SPEAKER_01 0:02

Hey there, Maurice Jana here, founder of the MyStudes Academy, Eurocoach Executive, Leader Entrepreneurs, and a Neural Leadership Trainer using Insights from Neuroscience to help you flourish and exceed expectations. Welcome back to another episode of Lead2Excel Podcast. I'm so excited today because I've got with me Blessing by Blair, who is an event director. I've worked with Blessing for a few years, and I've given her the permission today to ask me any question relating to the whole concept of rewiring the brain. Now we're at a very unprecedented time with COVID-19. So my aim, or rather, aim today is really to be able to help people out basically as they're going through this struggle or crisis or anxiety. So the whole idea is that Blessing is going to ask me questions, and the process of answering the questions, hopefully, you will get answers to either questions you're having or how you're feeling, or basically, in any way it can help you. So welcome, Blessing, to our podcast today. So just do just want to introduce yourself briefly before we start.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

Okay, thank you. My name is Blessing, and I refer to myself as an event consultant, and I do pretty much everything from start to finish, from concept through to design and production. Along the line, there are other things as well that I do along when it comes to designing or producing an event. So, with regards to working with Maureen, she has helped me over many years because there have been times where I feel like I've dug myself too deep or have dreamed too big, and I find myself as a cliffhanger and almost want to jump. But often it's Maureen I would call, and with her um experience and knowledge, she guides me off the cliff back to safer ground. So I'm pleased that she's invited me to join today. So that's pretty much me.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

Right. Thank you very much, Blessing. So over to you now. Okay, I'm gonna say now that I do not have a clue what she's going to ask me. That's your disclaimer. So, yes, so let's go for it.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

I'll take it easy on you. I'll take it easy on you, probably. Please okay. Um, I'd like to start on a particular path, really. With everything going on, I found myself again, because the event industry is highly affected. Most of my events, weddings, parties, corporate events, conferences are all postponed. So I found myself in a place where okay, I'm working, working from home, that's not a problem, that's not the issue, but most of my earnings have been postponed, so to speak, but my expenditure hasn't. So, what do I do as an individual? How do I cope with it? So, because of that, I've had to go back, I would say, within myself to rethink, to restrategize how do I come up with something that works for me for now? Because it's an industry I've been in for years, it's not something I want to just jobship and leave. But the first thing for me is I need to change myself to work for the position I'm in. So there are three decisions I have made. So my first question is what happens in the brain when a decision is made? I want to start with maybe the biology of it or maybe the science of it. What happens in the brain when a decision is made?

SPEAKER_01 3:58

Okay. Now um I'm gonna answer it, but then I probably will uh come back to you with a question. Okay. So when you're making a decision, you're making a decision with your conscious brain. So basically, you know, the brain, we've got the subconscious brain and the conscious brain. The subconscious brain, we know, is what drives 90% of what we do. Now, the conscious brain is just literally about 10%. And I tend to use the iceberg image as an example. We are at the bottom of the iceberg under the sea, the bit we don't see, which is the subconscious brain, is the chunk of it. And then the top part, which is the conscious brain, is the behavior that we see. So when you're making a decision, you're making a decision with the conscious brain. The reason why we use our subconscious most of the time is because the conscious brain needs a lot of energy to be able to work. So that when you're making decisions or learning something new, you're using the conscious brain. So you're using a lot of energy to be able to make the neural pathway start firing together. Because making a decision, in most cases, like I'll use you as I'll use what you what you've described as an example, you've probably come up with a new decision, something different from the way it was before. Either a new way of working, a new strategy, something is basically new to the brain. So you're using your conscious brain, which needs a lot of energy. So basically, when you make a decision, the neural pathways in your brain will start firing together. And the purpose of that is a fewfold. But the main thing is that they start firing to now see, find out if there's anything in memory that can link to the new decision you're coming up with, because that's what will then help you with your planning. So, for example, you come up with a decision and then they're firing to see if there's anything in the brain that is related or similar, either information you've read in the past, something you've seen, maybe something you've even done similarly. But basically, what it's looking for is some form of familiarity or new connections will start firing to help you then process that new decision.

SPEAKER_00 6:26

Okay, thank you for that. So I find that when I make a new decision, um, probably what is explained has explained a lot for me as well. You almost have the the two things in your head. Oh my gosh. Oh, okay. So oh my gosh, is either fear or oh my gosh, excitement for me. I always want to run towards the exciting part, but I'm also aware of my oh my gosh, be careful voice, because that brings caution and makes me think things properly, think it through before budging ahead. So my next question is say I make a decision of my new worth, okay, which is what is happening with me at the moment, um, based on everything going on, I'm trying to create a new worth for me based on my experience, based on my expertise. How do I get my brain on board? Because sometimes I know what I'm thinking and I know it's right, and this decision I've made is okay for me, but my brain disagrees. And like you're saying, you know, the 90% of my eyes are just familiar with whatever I was before that decision. How do I bribe my brain to just let me be with you me?

SPEAKER_01 7:40

Okay, I like that. Bribe your brain. Okay, so now I'll point out here again that this new decision is new to the brain, so it's foreign. And for those that have not heard me talk about the brain before, I'm just going to go a bit into it, but not too much, because you can go back through my previous podcast or join a webinar which I'll be doing on Tuesday or through this period, and then you hear more. But basically, the function of our brain is to keep us safe. So anything the brain perceives as a threat to us, it will try and stop us from doing it. One thing the brain doesn't like is uncertainty. Now, anything new as well is unknown to the brain. So what it will now try and do is now assess if this is a threat or if it's a good thing. So if it's a threat, it will try and keep us away. If it's a good thing, it's like coming towards it. So it's a reward. So you're going towards it. So now you've made a new decision, which is foreign to the brain. You know consciously that it's the right thing to do. Subconsciously, it's unaware of what this new decision is. So that 90% is now firing and trying to keep you safe in your comfort zone so that you stay doing what you already know, what you're familiar with. So that's why the two brains are now not aligned. So basically, your question is how do you align them? How do you get the conscious working with the subconscious? And the way to do that, first and foremost, is to process exactly what it is you want to do. So go through the plan or the decision, come up with a plan of how you're going to achieve the goal that you want to achieve at the end. And what you're doing in the process is kind of telling the brain, the subconscious brain, that this is okay, that this is a new plan. Yes, it might be big, but it's a good challenge. So what you need to do at that point is now, in a way, reassure the subconscious brain. Because it will start coming up with reasons. And it's important at this point to listen to what it's saying, because whatever it is saying is what you have put into it or it has absorbed basically what it has already. So, what you want to now do is okay, no, this is big. What if it fails? Well, it's okay, but what I'm going to do is I'm going to give it my best shots. I'm not afraid of it failing. I'm not afraid of it not working. The important thing is that I will give it my best shot. And when I do, what I need to do is to learn everything I need to learn is to plan properly, and I stand a better chance of it succeeding than failing. And I'm going to give it all my best for it to succeed. I know that there's going to be learning along the way. And I know, yes, I might make mistakes along the way, but that's okay because that's part of the learning. So, what you're doing in essence is it gives you the thought, and you are now changing the meaning it already has to the new meaning that you want it to have, which is what which you're doing to reassure it. Now, the other thing is you have to keep repeating this process because what is already in the brain, for example, has probably been there for a long time. So it's just like you know, when we have a tape recorder and it's playing, and because you've already recorded whatever you want on Twitter and you're going play the next song. It doesn't know what you're talking about because it's already in a program, it's already programmed to go through the first one. Unless you literally stop it and fast forward, nothing is going to happen. But you just talking to it, it's not going to make a difference. So that's what we're saying with the subconscious brain. When you're changing the meaning, you're literally stopping the program. So you're putting a break on what is there, and then you're now telling it what you want it to do, and literally now, either fast-forwarding it with the information you're giving it so that it can now work on that information. I always say it's the repetition that requires the brain. So you've got to keep repeating it. And you could just stay, either when you're watching Netflix or whatever, and then the thought about this new plan you've come up with comes to your mind, and you say, Yes, this is going to be exciting. I know it's going to probably be to be a big challenge, but I'm up to the challenge because I'm equipped, I can do it. I'm going to embrace big challenges, I'm going to embrace this. So you just literally keep talking to your brain, and the more you do this, it will then at a point become familiar to it, and that's when the fighting stops. So you wouldn't need to bribe it because then the alignment happens. Okay, thanks for that.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

So, for what you said now, to reassure the brain and not to ignore it. Yes. See, my disposition would be to say, shut up, brain, you haven't got a clue what you're talking about. I'm the boss here. But you're saying no, don't ignore the brain, listen to what it's saying and reassure it. So it's important to listen.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

Let me change that reassure to listen to the brain and rewire it. Thank you. Yeah, so because what you want to do is that when you're listening, it's giving you the information that you will use to rewire. If you shut it out, if it's saying, I'm afraid it might fail, you're not hearing that because all you know is that okay, it's bringing up something negative, but you're not acknowledging what it's saying, then what are you going to rewire? Does that make sense? So you need to hear what it's saying. You know, it's just like when we talk about communication, we need to be good listeners. That's exactly what we are saying to the brain. Listen to what the brain is saying because it's basically you're going to use what it's giving you to now know what you need to rewire. And this is the whole concept of awareness. It's actually listening to what you're thinking, it's being aware of exactly who you are. What who am I? What thoughts do I have? What beliefs do I have? What values do I have? And this is a good time in this crisis for every single person to actually stop and ask themselves, who am I? What are my values? Because these are the things that will help you with making the new decision to make sure that this new decision actually aligns with your values. Because the other thing is if they don't, then there will still be a clash. And that's why it's important to listen to what the brain is saying, because then you know yourself, you know what you want, you know your purpose, then you can use that information to rewire the thoughts. So it's kind of changing the meaning that it already has.

SPEAKER_00 14:46

Okay, so the awareness here is to be aware of what you're thinking. Listen to what you're thinking, yes, be conscious of your own thoughts.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 14:58

Don't just let them run around and do what they like. You pay attention to them and anything that doesn't align with this new decision I'm making, I need to rewire. Now, if anyone wants to know what it means to rewire your brain, that's a different conversation altogether. So you can teach me, you know, just podcast about rewiring your brain. But it's um it's a very serious concept and it has worked for me pointless many, many times. It's worked for me so many times. Let's not go into that right now. So keep listening, yes, and keep rewiring. Yes, okay. Yeah, so that will lead me probably on to my next question. If I back step a few steps, you said something about you have to keep repeating this process. How long is this process going to take me? And is it a default step in that okay, it takes one day, one hour, two hours, or is it based on the decision, or is it based, you know, how long?

SPEAKER_01 16:33

Yeah, okay, good question, actually. I like that. Now, science says that it takes about 21 days to rewire the brain, yeah, but that is just a rewiring. And remember, what we said is that the subconscious works on autopilot, the subconscious doesn't know reality from non-reality, doesn't know anything that is an imagination of or reality. So basically, all it's doing is taking what you're giving it. So, with that 21 days, you've literally created a new pathway. Now, I will say give it another hundred days, literally, to now change that to now become more like a habit. And I know a lot of people now say can even give it another 100 days. The reason why I'm being a bit vague here is the fact that everyone is different. What is in my brain is different from what's in another person's brain. So the more you put into it, the more you get out of it. So the more you keep doing the repetition, it's the quicker it will happen that you will it will become rewired, basically. And it's just like learning to drive a car, learning to ride a bicycle. How long does it take? That's the kind of question we're asking here. How long will it take me to learn to drive? How long will it take for me to learn how to ride a bicycle? The question is, who knows? The fact is that we know that it takes roughly about 21 to rewire, and it takes another hundred or even longer for it to now become autopilot. What I would say is at least give it three months for it to now become something that becomes like a habit, but that is with constant repetition. Now, staying there and saying, okay, I'll just repeat it once a day, it's not gonna make much of a difference. So the more you want something, the more you go for it. What you're doing literally is retraining the brain to change what it already has. The brain goes to where your thought goes. So, whatever thought you have, that's what's directing your brain. So, whatever you're thinking, the more you think it, the more it then becomes embedded in the subconscious. So it can now move from conscious to subconscious. But then if you go back to the old habit, then this one that is not being used will disappear. And there's a saying that goes neurons that fire together, wire together. When you're having a thought process, so they are firing and then just firing, but the more they fire, then they become more fixed together, so they become wired together. And then if you stop firing with them, then they could end up disintegrating and then focus on the next one. So basically, where your thought goes, the brain goes.

SPEAKER_00 19:25

I think that's uh going to be on your t-shirts. We should have neurons that fire together, wire together together. I've made a note of that. See, my brain is firing, it is firing, okay. Right, everything you said now means I have to have same power, yes, because if I don't have same power, I'm not gonna see the change I want. So, a vital part of this change management within is same power. Now, consider the times we're in, it's not like we have a choice, we're going anywhere. It's a good time to practice same power. Absolutely, however, how do I develop my same power up here? How do I stay on course?

SPEAKER_01 20:11

Okay, now and are we referring to in terms of this decision that you've made?

SPEAKER_00 20:17

This decision, yes, because now you're saying I need to repeat the process, you're saying I need to think what I'm thinking, everything you've said needs to be done. There's a lot of repetition that needs to happen for someone like me who's very creative. I just want it now, I want to get on with it and move on to something else. Saying and repeating is not my fault at all. You know, I've had to, you've taught me to persevere, so to speak, because it's it doesn't come naturally to me because I'm creative. Um, if one part doesn't work, I'm moving on to the next very quickly. So, how do I grow my saying power to sit still and repeat and repeat and repeat till it becomes my default person?

SPEAKER_01 20:55

Okay. Now, one question is how badly do you want it? That's the big question. How badly do you want how badly do you want it to work? And I know you because I know how creative you are. So, in that same breath, this is a decision that you've come up with. You've obviously now set plans in place of how you're going to carry it out. So every day you're working on this plan. The idea is that throughout this period, like you said, we're not going anywhere. So it's an opportunity for you to really work on this plan so that even if there are things you can be doing now regarding the plan, so that once we come out of lockdown, you can literally hit the floor running. And that's exactly what you're doing. So it doesn't mean that you have to sit in one place kind of just repeating it and going, no, it doesn't basically, it just means that it needs your attention, it needs focus. How that attention and focus happens just depends on how you work best. It could be now because I know you I'm going to talk for people I don't know, you know yourselves. And I know you like writing on a board, you like you like ideas, so you write on the board. It could be every day, different times, you walk past the board, you know, you're relating to your plan, you're writing something about the plan, you're saying what you want, how you want it to happen. So it's just things like that. In your planner, your worksheet, your goal setting, in your study, you're still working on it. So as you're working on it, you know, basically talking to yourself about how this is going to work, thinking about it, breaking it down. So it's like goal setting, and that's why I always say goal setting is so important, and it's the one thing a lot of business owners push to the side and feel it's not important. Goal setting is so important because it actually helps give your brain a structure, it gives your brain understanding, and that is what will help wire the brain and give you the staying power. That's basically what will keep you motivated. So you have your plan and say, okay, by this time, this is what I want to achieve. Okay, you get up in the morning. What's your plan for the day? You have your plan laid out, and as you're working on this decision you've made, as you're going through it, that is helping to rewire the brain as well. And then in the process of doing that, you might then come up with something that is scary to your brain. But that's the point at which you can then pick it up and address it there and there, and you carry on and keep going. So it doesn't mean you have to keep repeating that same thing because as you're working on the plan, things will start unfolding. And as they're unfolding, you're alert to what you're thinking, and you can start addressing them as you go along. That's the repetition. So the repetition basically means that you're consistently working on this decision. So you've got a goal you want to achieve, and then you have a plan and you're working towards it consistently till you achieve it. And this is what will help you stay on focus or stay on target to achieve what you want. Because not doing this is what makes people lose focus. Because if something else comes along, you find some people they have a good plan, they've made a decision, have a good plan, and then something else comes along, or an idea pops up, or something you see something, Shelly. Now, switch on YouTube. There's so many adverts. Come here. You want what do you want to do? You can start a new business, you can become a coach. There's so much being thrown out there. And if you're not careful, it's easy to go. Oh, yeah, this is easy. I can become a YouTuber. Yeah, I can do this. That's why it's so important to know, okay, this is what I want to achieve. This is the plan I have. I'm being focused. I'm going to give this the attention it needs, I'm going to work on it. That is rewiring your brain, and that's what will keep you, that's what will give you the staying power. And that's what will also keep you alert to not getting drawn into something else. Because people will come and tell you, why don't you do this? Or why not do this? But then, because you alert, you go, that's not for me. I'm staying on my own lane here. This is my lane. This is what this is what I want to do.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

Maintain your lane.

SPEAKER_01 25:24

Absolutely. Stay on your own lane. Because everybody has their own lane, and there's so much out there that is tempting to go and do something. Somebody has done it and it's worked for them. Is that for you? What is yours? What's your value? What is it you want? If not, you end up running around like a yo-yo, not doing diet, um yo-yo dieting, but yo-yo businessing, which is pointless.

SPEAKER_00 25:47

And I think also on this point about maintaining your lane, is you refer to it about goal setting. Now, goal setting is something that most times I hear at the beginning of the year. Okay, so what's the end of the year? Post Christmas is starting adverse, set your goals, goal setting, goal setting, mood boarding. Now, we're not in January anymore. We're in, I don't even know where we are anymore. I've lost track. We're in April now. So can I still set goals or January is come and gone, therefore, I cannot set my goals? Might be someone's question. What's your answer to that?

SPEAKER_01 26:20

Yeah, I like this because it's something I'm so passionate about, and I try to get people to understand you can set goals anytime of the year. Goal setting is not just for New Year's resolution or beginning of a year, because normally it's the beginning of the year, people start thinking about their lives. Okay, now it's now time for me to set goals for this year. The fact is that you should really be reflective throughout you know every day of the year, anyway. So if you come to a point that you feel that, okay, I need to change course, set a goal. So you really you should have your goals that you're working on through the year. Goal setting is dynamic, it's not fixed. Doesn't mean because I've said this, I cannot change it. You can, but it's just keeping in focus what you want to achieve and where you're going. So that you don't end up setting different goals and then moving in different directions and then not moving at all. Because this is a new decision you've made and you've made it in March, literally, it's time to now set a goal with a plan of what you need to do to achieve that goal by when as well. So now, because there's a lot of uncertainty, we don't know how long we're going to be in lockdown for. So when you're setting this goal, it's okay, I don't know how long we're going to be here for, but this is what I can do in lockdown. So instead of saying in three months I'll do this or in two months I'll do this, because we don't know. Just say in lockdown, this is what I want to achieve. If lockdown carries on, then what you can then do is keep reviewing it and say, okay, what else can I add? What else can I achieve? What can I do? So you're reviewing it constantly. But yes, goal setting is something that you can start anytime, but you should really be working on goals throughout the year. And every day have a plan of what you're going to do. Don't just get up and start going about your day. Spend time once you get up in the morning to think about what you're going to do and write it down. Have a plan so that you stay on targets to achieve what you want.

SPEAKER_00 28:31

It's quite important, I suppose, especially now in these times where everybody's almost like self-led. You have to lead yourself, I suppose, is what you're saying. For those who work for others and are used to knowing what they're supposed to do when they get to work or they're told what to do when they get to work, and now they're having to work from home. So there's a lot of people who are self-led now who have never actually practiced leading themselves. And I know in many of your sessions you talk about leadership and you tell people that they are leaders because they lead themselves. Not just you're not a leader because you lead others. You're a leader because you have to lead yourself first. But people, um, here is where I'm going to say if you find that you're struggling with leading yourself, managing your time, organizing your tasks, setting your goals that we're talking about, I'm sure that somewhere where you can find either a podcast Maureen has done, or a session she's done, or a webinar coming up now, then I'm sure you can always send her a message and find out more about leadership. Because if you cannot lead yourself, you're going to struggle to lead others, let alone your own workload, especially in these trying times. Because I'm struggling to know what day it is. I don't know if the name is today's Friday or Saturday. It's all blurry and all one of the things, you know. So if you don't have those tools, skill is one thing, but the tool is another thing. Because you could try the skills, but if you don't then have the tools to implement the skills, you'll struggle. So I would suggest go and have a look at those podcasts or those sessions to call quite a service on MindSife Academy and see what would be of benefit to you. Another thing I wanted to ask you, Maureen, is oh, well, I'm good. I've got my tools, I've got my skills, I've worked with you over years, and I know somehow I think I kind of know what I need to do sometimes, but it doesn't stop those Gary thoughts from coming up. It doesn't stop that the guy on the left from uh in my head is a guy, it's not a girl.

SPEAKER_01 30:25

The guy on the left that comes up, and I like the fact that he's on the left as well.

SPEAKER_00 30:31

That comes up, that comes up and is like, what the heck do you think you're doing? Blessing sometimes it's not friendly at all, and he would pull up genuine reasons, genuine experiences and cases, genuine files to buttress his point. How do I get past him?

SPEAKER_01 30:51

Yeah, this is really interesting, and it just shows how amazing the brain is, literally, also how imaginative the brain is, and how much information that the brain has, you know, because when you're saying it pulls out files, got this in memory. So when you're then saying to yourself, I'm going to do this, it will go, oh no, what don't do that. This person did it and it did not work. Remember the last time you tried it and then it failed? What if you do it and this happens and a lot will come up? All you need to keep reminding yourself basically is that he's only trying to help me. All he's doing is trying to keep me safe. He's my friend. All he's trying to do, he is my friend, all he's trying to do is keep me safe. So, brain, thank you for the information. But you know what? We can do this because basically, what you're doing is acknowledging what he's telling you. Okay, yeah, thank you. Okay, yeah, that's great, that's great information. Thank you for letting me know. But you know what? Listen to me. We're gonna do this, this is how we're going to do it, and this is what we're going to get at the end. So come with me, we can do this. So, in a way, what you're doing is just reassuring it in a way and then rewiring it. That's so important to put those brakes on at that point. One thing I would say is the steps that are always advisable is listen first and foremost without judgment, because that's the only way to hear what it's saying. So listen first to what the brain is saying. Because if you start judging it immediately, you will miss the information that it's trying to give you. And don't judge it, don't say this is wrong, don't say it's right, just listen. And then when you've listened to the information that is given you, then you can then start addressing it, that's changing it and say, okay, you're afraid that it will fail. If we plan and we do our research and do everything that we need to do, we won't fail. But you know what? Even if it doesn't work, at least we tried, because the last thing I want is to start regretting that something I could have done. So we don't want that. So at least we'll give it our best, we'll give it everything that we have, and you know what, there's no going back because we're going to make this work. So it's kind of changing the meaning that the brain has, and that's what will calm the fear and anxiety, because that fear is now activated by the emotional brain, the amygdala. So the amygdala is what's now going to the hippocampus, which is where the memory is stored, and saying, remember this. The hippocampus is not giving you the memory, basically. When this happened, when this happened, the amygdala is saying, You see what the hippocampus is saying, no, we can't do it. And then you what you now do, you stopping to listen and put the brakes on, then enables your conscious brain kick in. And that's where the reasoning now happens. And say, No, we can't do this. We just need to work, research, put this plan in place, do everything that we can because we don't want to start regretting it. And then you then keep reinforcing information, reinforcing it, and be so determined that you're not going to let this go, that you're going to you're going to achieve this. You know, like a dog that has a bone that refuses to let go. That's it, literally. And we're going to get this, we're going to make this work. You know, challenges will come. And it's also appreciating the fact that you will face challenges. Because it's if you have a plan and feel, oh, everything is going to be honky dory, everything is going to be fine, oh, it's going to be wonderful. When problem then comes, you're going, oh my gosh, no, I'm going back. So it's acknowledging the fact that challenges will come. We don't know what those challenges will be, but we know they will come. And when they come, you know what? We're ready because we're prepared and we really want this. Don't stop till you reach where you want to get to, till you get there. So that's the key. Like you said, in this climate we are in, where a lot of people have not worked from home before. So this is probably the first time they're having to work from home. That also how you view that is important. Are you viewing it as a problem or are you viewing it as an opportunity? If you view it as a problem, it will be a problem because just like Blessing said, that comes up with all these files. So if you view it as a problem, it will give you all the files and information to show you why it's a problem. And I call that a confirmation bias. So it literally confirms what you're giving it. So whatever you tell it, it will go searching for the information in your subconscious and confirm it to you. And it's, my goodness, it has a lot in there that it can confirm for you. Whatever you're looking for, it will give you. That's how creativity actually comes from making a decision, being determined to achieve it, keep telling the brain what you want to get, then it will go and start looking for information within you to help you achieve it. And that's where creativity is born. You know, then you start coming up with ideas of things you can do and how you can do things and how you can achieve things. The brain has so much in it. Give it the space and opportunity to guide you where you want to go. Okay, thank you for that.

SPEAKER_00 36:23

I have other questions, but they're not necessarily, shall I say, work or business related, they're more personal related. Okay. So I'm gonna phrase them this week. Okay, it's still around this decision making, but it's almost easier around decision making for work because in my head, work is work. Um, but decision making around personal relationships is slightly still harder for me. I mean, for someone else, it could be the other way around, but for me, it's this way. So when it comes to personal relationships and I make a decision, I still find that though I'm advanced in decision making around my business area, and you've given me the tools and I've got the skills and I've developed it over time. With regards to personal relationships, I'm still struggling around decisions I make. So the questions that you normally ask me to ask myself, and I don't have to call you to ask you. I ask, I'm like, let me mouring myself. So I ask myself those morning questions and I answer them. But I still struggle with my answers. What I'm trying to ask is how do I help myself in my personal relationship emotionally around decision making as well? Is it the same? Is it different?

SPEAKER_01 37:40

Okay, you have already separated it in your brain, you've already separated it so that it's different. Now, what I would do with you, and I'll probably do this off camera with you, is dig down a bit more because what's happening here is that you separated them, obviously, and they are separate because we know. Now, in that personal relationship, the question is what meaning have you given it? Because there's obviously some meaning that you've given it that is making you struggle with it. What you will find is that you could make a decision relating to somebody that you will react differently from the decision you make with another person. Yeah. So now there's um a tool that I use, a brain mapping diagnostic tool, when I start coaching people. And what it looks at is behavior preferences and how people adapt their behavior. So it literally looks at how your brain is working. If I'm working with someone and it's work-related, when they're doing this diagnostic, I ask them to just focus on work. If I'm working with them based on relationships, I ask them to think of relationship, mainly because the brain is such a complex and interesting organ. The connections that it's forming every time are so complex. So the way you will be at work will be different from the way you will be at home. So those relationships, the reason why you struggle with them is the meaning you've given them. So it's worth exploring what that meaning is, and it's from there we can start changing that meaning so that it will not be a problem for you. And also then the other question, because obviously something is not aligning in the brain. This is a misalignment. So you know you're literally hitting your record and saying, change, change, change, change, change, and it's going, oh, excuse me. So that's literally what's happening. So to be able to really change it, we've got to stop it and start playing to see where the scratch is. Because you know those um binding records where they scratch and they're going, yeah, exactly. So, what you want to do now is figure out where the scratch is so that we can either fix it or do something about it or skip it, or but we need to analyze that scratch. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_00 40:10

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. Okay, thank you for that. I think that's all questions I have for now. I yeah, I'm thinking of what you just said. I just want to go and walk it out in my head. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:29

There's something there, and it's it's exciting actually, because obviously, um just I think the key here is everyone remember that anything your brain is doing is working with information that is in it. It doesn't necessarily mean that you've given it, it could be information that is picked up from society, from press, from media, from parents, from teachers, from uh you know, the industry, it could be from anywhere. But the key is what is it? What information is there? What information is there? And do I need to change it? How do I change it? That's the key. But identifying the information is the first thing. Then if you need to then change it, then that needs to be changed. So yeah, we'll have a chat and then dig a bit deeper. So now thank you so much, Blessing, for this. Um, I enjoyed that. I like I said, I really did not know what Blessing was going to ask me, and I just said, you know what, just go for it. Because sometimes it's just better to do things this way instead of planning this way, you get more information out. So now, if you're if anyone is interested in coaching, I'm going to leave a link at the bottom so that you can just book a short, uh, what I call more a strategic meeting or discovery meeting, a call where we can just have a chat and see, you know, where you're at and see if it's something I can help you with. The coaching I do is purely brain-based. So it's looking at how your brain works so you can adjust your life, adjust your behavior, adjust whatever you need to do to achieve whatever you want to achieve. Our brain has so much in it. Don't let it do its own thing. You can control it. The key here is to take back control of your brain, take it back by rewiring it. But if you don't know what to rewire, then you're kind of just leaving it to do its own thing. And this is where a lot of people end up victims of life. Don't be one of those. You can do something about it. So I hope you know Blessing and I have helped you today. If you want us to do this again, just put a comment at the bottom, let's know, and we'll come back. And then also if there's specific things you want us to discuss, let us know, and we can do this again. So please don't forget to subscribe wherever you listen to this podcast. Everyone, stay safe. Look after yourself, look after your brain at this time. It's so important. Look after your brain. Don't let it do its own thing. Think about what you're thinking and take back that control. Good luck, everyone. Bye for now.