted . When I was meant to go into secondary school , I was going to take exams and I because I had already lost , I think , two years or so because we were traveling a lot came from the UK to Nigeria had stayed in different states . I was actually quite behind . So I did not want to go into primary six and I knew that God was more than able to help me do that . But I knew that by prayer and by my hard work it was possible and I prayed so hard and worked so tirelessly to ensure that I passed the common entrance .

Maureen 9:56

I literally was praying almost every you know , 3 pm 12 noon , I was praying . I'll literally go into my room , lock the door and pray and then study , and study , and study and I ended up passing all the exams and I think that was one of the first times I remember the capability that I had within me to achieve what I wanted . Now also , when I was in secondary school , we went boarding school and the food we were being served was so bad that I literally led a protest protesting about the food , and we marched . I got people to walk with me , and we marched around the dining hall protesting and refusing to eat the food , but I did pay the consequences later though , so of course you would .

Dr Blessing 10:52

Of course you would . And what did that do have the consequences ? Did that change your self-belief by any chance ?

Maureen 10:59

no , it didn't . Actually , it didn't . It probably even reinforced it , because I was so proud to have served that punishment , because , at the end of the day , I really believed in what we were standing for , which was to be given better quality food . Did they give us better quality food after ? No , but the fact that we did what we did really helped me , and I could see that trend through my career as well , in the sense that if something wasn't going where I felt it should go , I could always stand up for myself or stand up for others .

Dr Blessing 11:38

OK , but then let's go back to the example about the match in the dining hall . Example about the match in the dining hall when you didn't get the outcome you wanted isn't that a sign of failure , or do you have a different definition of failure ?

Maureen 11:55

You see , then I didn't actually see it as failure . I actually saw it as success that we had , we raised our voices , the fact that we did something about it . So I actually did not see it as failure , which is interesting . You add that , because if I did , it would have , you know , kind of halted me from probably taking actions later . But no , actually I was so proud of what we did , I was so proud of that , so no , I was so proud of what we did , I was so proud of that , so no , I didn't . I think the first time that I would say I experienced failure was when I set up the salon and had to close it . But that's as a matter of childhood .

Maureen 12:43

As a child no , I never called it failure . You know things that I had experienced . For example , when I wanted to study medicine so badly it was . Well , I wanted to study law my mom talked me out of it that all lawyers would go to hell because they lie , so exactly . So that put me off because I didn't want to go to hell . So I then decided it would be medicine .

Maureen 13:13

But then I didn't get into medicine because through my A-levels I didn't study as much as I should have done . So I did not get the grades and did not go into medicine . I was disappointed . But I went into biomedical sciences , which at the time was known as medical laboratory technology . And when I start , okay , the plan was started and then changed to medicine . But when I did start to medicine but when I did start I never changed again I kind of really , you know , enjoyed it and continued . I was disappointed . But again , in that circumstance I knew that it was my fault because if I had studied harder , if I had put in the effort , I probably would have still gotten into medicine . I don't know . But again you say that what ? That I knew that , um , I had a role to play in me not getting into medicine at that point .

Maureen 14:13

I really can't actually figure out any time in my younger years that I attributed anything to being a failure , or me being a failure no , blame myself yes , shame attached to it no , um , and maybe I didn't have time to feel the shame because I really needed to get into uni . So I was so focused on what I needed to do to get in and I have never shied away from asking . So I did reach out to people . You know I had an uncle that was at a university . I said ask if you could help me . You know , so I've never shied the one .

Maureen 15:13

In fact that's how I actually ended up studying biomedical sciences , because I reached out to an uncle who was in Joss at the time . He said that yes , he could help , that that he's the one actually introduced me to the , to the biomed , because I had I didn't even anything about it . So I I wouldn't say I felt I didn't feel shame and I maybe that was like I said , I didn't even anything about it . So I I wouldn't say I felt I didn't feel shame and I maybe that was like I said , I didn't have time to feel shame , so it was kind of okay , what's the solution ? What do I do ? Because I I had to get into uni , because I had spent two years doing A levels , so I really had nothing else to do . I had to get into university , yeah , okay what was life like as a university student ?

Dr Blessing 15:52

for you , it was fun .

Maureen 15:54

It was so much fun because I was in just and then I had friends . You know a lot of quite a few close friends that I had that were in secondary school together um , so it was absolutely fun . I had a lovely time . First few years I was . I was , you know , having too much fun , but then did settle down to focus on my work and no , it was really good and the experience was fantastic . You know , doing the biomedical sciences , really learning a lot about the human body , and it really opened my eyes to so much that I could do a lot with the degree . So now I found it really good and it did help because I then ended up specializing in medical microbiology . But so when I finished from just , I went to EFA to specialize , to finish the degree there . So that was great as well . So , yeah , it was a fantastic experience . Great memories about uni .

Dr Blessing 17:35

What would you say you've gained from your university experience as relevant to the work you do now ?

Maureen 17:41

I would say it's the course , because when we studied biomedical sciences , we were very close to those studying medicine , so we got to experience working with cadavers . These are preserved dead bodies , so it was almost like I was doing what I wanted , but in a different scope . It was really good . I think the interesting thing was just understanding how the human body worked fascinated me , and doing this course enabled me to still achieve that . So that was the key thing for me In a way , really understanding how the body functions , why it does what it does , how those different things always fascinated me . I would say that was the key thing . Working with the cadavers with was really fun for me . While others were scared , I was so fascinated why ? I suppose it's seeing it life , because you read it in textbooks that the kidney is here , the blood vessels are here and all the but seeing it in a real , in a human being , I found so fascinating . So while other people were going , oh oh , I was oh , wow . So yeah , I really enjoyed that .

Dr Blessing 18:58

OK , let's fast forward to you . Finished university . What was your first ?

Maureen 19:03

job . First job was working in a lab in Lagos and in a microbiology

Navigating Solo in Microbiology Lab

Maureen 19:10

lab . That was an experience and a half actually , because I was working in the lab and we had to call . The lab was predominantly almost like a fertility lab , but it wasn't meant to be , but somehow that was the direction it was going . So we had to . We analyzing sperm counts and different a lot of sperm counting , and that also fascinated me , seeing the sperm's life and analyzing it . But I think what freaked me out most more was when my boss at the time then said I had to help a patient collect the sample and I'm going , excuse me . And he said , yes , that you go into the room and the things are you'd and I'm going , okay , I'm out of here . And that was how I resigned and walked away because .

Maureen 20:05

But the experience else going to do that , but the experience was good so I didn't last there . After that , actually , I left Nigeria and came to Nigeria , okay .

Dr Blessing 20:13

And what was your first job here ?

Maureen 20:15

So first job here was in a lab in Kent here and that was also working in microbiology and that was good and I think the experience I had picked up from Nigeria really helped me a lot because it was a small lab attached to a small private hospital but also affiliated with an NHS hospital . So I kind of got to experience the NHS and the private sector in one and it was fantastic . There was a lot of pressure because I was the only one in microbiology and we had to do quality assessments monthly and that was always intense because if you didn't get it right they could close the department . So that kept me on my team because you can't afford to give patients wrong results . The unfortunate thing was I was alone .

Maureen 21:09

If I had somebody else , it's easy to then say what do you think here , but I was literally on my own in microbiology . So that was intense . But I would say I'm so proud of myself and so grateful to God that throughout my stay there we kept passing the quality assessment consistently . So that was great . And then it was when I was there I also did my master's in microbiology and the reason I did it in microbiology was I had specialized in medical and I wanted to give myself a broader scope . So I then did general microbiology , which ended up being a lot of botany , which is plant pathology , and all that . So I ended up having both . So that was interesting , yeah .

Dr Blessing 22:01

Okay , and let's just unpack for a minute . You said you were the solo person there doing the microbiology , and let's talk about that . How did you cope with that mentally , with knowing what you know about the brain ? Now , how , what were your mechanisms on a daily basis and on an annual basis , considering the weight you were carrying ?

Maureen 22:25

yeah , interesting it interesting . It's an interesting question . Do you know that there are two ? You know , looking back , there are two things there . It is that there was the pressure of getting it right , but actually I thrived on that , which is what about the ?

Dr Blessing 22:45

fear of getting it wrong , because that coexists With the pressure of getting it right . Exists the fear of getting it wrong Because that coexists with the pressure of getting it right exists the fear of getting it wrong .

Maureen 23:07

So , but what ? One thing that I made sure of was repeating , repeating it , you know . So , basically , you can do the fast route of doing a few analysis , but what I did is I gave myself every chance to get it right . So I made sure that , instead of doing the minimum analysis , I did the maximum analysis that I could do . So it did cost the lab a bit more , but it actually helped me to be able to get the best result , because it's almost like you do all the analysis , then you can look back and then , so that even if they came back to say it was wrong , I could defend my results . Okay , if that makes sense . So , do you see ? So the the fear of getting it wrong wasn't too high . Um , because I had done literally every . You know , I've done it by the book , done everything that needed to be done , and checked and cross-checked to ensure that I got it right . So , yeah , and also what ? Because I said we're also affiliated with the NHS hospital . If I was very unsure , I would connect with my colleagues at the hospital so that we could , you know , get the opinion . So I always made sure , and that's why I said I've never shied away from asking . I will ask and re-ask and use all the resources that I had . And I you know , now that you know know I actually hadn't thought of it this way , but it's something I kind of now realize I had always done and that really helped .

Maureen 24:55

Where do you think that came from ? Where do I think it came from ? The only place I can really think it came from was the way is maybe my upbringing , in the sense that my parents allowed me to challenge them , if that makes sense . I could ask questions , I could disagree . My mom didn't like it particularly , but she would respond to my challenging what she's saying . So it may be that was where it came from . So I was able to ask and ask questions . If I did not , even if she was telling me off for something that she felt I did wrong and I felt I didn't do wrong , I would ask questions and keep refusing , or just I'll keep going till I kind of got what I wanted , in a way , and I probably that was why I always felt I would be a great lawyer .

Dr Blessing 26:04

Okay , do you find , did you find through your career , in the years where you worked for others , did you see that same trait in play ? Can you think of any time when , maybe , that ?

Maureen 26:17

happened . Yes , that happened quite a few times , you know , I remember when I was working in research . So , after working in the lab and I left , I ended up working in research . So , after working in the lab and I left , I ended up working in research , and you know it was part of me starting my PhD as well . And the second place I worked

Overcoming Challenges and Career Growth

Maureen 26:43

I noticed , you know , I wasn't treated well . I was literally not allowed to do any experiments and most of the time it literally was just Maureen can you get the bin Maureen clear , the bin Maureen bin . It was terrible .

Maureen 26:55

And I kept saying that , see , I'm not here to be emptying the bins , I'm here to be part of the research , so I need to be involved in it . Yes , later , you know , you need to stay here for a bit longer . And I said , but let me be doing the other things that I could do before , because I'd worked in research before I had come into this particular one . He , he wasn't allowing me do much , the person I was working with , and so I went to his boss , who actually employed me , spoke to that professor and kept going back . You know we said , okay , try this , try this , try .

Maureen 27:32

You know I kept going back and I then noticed that he wasn't doing what I wanted either , and I realized that if I continued this way , I could be in this job for three years , not start the PhD , not move any further in my career . So I did , you know , search out other people that I could speak to to find out , okay , what other people's experiences who could help me speak to this person . When I knew that there was not , that I wasn't getting anywhere , I then resigned and left . Yeah , so I think that and it's played out a lot in my career , where I've never shied away from asking for help or speaking up for myself- and you've resigned .

Dr Blessing 28:17

You said but have you ever lost a job where you were probably fired from a job ?

Maureen 28:23

I've never been fired , no , no . What about your role being made redundant ? I had an experience when I was . I was working somewhere I don't want to mention the name of the company because it's still here and I was the main . Then I was working in IT and I was the main IT person on one of the sites .

Maureen 28:48

Eventually they brought because I then I kept asking for help . I said I needed help and they brought in help and this was a white male person who wasn't that experienced . So I trained him on the role and then , when I was on maternity leave , they re-advertised my role , which was you know , and I found that quite interesting . So I had to come and interview for my role and it was given to this white male colleague of mine and before then I had noticed what my boss was doing . You know , most of the time he'll be in meetings . He won't invite me for meeting , which was weird and I did bring it up . Now I don't understand why I'm not being invited into meetings , but the person that reports to me is being invited into meetings . This was when I was pregnant and so when I went on maternity leave , you know , now I suppose they can't do that because they will . But yeah , they did re-advertise my job and he got it and I came back , did my three months and left .

Dr Blessing 29:58

OK , let's unpack that . So in the moment , go back to that moment . What were your feelings at that point about yourself ? Because that's what I'm interested in .

Maureen 30:09

Okay , about me personally .

Dr Blessing 30:11

Yes , not the situation of yourself .

Maureen 30:14

About the situation . I was hurt . I felt discriminated against . You're probably going to the point of did it affect my self-worth ?

Dr Blessing 30:26

I didn't say that you tell me what you're thinking .

Maureen 30:33

I'm a mind reader . Did it impact my self-worth ? I don't think so . I was so confident in myself that it didn't impact my self-worth . No , I just saw myself being discriminated against as a black woman , pregnant , and then just pushed to the side . That was how .

Dr Blessing 30:59

I saw it and what conclusion did you draw ? What was your narrative around that time , in that season of your life ?

Maureen 31:05

The narrative was you know it was a bias , it was discrimination . You know I'd seen it happen so many times . It happened to me , which wasn't fun , but it was more of . I'll show you . Okay , I'll show you . That was it . What did that mean ? What does that mean ? That I will go above all of you that put me down and I will do much better than I would even have ever done while I was there . Your life , where you experienced failure of some sort , is there been any beyond ?

Dr Blessing 31:40

beyond working for yourself in as an employee . Was there any experience ? Maybe maybe you've gone for an interview and you you thought , yes , I nailed this .

Maureen 32:00

Maybe you didn't get the job and you had those thoughts there are two situations I remember going for jobs I didn't get , and there were two reasons to it . One was the interview was going fantastic , absolutely great , and I mistakenly at the time then mentioned because I think I had a son then and I think they asked the question if I was planning to have more and I said , yes , yeah , exactly , and I could see interview just go , and that was it . So I didn't get that job and I knew why . And I because if I came out , even beating myself up , why did you say anything ? Why did oh , and all that anyway . And that was one .

Maureen 32:46

The other time that I went for an interview I didn't get that I felt I probably felt ashamed in a way . Well , someone had introduced me to the company , so I wanted to do so well , so well . So I prepared very well and I was so nervous , got in for that interview , they were asking me questions which I knew . I knew , but I couldn't remember the answers . I had an amygdala hijack , literally my brain was hijacked .

Maureen 33:20

Now I know what happened , but then I didn't . But I was so nervous that all the questions they were asking I couldn't remember the answer . And as I stepped out of that interview before I even got to the elevator . All the answers came flooding back and I kept going . But why did I not remember it while I was in there ? I couldn't understand it . Later , when I got into neuroscience , I understood what happened , that I felt really ashamed because the person that put me forward put me forward because he knew what I could do . He knew my capability and they had fed back . Obviously they fed back to him how bad or terrible I did .

Dr Blessing 34:03

So two questions what do you think caused the hijack , Can you remember ? And then second question how did you deal with the shame ? So what caused the hijack , Can you remember ? And then second question how did you deal ?

Maureen 34:09

with the shame . So what caused the hijack ? I wanted to do so well because of the person that had introduced me . That was it . Was that an expectation I would say expectation and my reputation as well , an expectation of myself to do well because of the person but also my reputation , so that I don't look silly , you know . So I look good . That was what caused it . How did I deal with it later ? I did avoid the person for a while because I did feel ashamed , really , that I didn't , because I think it's not so much that I didn't get it , but there was probably feedback to him . That simple answer she couldn't even get . So I think that's where the shame came . So he then would probably be looking at me differently , that I thought she knew much . So , yes , so that was it , and I never had that conversation with him because I knew him . But I wouldn't say we're that close to have that conversation .

Dr Blessing 35:14

Have you still not had the conversation since then ?

Maureen 35:17

I never did . I never did , but we still connected because we still met each other , still met up socially , still came to each other's house , but never brought it up .

Dr Blessing 35:27

Oh goodness me . If you were to bring it up now , what would you say ?

Maureen 35:31

Oh , I'll explain what happened . Yeah , I'll definitely explain what happened . I laugh oh yeah , oh yeah , I'm okay now , even now I can laugh about it ?

Dr Blessing 35:41

Is it because you know what happened ?

Maureen 35:43

Yes , yes , I think it's because I know better . I'm older , I suppose , but now I can laugh about it because , yes , I definitely , because I know better . I know and I know what happened there .

Dr Blessing 35:58

Yeah , OK , let's fast forward back to the exciting part of entrepreneurship . Tell me , you saw a problem , you saw a gap in the market and you decided , yes , I'm best positioned , I can do this , I know myself , I'm positive about me . Yay , yay , yay . And then you went into hairdressing .

Maureen 36:18

Tell me about that all those things you said , I don't think maybe just one was real . Because , because , because , okay , well , I , I won't say I was not a hair , I wasn't a hairdresser , I don't even like doing hair . I'm still not a hairdresser . I don't like doing hair , um , but yes , I did see a gap in the market and someone had said why not , why don't you do it ? And I went well , initially I went no way , but then I think I've told this story how someone the same person then came the next day with that book .

Maureen 37:02

If you want to walk on water , you've got to step out of the boat . And remember , I said that I have never been afraid of challenges . I've always embraced challenges because I know the God I serve . So , when you're giving me a book , if you want to work , yes , I want to work on water , like Peter . So , yes , I will . You know what , I will do it . And I prayed about it . I felt , yeah , go for it . And what I am sure God has said go for it . You know what ? Nothing , nothing can hold me back , and I think that's how my life has always been .

Maureen 37:36

So I did go for it and , um , I couldn't do hair and that wasn't the . You know , for me , it was really a place for women to come relax and be pampered , and that was our slogan relax and be pampered and that was the vision really . So , and the interesting thing is what I found , what I really wanted was a place where women could come and relax , open up , talk , and that was what happened . You know , women came , they would open up about their , their problems , and I'll be there counseling or encouraging , and then they would leave feeling wonderful with their new look and feeling great and confident , and that gave me so much joy . So , yes , in that aspect , yeah , but and because I had been doing consultancy work all that time , I thought that I knew enough , as opposed to open a business like that , um , but it was a completely different .

Dr Blessing 38:45

yeah okay , what's that ? What's the blank fill ?

Maureen 38:50

it in . It was a completely different , unexpected experience because I learned so much and there was so much I . I realized that there's so much I did not know . Um , I've always loved excellence , so when we were setting it up , my husband and I really wanted to have a place of excellence , so we went for the best . When we got the building , we renovated it . It was a Japanese theme . It's very relaxing . It was lilac and it was great . I had a telephone system , things I didn't really need . It was great . I had a telephone system , things I didn't really need , putting so much money into it , invested so much , thinking that everyone thought like me , you know , because what I love is that greatness , quality , wonderful , you know . Oh yeah , and I . That's what I created .

Dr Blessing 39:50

So I literally created a salon for myself yeah , but that's the major thing in business is when , as entrepreneurs , you design for you . It's a good way to start because you're likely to attract yourself , but you also have to pay attention to the market . You're designing for and designing with the user in mind , because you're very unlikely going to be the user . You have to consider that . Well , that's , that's something we all learn , isn't it in business ?

Dr Blessing 40:15

yeah , that was a big lesson okay , I'm interested in you and your brain in the space of hairdressing . Okay , so you're going through the exciting part of setting up . That's exciting . Talk about the middle . When it's not so exciting , we're not in trouble but just coasting . Where were you and who were you during those times ? Stressed ?

Maureen 40:44

Very , very stressed . Every month , I realized I had a huge responsibility of my staff because they had bills to pay , so I had to pay them . It's that constant planning and okay , what can we do next ? How can we bring in more clients ? So it was just constant go , go , go , go go . I didn't stop . I was exhausted , the adrenaline kept me going , the weight of the responsibility on me was huge and I wasn't expecting that . I think that was the key thing . So it was a case of what can I do ? You know how do I make this work ? What do I have to do to ensure that we keep going ?

Dr Blessing 41:31

And I know there's so much more to talk about , so I'm not going to dwell on this aspect . You went on and then you closed . Would we attribute this to failure ? Now , would Maureen say Maureen failed ?

Maureen 41:44

Yes , that was my narrative at the time and that was when I would say I experienced failure and probably the first time that I had identified something as being a failure . But I didn't just feel that the business failed , I felt I was a failure . Why ? The plans I had were huge , so I never thought that , you know , it wouldn't work . Because that was the mindset . I never imagined it would work . And I remember someone coming into the salon , maybe the day of the official launch , so maybe a month after we opened , and asked me what my exit strategy was . And I was so offended , absolutely offended . How dare you ask me what my exit strategy is ? There's no exit strategy . This is , this is going to work . So , to do all that , putting all that and it failed . It was very personal to me because I , yeah , I think it was just very personal . So I was a failure , the business failed .

Dr Blessing 42:51

How did you ?

Maureen 42:52

recover from that .

Dr Blessing 42:53

Or have you recovered from that ?

Maureen 42:55

Yeah , oh , definitely . The recovery really

Neuroplasticity and Emotional Intelligence

Maureen 42:58

came from the understanding that I then had about the brain , because after I closed it , a few months later my mom also passed away . So you know I've shared this story how I was at . A few months later , my mom also passed away . So I was . You know , I've shared this story how I was at a very low point . But it was in that low point that I heard someone speak Dr Caroline leave about who switched off your brain .

Maureen 43:24

After I worked in Laos for a few years , then I went to become a lecturer and I trained in education , became a lecturer , and while I was lecturing I was teaching in anatomy . So I understood the brain , understood the physiology , you know , and all that . But what she was saying was different . She was connecting brain to behavior and that fascinated me . It's almost like it gave me a second , almost boost of life or so , because I went researching , um , got into neuroscience , discovered emotional intelligence and also the the interesting thing of how this new science was confirming scripture , because it was all new when I was , even when I was teaching , we at the university we taught that the way your brain is at the age of 25 is the way it is for the rest of your life , because that's what we knew at the time . So to then discover that actually , no , there's new research coming out to say that the brain can keep rewiring .

Maureen 44:29

All our life was so new and that actually meant a lot more . And linking that to the emotional part , I then got to realize that the narrative I create , whatever I tell myself , becomes my reality . So if I identify as a failure , that is exactly who I , who I'll be . So that was when I then started changing the narrative and realized that no , I'm not a failure . The business failed , but I'm not a failure . And I always remember saying I don't see anything good that can come out of that experience . But it was when I then really got on to understand emotional intelligence that I realized that actually I learned a lot from the experience , so it wasn't a waste at all so you said it was a book you read .

Dr Blessing 45:26

Um , if you want to walk on water , you've got to come out of the boat that led you into hairdressing . Now you've had another lady who was talking about something to do with the brain , and now this sparked something in you . So , would you say , you've always been influenced by books , shall we say , or readings . What sort of intelligence attracts you ?

Maureen 45:51

yeah , I think reading . You know I've always been an avid reader and researcher . I've always , you know , even as a young girl , I could read three books in a day . You know I was , I loved reading . So researching and reading has always fascinated me and I suppose that was why research , I found research . So , if I let me go back , I suppose that is why I did not stay in hospital pathology , because I always felt it would be so boring doing the same thing over and over .

Maureen 46:26

While research , you never know what you're going to get each day . And that fascinated me . And the fact that I had to keep researching , reading , studying to understand the new things , that has always been something very fascinating to me . So , yes , I think I've always been curious , I've always loved researching , I've always loved reading . Even the way I studied , I realized that I wasn't the kind of person to study one book or just study a revision book . I had to really study about three books or four books and then relate them together to get to the real meaning . So I needed about four authors to really get to the depth of it , and that's how I've always been . Yeah .

Dr Blessing 47:15

Okay , so what would you say has been your greatest find in relation to what you're doing now ? What's the greatest revelation you found in your research ?

Maureen 47:23

The greatest find , I would say , is actually understanding how the brain works and the fact that it's consistently adapting , so that these neural pathways I would say it's purely neuroplasticity , neuroplasticity at the core of it , with the emotional brain , you know linked together . And that finding , I think , is just mind blowing , because it's so enlightening , it's so empowering , it's so liberating and it's the core of who we are . So linking those two with scripture is just the core of who we are and how we can live . So that's it for me .

Dr Blessing 48:09

So if the brain is a core of who we are , if we can rewire our brain , does that then mean we can change

Rewiring the Brain for Limitless Growth

Dr Blessing 48:16

who we are in essence ? Does that correlate ?

Maureen 48:21

Yes , yes , yes , we can change who we are , because a lot of how we are has come from our experiences . Our lives to the point at which we become aware of how we are , has come from our experiences , our lives to the point at which we become aware of who we are . And most times what we've taken into our brain is actually without our own knowledge . So , you know , parents feed kids information , teachers feed children information , the surroundings , church life , friends you know what friends say to you .

Maureen 48:52

I remember when people used to tell , surely , when I went to primary school and my accent was different and they would be mocking my accent at the time because it was very Yorkshire , you know , had a strong Yorkshire accent , so they would be mocking the accent and I became very conscious of how I spoke . All these things wire into us and they're very unconscious . So , yes , by the time you become aware of who you are , then the question then becomes who do I want to be , who does God say I am ? And aligning those two , yes , we can then change the way our brain is wired to become who we want to be .

Dr Blessing 49:35

What have you done for yourself , for your brain , with this information ?

Maureen 49:38

I've literally rewired my brain and I keep rewiring it anyway to keep stretching myself . Okay , one of the things that I even find interesting is I've always been , you know , like we've . You know we've discussed here fairness , fighting for my rights , or more in the activist . But one of the things that I've always shied away from doing is public speaking , you know , kind of coming out into a public and giving a talk . No , because at the core of who I am , I'm quite reserved , quiet in a way . So public speaking is not something that comes naturally . Yeah , exactly , so being able to rewire my own brain to the point that , honestly , you can get me in front of any crowd anywhere short notice , I'll talk .

Dr Blessing 50:32

We've talked about it a lot . What does that mean ? Is it like taking a cable ? Literally what is step-by-step ? How did you do that ?

Maureen 50:42

Yes , literally sticking a cable , because we have to keep shocking myself into who I want to be . In our brain we have to keep shocking myself into who I want to be . In our brain we have the neurons , which are the brain cells and how they are connected is the neural pathway and that is the wiring . So to be able to change that to who I want to be , I had to change those neural connections . How ? By what I tell myself , changing the narrative , the story I tell myself , but also being very aware of the thoughts I have , of what comes up for me , of what I say , what I speak about , also what I listen to , what I take in , so that , for example , public speaking is a typical one .

Maureen 51:31

When I go to speak , in fact , I remember someone telling me I speak so fast and then I started trying to speak very slowly and then that it doesn't flow . Each time I'm speaking I will hear that voice you speak so fast , people don't understand what you're saying . So I had to then change that narrative and go . You know what I'm going to try and slow down so that I don't really lose people , but I'm going to keep speaking , at least at a pace that is okay with me and just keeps slowing down , but not to the point that it becomes crippling for me . Not to the point that it becomes crippling for me . So I did take the feedback on board , but not to the extent my brain was taking it , almost like stopping me from speaking completely .

Maureen 52:19

Somebody has told me that I spoke like a warrior , so it's almost like I'm going into war and that also almost stopped me . But I then had to change that narrative . No , it's the passion . I'm passionate about what I'm saying . So it's not a warrior , it's passion . So I make sure I keep smiling when I speak . You know all these little things you have to keep doing to create the narrative you want . If not , these subtle things people throw about end up wiring in the brain and then directing the way I could become , and it happens so often .

Dr Blessing 52:58

Yeah , what's your greatest narrative , your highest ranking narrative , your script that runs in your head at the moment .

Maureen 53:07

You know that scripture of I can do all things through Christ is one that , whether you wake me up , even with my children , I've wired it into their own brain as well , and that really brings me to the place of that I am limitless . So anything I'm doing as the challenge comes , as the resistance comes , which the brain will always do , it's something that comes automatically now to me and it's a reminder that I can do all things . So then , questioning , should I be doing it ? Is it in line with what I want to do ? Is it where I'm going ? Then you know I answer all that and as long as it's all aligned , then you know I keep going Because I can rewire and do , and I think it's it . I can rewire and do what I need to do . Okay .

Dr Blessing 54:07

Your famous phrase is rewire , where your brain become limitless .

Maureen 54:12

The other slogan I love and this is one that I've had for a few years , and it was years ago when I read I think it's Isaiah or somewhere , I don't go , it's , it's um , um . To soar high like an eagle . You know where we mount up on wings like eagle . We say I can't remember the scripture but that actually led me to holding on to that aspect of being able to soar high . You really soar high like an eagle , and I went to research how an ego soars . It's .

Dr Blessing 54:48

To me it's always an encouragement , okay I was going to ask you about your , why your brain to become limitless ? How do you apply that yourself ?

Maureen 54:58

basically what I've said , in the sense that anything I'm doing , it's remembering that the brain will resist anything new . The brain will resist anything uncertain , so it's now ensuring that I don't allow my unconscious brain to hold me back . So it's now doing those things that are uncomfortable . Being uncomfortable it shouldn't stop me . Being uncomfortable is actually a sign that I'm growing .

Maureen 55:30

And it's so interesting how we talk a lot about procrastination , we talk a lot about self-sabotage , but that's the brain doing its job . So , for me , when I find myself procrastinating , when I find myself self-sabotaging , I stop myself immediately . And this is where that emotional intelligence becomes so key that awareness is always checking in , making sure that I'm being intentional about what I'm doing , so that the brain isn't the one ruling my life , basically . But I am the one in control and not the memories , the memories that are stored in the brain being the one driving me , because our subconscious is what drives us most of the time , 95% of what we do . But I need to flip that in the sense that if I'm doing something , I need to be very alert and aware that I'm in control .

Dr Blessing 56:30

What's your greatest achievement to date ?

Maureen 56:33

You , you are one of my greatest achievements , because when I started , that's what I was expecting .

Dr Blessing 56:45

That's a good one . I was like what did I ask ? Was that my subconscious brain asking a question ? What's she saying ?

Maureen 57:01

Okay , yes , you are one of my greatest achievements and I'll tell you why . Because when I started this journey in fact , I've known you before I started this journey of rewiring the brain and when I started , you were there and it's almost like you became my yeah , but maybe tool , because , you see , as I was saying it , you were doing it and the fact is that at the beginning , I was talking a lot , I was , you know , there was a lot of jumbled things as I was learning . I was so excited I was doing , you took it on and you use it and you , you know , and I see , it's almost like I it's apart from me doing it and seeing , and okay , I use it at work and all that but you literally take it , use it , and then I'm seeing , I'm seeing how there is , the results it's achieving , and it really you probably don't even know this it's encouraged me . So so much because I'm going , god , this works , it really really works .

Maureen 58:06

Surely , when I see , um , the difference it's making in your own life , and I think one of the places I mentioned this once I mentioned this at our retreat when we did it that there was something you did . I'm not going to go into detail , because this podcast is me , yes , but you , I came for something . You did one of the events you ran and I was literally in tears just watching you and you were putting all the things you had learned about the brain , the emotional brain , the rewiring the brain , into practice and it just , you know , I was seeing it live . You are one of my greatest achievements .

Dr Blessing 58:47

Do I get an award , then , for being your greatest achievement ? Do you give me a certificate ?

Maureen 58:51

Yes ,

Empowering Women for Limitless Growth

Maureen 58:52

I will give you , I'll give you a certificate .

Dr Blessing 58:57

Oh , my God , that's thrown me . Okay , my next question , Right , maureen , today go back to your Maureen of your childhood and say something to her . What would that be ?

Maureen 59:11

Maureen , life can get quite tough , life can be quite unpredictable . But don't be rattled , you'll be fine , just be you . Do you Hold on to , to what you know , what you believe in ? Hold on to the promises god has given ? You are limitless okay , good one .

Dr Blessing 59:55

Thank you , president . Maureen now present . Maureen , you need to speak to future maureen . Before you do that , what is next for maureen ?

Maureen 1:00:05

what's next for maureen now ? Maureen has set up the Mindsight Women's Network for female leaders and business owners , and we set this up last year . So we are now incorporate scripture into the neuroscience and emotional intelligence and we've just celebrated one year , which is fantastic . So the next phase now is really expanding this network so that we can reach more women and give them the tools that they need to really soar high , because a lot of women are struggling in . It's almost like struggling in darkness , the unknown , not knowing what they have or what they can do . So I'm just looking forward to helping so many women and parents . So when you're giving women the tools , the knowledge , so that they can go out and do extraordinary things . Also , one thing that I've put off for so many years is writing , authoring books . That is going to be the next step . So watch this space . The first one is not far off , okay , and it will be exceptional .

Dr Blessing 1:01:26

I'm sure it will be . It can't be anything less than that . Okay , there's one thing I want to really ask about your , your mind side store . Where did that come from ? Why I've got so many questions ? Just where did they come from ? Let's start from there , because I think it's the evil . You have to trade . You need markets , do you know ?

Maureen 1:01:51

the only way , because I am from Anambra and you are from Abia , abia and Abia is where Aba is . So , for those who are not from Nigeria , there's a huge market in Aba . This is close to where Blessing , who is interviewing me , is from , so I think that that shop came about from the influence you had on me . That's the only way I can put it .

Dr Blessing 1:02:22

I was wondering why you were going with this . This is your trade . You need to explain , okay okay , where did it come ?

Maureen 1:02:36

so where did it come from ? You know , I've always worn t-shirts um , actually , it was a few years ago when I started going to nigeria and I made some t-shirts that I wore for training and give out some when I was doing training and with very inspirational things to help people remember . Because , you see , there's something about repeating words or seeing words consistently . It's not so much repeating them but seeing them , because as you read them , they're wiring into your brain . So these t-shirts I wear , like I am limitless , I can do all things , I am more than a conqueror . When I wear them and people see them , they go oh wow , that's so good . But you see , for me it's not that they're saying it's so cool , but they're reading it and it's registering in their brain as well .

Maureen 1:03:24

So , you know , I just felt at a point , you know what ? Why not do some of this , create some of these operas , so that people can actually wear them themselves ? And as they're wearing them , they're reading them . People are reading them , so they are being blessed , they are being rewired , and people that are reading it are also being rewired as well . So that was how it came about . I actually wasn't going to make it a shop . But in the process of starting it , you know , creating these t-shirts , it was the quickest way to get it out there . Easiest actually , because what I wanted to do before would have been so long-winded that it was just easier to design some and then just have a place where they can be sold . So that was how the mind side store came about .

Dr Blessing 1:04:16

Yeah are we likely to see a store , a shop in blue water , of the mind side store in blue water , or is it purely good to be online ?

Maureen 1:04:25

I don't think so I don't think so , just checking .

Dr Blessing 1:04:28

Don't think so , just checking . Okay , okay , good to know . All right to my question , then , moring , now the present Moring . You need to leave a note for the future Moring . It's up to you how far ahead you want to go , but considering what you've got ahead , what you've got planned , even beyond your plans , I want you to look back at this , however , further on in the future and hear this message what would you say to Maureen ?

Maureen 1:04:58

Maureen , keep living , live well , keep enjoying what you're doing . Make sure that you never , ever lose your sense of adventure . Keep having fun , yeah . Yeah , you see I'm going to keep rewiring brains , so I think that's a given . Anyway , it's important that I don't get carried away , okay , like I did with this salon , and ensure that I live , live intentionally live the life God has called me to live .

Dr Blessing 1:05:34

And what does living intentionally look like for Maureen ? How do I recognize that ?

Maureen 1:05:40

The fun Maureen Maureen that is traveling , working with ladies , working with organizations , working with people all over the world , but everywhere I'm working , I'm having fun . So even in when I'm in my 80s , 90s , I want that will still be my core . So when I'm going , speaking anywhere , still having fun . And one thing that I do now is , everywhere I go , I make sure that I have extra days to either use the spa , relax on the beach , go to the sea , you know , just nice , fun things , and that I want that to consistently be what I keep doing , because it's so important . Surely what I do , because the ability to just chill and relax and think and hear and listen to the Holy Spirit , listen to what God is saying , listen to me , what's in me , what's coming out , what do I need to do that's so important to me .

Dr Blessing 1:06:45

If I had a fairy wand and I could wave it to give you whatever it is that you want , what would you want ?

Maureen 1:06:53

What do I want ? You know , something that would give me so much joy is just having this network grow to the point that it's not about me at all . It's not about me at all , but women really helping each other , growing and impacting their own communities , lives , families , children , just where there's so many women who have it , who know it and are living it and spreading it around . So that it's not me , but yeah , that would .

Dr Blessing 1:07:26

That would give me so much joy , okay thank you To leave one word for our audience today . Maybe one sentence , maybe a parting line . What would you want to say ?

Maureen 1:07:43

Remember that you are more than able , you've got everything within you Truly live a limitless life and truly live a life that you are called to live , so that you're living for you , not for other people . Just being able to understand who you are , who God has called you to be , and owning it and living it . And owning it and living it so that , just like the ego that embraces challenges , that embraces you , know problems , you're able to , even in the midst of chaos , even in the midst of challenges , when things go your way or don't go your way , you know who you are , whose you are and what you can do . So become limitless , keep soaring , keep focused , keep focused .

Dr Blessing 1:08:37

Thank you very much , maureen . Thank you for that , and on that note , I shall say rewire your brain and stay limitless , and I'll hand the microphone back over to you . Thank you , maureen . Thank you , thank back over to you .

Maureen 1:08:50

Thank you , maureen , thank you , thank you , thank you , thank you , dr Blessing and Nakumyo . Wow , Thank you so much . I really enjoyed that . That was good . So please remember to subscribe to this podcast . Remember to subscribe and share , share , share , share , share , share , share , share with everyone that you can think of . I hope you enjoyed this podcast . And , yeah , leave your comments . Leave your comments below , let's , let's hear . You know your questions , your comments , what your takeaway is . I would love to hear that , and watch out for more of this , because Blessing has just interviewed me and her part two is coming up soon as well , where I'll be interviewing her for her part . So watch out , watch this space . Thank you very much again .

Maureen 1:09:47

Dr , Blessing , thank you . We've gotten to the end of another enlightening episode of Lead to Excel podcast . Thank you for spending your valuable time with us today diving deep into the intriguing world of neuroscience and leadership . Remember , the journey to personal and professional excellence is not a sprint , it's a marathon , and every step , no matter how small , brings you closer to your goals . If you found value in our conversation today and it has sparked insights or questions , I invite you to share your thoughts with us .

Maureen 1:10:29

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Enhancing Growth Through Podcast Reviews

Maureen 1:10:46

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