SPEAKER_00 0:03

Hi there, Mauriciana here, founder of the Mindsight Academy, neurocoach to executives, leaders, entrepreneurs, and a neuroleadership trainer using insights from neuroscience to help you deliver results by learning to work smarter, be in control of your brain, manage yours and other people's emotions, change behaviors, flourish, and exceed expectations. I am so pleased to be back here with another episode of Lead to Excel podcast. Today I've got a fantastic guest. I am so excited about this lady, and I really want you guys to hear what she does because it's really intriguing. When I met Etsy, I was so intrigued to find out what she did and how you know the impact it really has on people. So without wasting any more time, let's get in and find out about Etsy. Am I pronouncing your name properly?

SPEAKER_01 1:09

Is it like the letters S?

SPEAKER_00 1:12

Ah, so Astie, right. So welcome, Asti, to Lead2XL podcast. So could you just tell us your name in full?

SPEAKER_01 1:19

Yes. Thank you, Maureen, for having me. I'm super excited to be here. I'm Asti Rappaport, like the letters S and T, just saying the letters S T together. Rappaport. However, you pronounce it, it's fine. I don't really care.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

I've got it now. It's Asti. So exactly. Right. So yeah, tell us about you. So who are you? What do you do?

SPEAKER_01 1:43

I am a relationship photographer and coach, which means I take pictures of couples and I using various methods, especially CJEA, I coach them through their problems, their challenges, I should say, um, together with photography.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

Fantastic. So I really before we started this podcast, Astia and I were just talking about the weather because I'm in the UK and she's in New Jersey, and the weather here is horrible. Um, while New Jersey is really lovely and warm.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

It's no, it's freezing. It is so cold, but it is really sunny. You go outside, your like fingers like freeze off, but it's sunny. That's New Jersey. Freezing in the winter and really hot in the summer.

SPEAKER_00 2:34

Yeah, yeah, true. Right. Okay, I'm gonna ask you something. You mentioned CJEA. What is that?

SPEAKER_01 2:44

CJEA stands for Creative Journal Expressive Arts. It's a method developed by Dr. Lucia Cappuccione about using your non-dominant hand to access your subconscious mind. Because anytime you have a challenge, anytime you need to make a decision, you wanna decide how to do something, make new plans, you have all these ideas and it's all coming from your logic brain. You're thinking consciously about it. You get tons of people like giving you advice, maybe from social media, maybe books that you read, all sorts of things. Now it's amazing. We will need our logic brain. However, when we're stuck in our logic brain, we get we're not attached to our subconscious that knows the answers already. So when you write with your non-dominant hand, the hand you don't usually use to write with, it's like you're walking in through the back door. You go straight past all the logic stuff, and you get straight to the subconscious and the emotions that knows exactly what you need in this moment.

SPEAKER_00 3:58

Interesting. You see, I find that really intriguing because, as you know, I love everything to do with the brain, and just being able to tap into the subconscious by using your non-dominant hand is really interesting. So, can you just explain this a bit more? What's the benefit of really getting into that subconscious? Because you see, I would have thought that my dominant hand is really coming from my subconscious brain. But you are saying that no, it's not, it's coming from the conscious. Is that right?

SPEAKER_01 4:41

Yeah, so there are many people out there I do know that do all sorts of journaling and activities with the dominant hand to access the subconscious. And it is possible to do it like that, but it is much harder when because you have to first walk through all the logic stuff, realize that hey, the only reason why I'm thinking this is because I saw it in this movie, or hey, I only want to do this because my mom wants me to do this. But if you go right past that, you for you don't have to work through all that. You could, when you write with your non-dominant hand, you don't have to figure all that stuff out before you hit the subconscious. So you get straight to the core to the reason of what you're trying to figure out.

SPEAKER_00 5:30

Right. Okay. So the aim is to get into the subconscious, right? And it's the non-dominant using the non-dominant hand that takes us there. Now, I'm trying to understand the science behind how um the non-dominant hand gets us into that subconscious, so it bypasses everything to get us there.

SPEAKER_01 5:59

Okay, so I'll explain that. So there's um the left side of the brain is in charge of the logic stuff, right? Math, reading, writing. The right side of the brain is in charge of the creative stuff or music, drama, and it's in charge of emotions. Now that's the side of the brain where the subconscious lays the subconscious is in between the two halves of the brain, but it lays like entering it is through the right side of the brain. When you write with your non-dominant hand, you're accessing it through the right brain. Because when you're writing, what's happening? You're going in through the left side of the brain. When you're right, but if you take your pen and you move it to the other hand or whatever you're doing, you're eating with a fork and you move it to the other hand. Now your brain has to make new neuron connections and rewire it. So it's going to enter from the other side of the brain, which is going to be your subconscious side.

SPEAKER_00 6:58

Thank you very much for explaining that. And what's the what's the advantage of that though? What is that going to help us achieve?

SPEAKER_01 7:07

So it literally helps you with almost anything you want to understand. It sounds crazy and like, okay, I'm not going to believe this, but because it's your subconscious and your inner self really knows everything. Like, you know, when you need to make a decision and you're like, I don't know this, I don't know that, and you keep on going back and forth. But deep, deep down, if you're going to get really honest, you know what answer you're going to do. Right. Now that is in your subconscious, your mind, your body knows the answer already. When you're writing with your non-dominant hand, you're not thinking, you're just writing because as soon as you start thinking logically, you're getting back into your left brain. So you're not thinking, you're just writing, and then it just comes out on the paper the answer that you were looking for. So whether you're looking to make decisions, you are looking, you have a health problem, and you want to know why your back is hurting you. There's a reason why your back is hurting you. Now you might be focused on the pain. What happens? There might be something in your subconscious that is so big and so scary to get into that your subconscious says, Don't come here, don't look at it, don't try to figure it out. Instead, I'm going to make your back hurt so that way you're focusing on your back pain instead of trying to go and figure it out. So now when you're writing, why is my back hurt with your non-dominant hand, your answer is going to come out from the subconscious right away because you're not focusing on your back, you're focusing on your subconscious. So it, if you want to have a difficult conversation with someone, you could try that also because your subconscious will be able to know somewhat, obviously, not exact wording, but the concepts of what that person will be trying to tell you. So you could have a conversation. I'll give you an example. Let's say you have someone that you have a really hard time, uh, really hard, a difficult conversation you need to have with someone. It could be an employee, it could be a coworker, your husband, anyone. You could take two markers and two different hands. Your dominant hand is going to be your things that you want to say, and your non-dominant hand is going to be the other person. And then you go and you have that conversation. You tell them whatever you think, you ask them whatever questions you want to ask them, and you have them answer with your non-dominant hand. Now, what happens this way when you're writing it down on a paper, you're not getting caught up in the emotions of the other people. Usually, when you have a conversation with someone, after two minutes of this hard thing that either the other person shuts down or they yell and they leave the room, the conversation just stops. When it's on a paper, you don't have that. It's just you writing between your two hands. Then you could get all the way to the end of the conversation and figure out how this is going. So when you go and have this conversation in real, it's much easier. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_00 9:55

Interesting. Yeah, absolutely. Really interesting. So coming back to the dominant hand and non-dominant hand, what I find really interesting is that because you're using the non-dominant hand, then what you're doing in essence is engaging your conscious brain. And because the conscious brain is then busy trying to work out because it's new to the brain, that way you can then access your subconscious brain where all the information is stored. And that's, you know, so I find that really interesting. Yeah, and I love the way you explain the subconscious brain because you're absolutely right. Everything we do, memory is all stored in our subconscious brain, and it's got a lot of answers. The main thing about the subconscious brain is that a lot of the answers it has, some of it might not serve us well sometimes, some of it might. What do you say to that?

SPEAKER_01 10:58

Yes. So the reasons why we have these thoughts or these beliefs in our subconscious is because at a certain point, in a certain moment, it did serve you well. So maybe something happened when you were three years old and the whole world was gonna fall apart. There was no way you would be able to survive without this thought. So your brain made this thought for right then. And the problem was it got stuck there. So now that you know that this thought is in your subconscious mind and it's not letting you achieve what you want to achieve, you could bring your conscious in and talk back to it. So what you do is again, you take two markers and you write your um your belief with one hand, and with the other hand, you answer back to it. No, that's not true. I know that's you just go back and you answer and you create a new thing. I am working towards becoming better, a better leader. I am working, I am in the process of loving myself. Don't say I love myself now, because then your body's just not gonna believe it. But if you say I'm working towards I have I have the ability, I am capable, then you could go and change that thought in your subconscious.

SPEAKER_00 12:52

Because when you say I am working towards, the subconscious doesn't recognize that um I am working towards, because as far as the subconscious is concerned, that's you know, that's not happened, it doesn't know it. So, how do you then go back and change it? And how long after do you change it?

SPEAKER_01 13:13

So it's gonna be an ongoing process, depends on the person. Some people are really connected with themselves, and this work works for them immediately. Some people, the first time they try it, they get no answers. Everything that comes out is just nothing, and they're like, I don't know, I don't know. Well, if you were never connected with yourself, just like when you meet a stranger the first time, you don't go and tell them all your deepest, darkest secrets. Your subconscious is also not going to go and tell you all its deepest, darkest secrets if it's the first time you're going and contacting it. So it's a process, it takes time. And then there's all different things you could go and do to change that belief in your subconscious. So we either be writing or because your subconscious doesn't think in words, but it thinks in pictures, art is a real all sort of art is a really good way to connect with it. So art, whether in like painting and drawing and things like that with your non-dominant hand, or music and movement, all those things change is like the language of the subconscious and goes in there much faster. So by using your non-dominant hand and using any sort of art together with what you're trying to change, you'll have a much faster result.

SPEAKER_00 14:23

That's amazing. And I suppose that's why um things like vision boards are really important because that's the way the brain works, you know, it's that imagination, it's those pictures. So, yeah, that's that's good. So now it's really cool. Sorry to kind of interrupt you for a second.

SPEAKER_01 14:42

Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, what I love about vision boards is people like to hang up vision boards and they their pictures and they're awesome. They train your subconscious. The thing with vision boards is when you have a problem, it's not gonna go and solve your problem for you. What you can do is at the time you have a problem, you can look at your vision board, and with your non-dominant hand, you could have the vision board so-called talk to you, like tell you what you should do in the problem. Now, because that picture got into your subconscious, now your subconscious will know the answer and will be able to write it out for you on the paper, and then you'll know what to do.

SPEAKER_00 15:19

Interesting. So it's it's looking because with the vision board, I always say that the vision board with no action is worthless anyway. So it's looking at the vision board and then now getting back into the subconscious to find the action and answers to what actions you need to take.

SPEAKER_01 15:40

Exactly. You've said it so well. Exactly. That's the way it is. That is good.

SPEAKER_00 15:45

I just love the way the art links with the science. It's it's just fascinating. So now you talked about help using this to help couples. How do you do that? Um, you know, just talk us through that. What does what is that like?

SPEAKER_01 16:03

Yeah, so I usually work with couples who are already like in a good relationship. We're not talking about abuse here, where they need to get like get get much more professional help, like get real therapy, much more intense, but more like just to give them the tools of what they can do in case challenges like that come up. So we do all sorts of art and exercises with the non-dominant hand to understand certain pattern behaviors, why they're doing certain things and actions they can do to go and overcome it. Then we go and we take pictures together with the couples in their ultimate state of love, connection, intimacy, whatever they want, find their favorite pictures, use it as a vision board. So they hang those up in their house, and then we to go and do more journaling and more art with the vision boards that we just created. But instead of cutting out for magazines, they're vision boards of pictures of them and really get the deep answers that they're looking for.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

Wow, interesting. So, what kind when would couples come to you? Because you said it's not couples who are going through some struggles like abuse. So, when would a couple come to you? What kind of issues would they be having, or why would they come to you in the first place if everything is fine?

SPEAKER_01 17:21

Yeah. So sometimes it's just couples who have a good relationship and they want to make it even better. My favorite couples, because they always want to just keep on growing. And sometimes it doesn't have to be abuse. You could have like challenges, like you're just like not communicating with your spouse, or like things you feel like you're losing some of that connection that wasn't like right when you got married. It's part of life, life gets busy, things happen, and you want to be able to go and reconnect. It's not like bad, it's just the cycle of the way relationships work.

unknown 17:53

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 17:54

So when couples come to you, because I just find this really interesting, when they come to you, how long do you tend to work with them? How does how does it what does it look like? Um, because I know you've talked about the pictures, taking the pictures and creating the vision board. So how does what then happens? You know, so if you just give a typical example.

SPEAKER_01 18:17

Yeah, so the average couple we work for for 12 sessions, um, a few sessions before the photo shoot, the photo shoot, and then a few sessions after the photo shoot. And then by the end of 12 sessions, they have the skills they need to go and do this by themselves whenever they want. Because whenever you have a challenge now, you sit down and you journal and you go and you figure it out. Now, look, if I ever have to make a decision, if I ever have to make a discussion with someone, like have a hard discussion with someone, just a bad day, I know to sit down and just journal because I'm gonna get my answers out on my paper.

SPEAKER_00 18:49

I love this. So basically, what we're saying here is that the answers are really already within us.

SPEAKER_01 18:57

Exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

So for couples, what kind of challenges do you have when they come to you? Um, so you know, because you're giving them tips or giving them, you know, um tools to really go back and make their marriages better. What kind of challenges do you find um you come across?

SPEAKER_01 19:18

So there could be all sorts of things. Sometimes it's like there's one person that is more controlling than the other person. Um, sometimes it could be the other person, like recently I had a couple, the husband he just like checked out. He was there, he spoke to her, but he wasn't like in the relationship, wasn't interested that much. He just like flowing through life. And that's very common because life gets busy, things get hectic, and like there's a limit to how much you could do and how you prioritize your things. But if you go and journal about it, you could figure out maybe one hour a week I'm going to spend time with her. If I do this specific action, it's gonna go and make a difference. There's little things that if you do, they make a huge difference to your whole relationship.

SPEAKER_00 20:06

So do they have to journal together or do they do it separately?

SPEAKER_01 20:11

So you every person journals on their own paper, but then if they want, they could go and they could share it. So sometimes, like there's um well, like let's say if I'm back at home, maybe we're deciding to go and sit, like we're both journaling and then we're gonna because like we got into a fight. So instead of talking about it first, we're both gonna journal and then we're gonna talk about it. Sometimes I'm just upset about something that you did, so I'm gonna go and journal and then I'll be able to talk to you about it.

SPEAKER_00 20:39

That's awesome. I love that. I really like that. Interesting. So, how did you get into this, Astie? Because it's it's so different, it's not something I've ever come across. How okay?

SPEAKER_01 20:52

So I was started by doing photography. I did photography my whole life. Um, and as I was doing photography, I realized my favorite ones were the emotion part, and that with couples just came out the most. So I wanted to do a more relationship photography only. And that's at that point, I was doing only vision boards. As I would take pictures of them, they'd find their favorite ones and hang it up as a vision board. And I loved it. I thought it was really cool, but like I said before, it doesn't solve your problems. Like you said, you need to take those actions. So I was looking to see what else I can do to go and help these couples. I didn't want to go back to school, I was fed up of that. And I was just like open. I was like, okay, I'm gonna keep my eyes open, see what happens, and maybe I'll find something. And there was this lady who needed a place to stay for the weekend, so she ended up staying by my house and she was a CJA coach, and she was like telling me about it. I was like, oh my goodness, this is so cool. So I write the answer with my non-dominant hand. Like, I write the question with my non-dominant, the question with my dominant hand, the answer with my non-dominant hand. And then I just get the answer that I'm looking for. That's like so cool. Like, no, I'm not gonna have challenges anymore. Not really, you still have challenges, but I'm not gonna be stuck, like lost. Like, I'm not gonna know what I'm gonna have to do anymore. So I decided to go and get take some sessions by her to first figure out and see if I really like this, you know, does it really work? And I was like, no, I'm not doing it over Zoom. I'm Zoom, I'm coming to your house. This was like a few years back, so it was like before you were able to go and see people. And I was like, No, I'm going to do it in your house. And I would go and I would drive two hours each way to do it in our house because I was like, I have to do this in person. And I absolutely loved it from the First session, I sat there like my I got like a whole clarity and like everything that was going on in my life. It just made so much sense. And I was like, I love this. So after a few more sessions, I went and I went to get trained.

SPEAKER_00 22:48

Amazing. Amazing. My brain is just ticking away because I've got a few answers before we finish a few questions before we finish this. So one thing that I'm aware of is that the information in our subconscious brain obviously is from our experiences, from our childhood, from everything we've picked up along the way. What if you go looking for answers? And the answers that your subconscious brain is giving you are not helpful. So they could be answers that could be quite limited because that's the information it has. How do you deal with that? Or how is how do you recognize that? And how you know how do you work through that?

SPEAKER_01 23:31

Yeah. So the only way that will happen is if you're not connected yet with your subconscious, because your subconscious knows way more than we think it knows. We think it's only our experiences, but it's way more than that. So if you're not getting answers that you are, like you said, limited answers, I would suggest you journal again the next day or a few days later and try it again. And again, every time I journal about the same thing, I get different answers because I'm connecting with it more and more and more.

SPEAKER_00 24:04

Yeah. I understand that. That's that's interesting. Because what's happening in that sense is that because the brain is constantly wiring. And I think from what you're saying, I think what you're working on a lot is the insights that come from inside the from the subconscious. It's that insights we get, like intuition, into you know, the the um light bulb moments, it's those, you know, because and that comes from the wiring that is occurring. And I suppose that's what answers the question, why you get different answers at different times. And the intelligence is that we know what's limiting, so it's being able to decide on and and make that right decision. If you're not getting what you know should be the right answer, you can go back and keep journaling. And in a way, what that is actually doing is in essence rewiring the brain. Yes. So oh wow, yes.

SPEAKER_01 24:59

What happens is after you do this for enough times, yeah, for really constant for a really long time, yeah. Then this is like much later on, like, really, not anyone who's just starting out. Your brain, like you said, gets rewired, and all of a sudden you'll get these subconscious insights, like you said, throughout your day. And you're like, I would have never thought of this a year ago, but now I am, and it's just so cool. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:23

I think that is so powerful, actually. And being able to live like that, because one thing I always say is the brain is such a complex organ, but so intelligent, so smart, so clever, there's so much in it. You know, when you think about creativity, innovation, what can come from our brain? But a lot of times we don't use it, we just you know, which we don't really tap into the power of the brain. So I truly love what you do, and um, I'm sure I'm sure the listeners will be excited. So, how do they find you? You know, tell me where they can find you, where they can reach you, where they can contact you.

SPEAKER_01 26:02

Yes, the best place to do that would be is to go to Life Picks with an X, Life Picksrelationships.asme, and I'd love to speak to you there.

SPEAKER_00 26:13

Awesome. And I'm gonna put the link in the description as well for anyone that wants to um visit you. So, yeah, thank you very much. This has been so interesting and really revealing quite a lot of um insights for me as well. So, thank you once again, Astie. Thank you once again for tuning in. And remember that if you haven't subscribed to this podcast, click on the button wherever you listen to it so that you don't miss an episode. And I would really appreciate you leaving a review as well, or even a comment on the podcast or ideas of topics that you want me to talk about in future. I've got some exciting episodes coming up with some interesting guests that you really wouldn't want to miss. So, in this climate, wherever you are, do remember to keep safe, look after yourself, and I truly wish you perfect health. Stay limitless, and I look forward to seeing you in the next episode. Bye for now.