SPEAKER_00 0:04

Hey there, Maureen Cherna here, founder of the MindSight Academy, neurocoach to executives, leaders, entrepreneurs, and a neuroleadership trainer using insights from neuroscience to help you deliver results by learning to work smarter, be in control of your brain, manage yours and others' emotions, change behaviors, flourish and exceed expectations. Welcome back to another episode of Lead to Excel Podcast. I am so thrilled to be with you today because we have a special guest. But before we get into that, remember to subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen to it. Because it will help other people find it and give them the opportunity to understand how they can rewire their own brain to enable them to achieve their goals. So without wasting any more time, grab your cup of coffee or your drink or whatever that might be. Put your feet up and listen in. And today, my guest is Misty Giordano. I'm not actually going to say much about Misty now because I am absolutely excited that we have you with us today. And I know our guests are going to be so excited to really hear what you've got to say, Misty. So welcome, Misty, to Lead2XL podcast.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

Thank you, Maureen. Thanks so much for having me. I know that I'm here in the US in Chicago. I appreciate the fact that this was able to work out and you invited me on, and I'm so grateful for you.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

Oh, I'm so pleased that I could get you. And when I met you at Elevate in a meeting, I was absolutely amazed that you know the feedback you gave really struck with me. And I said, Oh, I've got to speak to you. So I'm so pleased we're able to really catch up. And then here we are. Um, yeah, different time zones. But honestly, it's so good to have you. So let's start by you just telling us who is Misty? What do you do? Who are you?

SPEAKER_01 2:08

Who am I? You know, it's so funny you ask that question like that because I feel like that is a daily question I get to ask myself all the time. Who am I today? Which which hat do I need to wear today? Um, so I am actually a uh a well-being specialist. So I basically do uh wellness trainings for the workplace, specifically around self-care and creating time for yourself, getting you back on your list through self-care constructs, not necessarily the practices. So my trainings are not about, you know, what to eat and how to move and all these different things. It's more about giving yourself the time. And I also do public programming around the same kinds of ideas using plants as medicine, but also um, you know, really embodying this human experience that we that we have and how to really make the most of it and how to show up to your life in a way that makes you feel alive and doing more of the things that make you happy because you will you're creating a really intimate relationship with yourself. And it's one of those things that we don't really we don't really learn to do very often. And it's oftentimes when we get later in life that we kind of turn around and we wake up one day and we're like, oh my gosh, I have no idea who I am. And I'm in a life that I don't know how I created. Like, what happened? Um, and so that's basically kind of in a nutshell what I do, who I am. I live in Chicago with me and my my pity for baby uh here. And we're just kind of we're living that pandemic life. We are we're loving the city, we're loving exploring and getting to, we're actually new to the city. Um, I'm a I'm kind of a suburbanite and a country girl that has actually moved into the city about seven months ago. So I have been loving getting to walk around and kind of having the city to yourself is is sort of amazing, to be honest with you.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

Yeah, I can imagine actually, because um everywhere is so quiet now. Actually, having said that, in the UK, we are coming out of lockdown. And I went into London recently and it was so busy, and I went, oh my gosh, you know, life is getting back again to um not quite as it was, but it's getting there again, kind of.

SPEAKER_01 4:12

Yeah, you know, I've been feeling that way as well. Uh and it's so funny because, okay, so I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. I don't really love the summer. Um, I am more like a fall and winter girl. I love the cooler weather, I love having a little bit more of a laxed schedule. And I feel like once like spring and summer hit, everybody's doing all the things. There's things all the time, there's parties, get together as family, you know, all this stuff. And then um, so we had that kind of life pre-COVID. And then COVID hit, world shut down, right? And we had all this time on our hands and we didn't have anything to do, you know, if you had work and you know, different things like that, that was still that was still the case. But in the, you know, in the grander spectrum of life, we didn't really have much to do. So we got this opportunity to like come back and just settle, which was so weird for most people, for me too. And then now that things are starting to pick back up again, things are starting to open up, we're coming out of this hibernation mode, but kind of trying to go back to the way it was, and it's almost kind of exhausting. It's almost like I don't, I don't really want to go back to being crazy and doing all that stuff anymore.

SPEAKER_00 5:17

Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. It's it's that worry of I don't really want that. I don't want to go back to what it was, but here we are. We've and I don't even think, I don't believe it would, but I think we're gonna get to some form of in-between. Um, but now let's talk about what you do because and I'm going to kind of go a bit back because I know when I met you, you said you've got an HR background.

SPEAKER_01 5:46

Yes, I worked in HR for about 10 years. Um years ago. So I kind of got out got out of HR in the corporate world. I was building my business on the side for the last four of it, and then I finally decided to kind of uh cut ties with the corporate world in that in that capacity and sort of see what life was like on my own.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

Yeah, no, that is amazing. And it's interesting you went from HR into doing what you're doing now, which is the self-care, which you started while you were still working in HR. So, what actually made you pick on self-care specifically? Yeah, why self-care? Because most people most people in HR would leave HR to go into some form of consultancy, but you kind of went into self-care. So, why self-care?

SPEAKER_01 6:33

So it's interesting, and there's a little bit of a bigger story to this. So, um, kind of going way back, uh, I actually grew up um with a mom who was amazing. She was the breadwinner, she had two to three jobs. She she raised me pretty much by herself with her family and different things. Um, but she was not the best at taking care of herself. And so she, I mean, the woman lived on hot dogs and coffee. Like I how her body didn't break down sooner, I'm not quite sure. Um, but so I saw her, you know, kind of do this lifestyle. And then when I was in eighth grade, she actually got diagnosed with bladder cancer. And so from the time I was in eighth grade until the time that she passed away when I was 33, she had this really long battle with um, you know, she had an opioid opioid addiction, she had the cancer, she had all these different things kind of going on. And so she was pretty much bedridden. Even when she was well, she really wasn't well. There was just lots of chaos that happened in that time frame. Um, and so, you know, growing up in that environment and kind of getting that front row view of what it actually looks like to not take care of yourself, I had a very interesting perspective. And so when I was working my corporate job and I was building my business on the side, I had I was married and you know, my marriage was kind of falling apart. I was starting to get sick. I was living a very stressful lifestyle. We had, we were always in debt. Um, you know, so there was, there was lots of stuff coming at me, and I felt like it was all on my shoulders. And so my body started to follow suit. So I started getting um diagnosed with different autoimmune issues. First it was um discoid lupus, and then it was Graves disease, and then it was, you know, this. And I had always been a sick kid growing up. Um, so I always had, you know, asthma, allergies, strep throat, you know, all these different things because, you know, in the world that my mom grew up in and that she raised me in, is it was kind of our very Western world. There's a magic pill to fix everything. And so, you know, that's kind of how I grew up. And I didn't really realize there was another way until I started getting sick. And I was kind of forced with, you know, kind of a crossroads. I either went down the road that I saw my mom go down, which I knew I didn't want to be, you know, I love my mother, but I did not want my end my life to end up the way that she was. Or I could do kind of something a little bit off the cuff and go the pathless traveled and see what was, you know, um, what was kind of down this path. And luckily at that point um in my career, in my life, I got introduced to um, of all things, essential oils, and I started learning about plants and using them to support your body, which opened me up to talking with health coaches. And then that opened me up to going to health coaching school to learn about food as medicine and lifestyle and all these different things, which opened me up to, you know, energy healing and shamanism and all these different really wonderful healing modalities, you know, energetic and otherwise, that really just helped to support the body. Um, and for a long time I was doing integrative medicine with everything that I was doing. So I was doing the best of, you know, Western and Eastern together to kind of help heal my body. Um, and it's, you know, I'm sitting here on the other end, you know, not being on medication and not, you know, being in a really good uh place of remission with with my autoimmune diseases. Um, but it was a really long, it was a really long struggle and it was a really long road. But, you know, from the HR perspective, um to get back to your question, is that, you know, self-care and mental health and um creating that intimate relationship with yourself in terms of just giving yourself the time to just be doesn't really exist in the workplace. Um, you know, I watched us bring in speakers and motivational speakers and doing these one and done trainings that were kind of just like, okay, we we did this and that's great. Um and it it wasn't that they were they weren't amazing. It was just I looked at it and like you just paid them an astronomical amount of money to do what? Like, what do we do? Um, and there was no real impact, there was no real change. And then, you know, through all of this, I realized there was such a pocket for me to kind of create a program, a series, workshops around everything that I used to sort of heal my own body, not as a fix-all, not as to treat, you know, or diagnose or cure, but just as like an interesting perspective of like, hey, you actually have more control than what you think. And if we can go back to basics and stop worrying about self-care being a never-ending to-do list, about making sure you meditate and go to yoga and get your massage and get your nails done and you know, all the outside stuff. If we work more on the internal stuff, if we more work more on our interior life and the relationship that we have with ourselves, that could actually unlock so many doors in terms of mental healing, physical, emotional, because it kind of all stems from what we're doing with ourselves day in and day out, not just on you know, a self-care Sunday, right? There was this this beautiful pocket where I was like, okay, you know what? This this is really needed, it's really useful, and it doesn't exist. Um, and so you know, somebody's going to create it at some time at some point. So why not it be me?

SPEAKER_00 11:19

Oh wow. Oh, thanks so much for sharing that and really sharing about your mom, that journey. And I what I find really fascinating, and I must really commend you, is the fact that you recognized that you had to make a decision. It's either you go down the same path or you do something different, and I think that's where a lot of people miss it, and it's you know, or lack the awareness, because you see, a lot of what you saw is wired into you. So if you didn't actually realize at that point that I, you know, I have a choice, and there's something you said in your book which I like, it says that we are the creators of ourselves. I think that's how you phrased it. Um, we are the creators of our own life, that was it. And um, now that I've mentioned your book, I'm gonna come back to it because you are the author of a book, and that's amazing. And you did say in that book, we are the creators of our own life, and I think that is just the key. The fact that realizing that you're not victims, because you could have easily seen yourself as a victim of life, or this is you know, I just accept the fact that this is the way things are because my mom went through it, so it's in my family accepted. And the fact is that if you did, you would have been on that same path, but you made a choice, and I must really commend you for doing that, and you know, for actually doing something about it, basically. So, coming back to what I've just mentioned, your book, the self-care survival guide for employers, which anyone can find on Amazon. So, please go get this book. You really have to. The self-care survival guide for employers, employees. Sorry. And that was another interesting thing. You did not because normally, like you just mentioned, employers bring in organizations, bring in consultants or trainers to come and do this one-day training and then they go. In fact, that's something else that we connected on. Um, but the fact is that you have now gone for actually helping employees, and it comes back to that whole thing of we are the creators of our own life. So I want you to kind of elaborate a bit on that. Why employees, why not employers, why not leaders, why not managers? Why have you gone for the people?

SPEAKER_01 13:53

Yes, well, because you know, it regardless where you are in a company, you're still an employee, right? You still have somebody to answer to. So literally, when you say employees, it can be anybody in the organization. It doesn't have to be, you know, the subordinates, it doesn't have to be, you know, the CEO or their CFO. Everybody, in my perspective, everybody is an employee of the organization. And so we all have to kind of take these pieces and do our because nobody's life looks the same. You know, my life looks completely different than yours, Maureen. So what works for me may not work for you. It might be an epic fail for you, and vice versa. And so, you know, when we do these trainings, a lot of times what happens is it can it kind of ends up being like a cookie-cutter blanket idea, and there's no implementation to it. And so it's really hard for people to, um, even if whatever you're saying is amazing, sometimes it's really hard for somebody to take it and implement it into their lives. And I realized this going through a lot of personal development, you know, in early on in my journey with my business and different things. I would read a lot of books. And at some point I realized I was having a conversation with someone and they said, you know, if you're reading all of these books, you're not actually putting them to use because they're pretty much all the same. And so some of the most amazing books that I've read are the ones that kind of invite you to implement what they're teaching into your life from, you know, whether it's journaling questions or, you know, different ways to kind of integrate. And um I was working with a a school district actually to think about bringing the trainings into their workplace. And that's exactly what they said. There's like, you know, the trainings are great from the people that we have brought them in, um, but there's no implementation, there's no integration, there's no hand holding, there's no um, I don't want to use the word accountability because I feel like the only person you could ever be accountable to is yourself. Because at, you know, at a different point, you're being accountable to somebody else and you're doing things for them instead of for yourself. Um, but there does need to be this element of implementation and the grander spectrum of things too is that doing work like this actually helps with company morale and culture and creating community within your organization. Because if we are working on just being better humans, right? If we're working on our self-care and constructs and working through different things that we're dealing with on a daily basis, it creates a container to be able to see somebody for the human that they are versus your HR or your subordinate or your teammate or your this or you're that, right? If you you get to connect on a different human level and sort of just be able to be a sense of support, even if it's just from you know, from a distance. And so it was it was there that I was like, this would eat this is a really great basis to be able to also train the hierarchy in the business, you know, the the C-suite, on how to create this going forward. Like maybe you do have, you know, a monthly or a bi-weekly powwow where it's literally just it's not work, it's all about like, hey, how's life going? What's going on? And you know, and so where you can create that personal connection where it's not just, you know, um, here's all the things that need to be done. Here you go. And it's you're more connecting on a human, on a human level. You're creating your emotional resilience and your um, you know, just that empathy in the in the connection.

SPEAKER_00 17:43

Oh wow, yeah. No, that that's actually says a lot in trend in in terms of how you are the one that is responsible for what you know, your own person, yourself, you are the one that is responsible for how you actually start taking that care of yourself, what you do for yourself. And I I'll come back to what you said originally in terms of employees, because that is so true. Everyone is an employee, and just coming to give a training that is a one size fits all doesn't work, and just giving training in terms of just delivering it and leaving people to then get on with it, also doesn't work. In fact, that is why in all the trainings that I do, there has to be an opportunity for people to implement it, make mistakes, ask questions relating to themselves. And it brings us to what you said. It has to start from within because information, like you know, when you give information, it's only information until it's then used to bring about some form of action that creates transformation. So coming back to how you help people with self-care, just talk us through what you actually do, you know, and some of the modalities that you use for self-care to really help people understand that they actually are in control, that they can take that control back and not be reliant solely on the employees. In fact, there's something else you said that I really liked in your book. You said people tend to look to others to fix them, help them, serve them, or make them better. And I I just love that because it's true in terms of when you're working, you then expect somebody else to you know look after you, somebody else to tell you when you can take a break, somebody else to tell you when you can take you should take a holiday, or somebody to tell you when you should leave work. In fact, one thing I would say is I've noticed how when a manager or leader works late, in fact, this is when we were even going into the office. In fact, it's even worse now that people are virtual, where you can, you know, a lot of people now there's it's kind of blurred because you can just stay on your computer till about 10 p.m. And people then feel that they're expected to do the same because their manager or leader is there, you know, constantly. So they've got to keep checking emails through the day. And the the fact is that it brings us back to this whole thing of you being responsible for your own self-care. So, can you just talk on that? How do you help people? How do people get through that, especially in this current time where with virtual working, it can just go on indefinitely? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 20:52

So, so you know, it's kind of funny, and I don't know how things are in Europe, but I know here in the US, uh, self-care has become like a buzzword. It's just that popular new phrase, it's the new Instagram thing. It's all about, you know, getting the massages and getting your nails done and going to the gym and you know, self-care Sunday and like all these different um fluffy, I call them fluffy things. They're they're great things, don't get me wrong, and they absolutely are all self-care. Um, you know, self-care, the way I see it, is this huge umbrella. And there's so many different things underneath, you know, that umbrella. For me, I always feel like um, you know, we're kind of slaves to doership. You know, we it's all about productivity, it's all about creating the to-do lists, it's all about, you know, the the model of how we how successful our day is is by how much stuff we got done, right? And so self-care in a lot of ways, for a lot of people, is another to-do list. It's to have good self-care, I need to do all of these things. And so for me, I have found the greatest benefit in not doing anything. So just giving myself the time to not do things has been life-changing for me. And it's hard. It is so hard because on any given day, at any given moment, you have so many things pulling at you. You know, if you are a parent or you have an animal or you have a house, you have a job, or you have the emails, and you have all these things, there is an infinite number of things that are pulling at you at any one time. So the real work actually comes in in creating the boundaries around that time for yourself and choosing that you are, you need to be able to have that time for yourself so that you can show up in those roles as the mom, as the dad, as the employee, as the, you know, the pet owner, the whatever, whatever roles you have in a different capacity, in a different headspace. Because when you don't, we tend To show up in those spaces, anxiety-ridden, stressed, sleep deprived, and we're not, we're not having a really good experience or a really good energy exchange with those roles or or who we who we get to be. So instead of working on the practices that you're, you know, you're giving yourself in that time, we just work on creating the construct. So literally just giving yourself the time. So, you know, during the series in the workplace and beyond, a lot of what I work on is, you know, creating a sacred space within your home, or um, you know, creating your morning and your evening routines, or taking an afternoon break, like a real one, you know, infusing joy and play back into your life, uh, getting back in touch with your inner child, like really loving your solitude time, not pandemic lockdown time, solitude time, like intentional solitude where you are intentionally doing things that make you happy. And it's just the relationship, you're building the relationship with yourself by just giving yourself the time to be. Um, because you know, the bigger, the bigger conversation that's not happening in a lot of places is that all this doership is really grinding on your nervous system and it's making you, it's making you stressed. And, you know, the tech time, oh my gosh, the amount of time that we have to spend in front of a computer or on a phone is ridiculous. And it's constantly grinding on our nervous systems, which is connected to every other system in our entire body. So, you know, we're in peril as a world, you know, with our immune systems because of all the things that are happening, right? So if we can kind of look below the surface and go, okay, what if my daily habits are actually being a detriment to this? And we can kind of look at that and go, oh, but this is in my control. And I can put boundaries around how much time I'm on my phone or how much time I spend in front of the computer or in front of the TV. And I can choose to go outside. I can choose to like leave my phone and just go for a walk. Um, you know, so there's all these different, there's different ideas of different ways. So it's more about just getting back to basics and giving yourself the time to do nothing. And it was interesting too, because it's um, there's, you know, as I mentioned before, there's all these different modalities that can help you be can can sort of help you be part of like your self-care team. Because even though, even though your life can change with one choice, right? I think there's a quote, a really beautiful quote. And I I can't remember who exactly said it, but they they said, you know, a totally different wife, a totally different life is only one choice away. And you think about every choice that you make is how you're creating your life to be. You know, of course, there's always outside circumstances that you don't choose that just kind of happen. Um, but that's how you kind of choose what life you want to go into is if something's not working, you get to pause and say, okay, let's choose something different and let's let's go in a different direction. It's not going to be easy because a lot of times we're in a habit, but we can make the choice to start working backwards and go a different path. And so what can be really helpful is even though that is a lot of doing our own work and spending time with ourselves and giving ourselves the time, it's also being able to have like a self-care team. And it's people that are helping you do life or helping you process through emotions. You know, there's nothing wrong with going to the therapy, whether it be talk therapy or, you know, energy healing or whatever works for you. Um, there's there's lots of people that can help and get kind of support in that way. And to something that you said about the book about always waiting for somebody else to change us or fix us, I think we miss the part of doing our work. We miss the part of choosing and spending time with ourselves. And instead, we put all of our faith into somebody else to change the world that we live in, right? And or our circumstances are different things. And then we get angry when it doesn't happen. Um, we see this happen all the time. And so, but we don't realize that we have so much responsibility over that. And it's just that's the hard part. It's easy to rely on somebody else. It's hard to rely on ourselves.

SPEAKER_00 26:26

That is uh that is true. That is really true. Can you define what self-care means to you?

SPEAKER_01 26:34

Self-care to me is actually just intention. Um, it, you know, we think about again, self-care being this list of different things from massages to nails to meditating to yoga. Um, but for me, self-care is literally anything that actually fuels you. So this could be how you wake up in the morning, it could be how you drink your coffee, it could be the time that you take, it can be the conversations that you have with your kids or your spouse or your friends or your family, it can be setting boundaries, it can be uh going to do something just because you want to.

SPEAKER_00 27:08

I like that. Anything that fuels you. Yeah, I like that because it's so true in terms of when you really start from that perspective, what gives you joy, what makes you happy, you know, that's it, and you brought it back to what I love so much. It's a choice, and you are the one that can make that choice. So when you focus on doing things that fuel you, you realize that you are the one, you've got the choice to do what you want to do, and not rely on other people giving you the permission to do it, it's taking that control back, and it brings us to what you said we are the creators of our own lives. So we've got the choice, we've got the control, and we can do it. And it's true, there are things that are outside our control that are external that we can do, but there are things that we can, and it's focusing on those things that we can control that really makes the difference. And I like the way you make the distinction between it's not just about you're going to have the massages, but again, if that's what fuels you, then fine. That that you know, that's it. But I like, and you did talk a lot about time, time, and I really want you to really kind of go deeper into that because that is the one thing a lot of people struggle with making time for themselves, creating that space where they can take that time out to sometimes do nothing. Um, and I think what I want you to talk about is giving people getting people to realize that they can and that it's okay, and that you know, actually in terms of work environment, because there's something else that you said in your book that I love, which is the fact that a lot of times we separate home self-care from self-care in the workplace. Because when it comes to being at home, a lot of times people are conscious or consciously do things or do things intentionally. But when it comes to the work, a lot of times people don't. But the problem now is that people are now working from home, so it's gotten worse, whereby work is now, I mean, home is now work. So people then forget to really take that time out. So I'll let you just speak on that bit.

SPEAKER_01 29:55

Yeah, no, I love that. So, so to kind of um give an answer, sort of a broad answer to all of the things that you just talked about, is when we actually work to create the constructs in our life. So, like when we're doing a morning and evening routine, that isn't just a morning and evening routine when we're working or when we're off or when we're, you know, home, or this is like constants in your life. It, you know, that is a morning routine has been something that I've done for years and I will not miss it. I don't care where I am in the world, I will never miss doing some kind of morning routine where I fuel up for myself because if I don't, my entire day is wonky. It doesn't feel right. I'm I feel like I'm off, I'm dizzy, like it's just so strange. And so for me, it's so important to do it that I don't ever want to not do it. And so when we look at all of these things and we're we're creating these times for ourselves, it's not necessarily to, you know, go big or go home and do all of these self-care constructs at once. It's kind of more about like, okay, what do I need? Like, what would make the biggest difference for me right now and choosing that thing and making it consistent. And then when it's consistent, where you don't even have to think about it, you just do it. Then we can add something else in. Um, I think a lot of what we do, especially when it comes to time, is that we feel like we have to completely overhaul our entire schedule and we have to, you know, make this entire new, really amazing self-care routine. And it's not consistent because it's not, it's not sustainable for our lives. It's too, it's like too much, you know? And so when we can kind of do things in bite-sized pieces and open up another, another door when we're ready, it can make all the difference because now we're working on it's almost like building a house. You have to dig the hole and pour the foundation, and then you know, you don't just slap up the walls and hope it stays up. It's, you know, it's it's kind of one of those things. So it's it's piece by piece, it's bit by bit. And this is this is a process that is um very evolutionary. So meaning that it's always going to change. So even though you might have a really great self-care routine, morning routine, whatever you want to call it today, life might change in another month. And you might have to change that a little bit, whether it be the time or the length or what you're doing in it. Um, different times in our lives call for different things. And so self-care is not strict in that way. Um, more, it's it's more giving yourself the time. It's not, and I think that's why I don't harp so much on what you're doing in the time. I don't really care what you're doing in the time. I trust that whatever you're doing in that time is whatever's going to fuel you. Um, and so it's more just having the time. And then you can kind of modify what you're doing in that time based on, you know, the day, the need, all these different things. Like, you know, my self-care routine is very different depending on where I am. And like for me as a woman, my menstrual cycle. Um, and so, you know, it's it, I kind of mold things around what my body's doing, how I'm feeling, how my energy level is. Um, and so when you can kind of start to create that, again, that intimate relationship with yourself, you start to tap into what is it that I need and how do I give myself that today? What boundaries do I need to create? What do I need for myself? And so, you know, with this time question, it's always a question that we all of us have. And I even I even toss it up as an excuse to like, oh my gosh, today's so busy, I don't have time. Um, but the reality is that we do. It's just that we're plugging that time into. So when I I challenge people, I say, you know, if you really want to know how much time you have, do a tech detox for a week. Only be on tech if you absolutely have to for work. Otherwise, put the phone away, don't turn on the TV, take the laptop out of the room and watch how much time you magically have. We have no idea how much time tech actually sucks from our lives. And not only that, but it almost, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but it almost feels like it numbs our brain out. We're like, you can't put two thoughts together. Um, I know if I'm, you know, I don't watch TV, but if I do, it's it's like an intentional watching a movie or something like that. And I can always tell the next day because I feel so like foggy, it's the weirdest thing. And so, you know, you can start to play with this with your energy levels, with how much time you have, and magically you have all this time. It's the craziest thing.

SPEAKER_00 34:05

Yeah, yeah, no, that is so powerful. I like that, and it's so true though, because when you are focused on usually doing things that you know, when you're when you're watching things or or doing things on your phone or all those tech things that you feel are not tasking, they're actually quite tasking on the brain, and that's why the whole funkiness comes around because you think they're not, but they are taking, they're using using a lot of energy, yes, which you you you could even be using to do something more productive, or even just stopping to just think or or relax. So, yeah, that's that's so true.

SPEAKER_01 34:49

Yeah, and it's it's it's interesting too with the nervous system, too, just kind of going back to that is it's not even just the light exchange, but it's also the information exchange, what we're absorbing and what we're hearing. And you know, that can kind of trigger all kinds of different emotions and different, you know, comparison. And you know, we see the pictures on Instagram. I think we've all been there where we see something on social media and it triggers a reaction, whether it's anger or fear or jealousy or whatever, and all of a sudden your great day has just gone down the toilet.

SPEAKER_00 35:16

That is that is so that is so true, and um, you know what that's one thing that I kind of really get passionate about with you know just even training, because when you are watching things or listening that and they're you're taking them in passively, they're being they're wiring in your brain, and you're right, because one day what they end up doing is connecting with things that are stored in your subconscious in memory, and that can trigger different reactions. And it's you find you people finish watching something or listening to something, and then suddenly the emotion changes instantly, and you're not sure why, but it's something you've listened to that has gone in passively and um suddenly created this whole wiring that's created emotions, your hormones are now activated and it creates a whole spiral of other things. So, in fact, that is why it's so important, and now that you said this, I'm kind of linking it. The self the self-care is really being very careful about what you're taking in, what you're listening to, what you're absorbing, and it brings, you know, it's awareness, it's really being very self-aware of you know, not just things that you're doing, but things that are going into your brain, things that you're thinking about, things that you're hearing. It's so important to be so self-aware of those. And you know, for me, I would say, you know, listening to you, and it's self-care is really protecting yourself in a way. And I know you've talked about boundaries quite a bit, and we've not kind of gone specifically into boundaries at work and boundaries, but self-care is really creating those boundaries in every aspect of your life so that you are really taking care of you and being responsible for taking care of yourself and really recognizing that it's within your control, and you are the one that has to make the choice um to do it. Um so oh no, that is um I really enjoyed speaking with you about this because self-care is just something that a lot of times people don't do, and you know, like you said, just give the responsibility or expect other people to give them the permission to do it. Um, so in terms of your routine, just give me, just give us a tip about what it looks like. Um, so what does your morning routine look like? What does your evening routine look like? Just a tip, an overall example of what that is.

SPEAKER_01 38:12

Yeah, so I um, as I mentioned, kind of in the in the beginning, I'm actually new to Chicago. So this was another pivotal thing where my self-care routine kind of had to change because I uh so I have a dog and I lived in the country where he had free roam outside in a fenced-in yard and a doggy door. I didn't have to walk him. He, you know, so my whole routine kind of got messed up a little bit because now I have a dog who has to go out all the time and go for walks and different things, which is great because it actually gets me out into the city and walking around and different things. Um, but so you know, the one thing I will say that a lot of my my self-care fluctuates. Um, but the one thing that is always constant is that I will always do a morning routine and it'll always be about an hour or so. And I've realized that, you know, I do my best work in the afternoon and the early evening. The morning time is like very sacred to me. So this is the time where I am the most like intuitive and creative. So, you know, in terms of boundaries going back there, I block off my mornings specifically for me. Um, there is there's very few times where I will make exceptions, and it has to be like a really good exception uh to be able to show up in a way because that fuels me. That actually creates me, Misty, to be a different uh experience for somebody that's in front of me when I've done what I needed to do to fuel myself up versus if I'm, you know, tired and rushed and you know, all of these different things. Um, so the morning routine 100% is great. The other thing that I that I do is I've switched my mindset when it comes to movement. So I historically have been like a strength training girl. I'm I'm Italian, I tend to bull, I tend to build muscle pretty easy. Um, but because of my grapes disease, I can't do high intensity like cardio because my my thyroid, my metabolism is already high as it is, my body's running hot. And so I've had to work with my body and figure out what I can actually do that feels good that isn't going to burn me out the rest of the day. And so what I've been doing is reformer Pilates, which has actually been a great way to move my body in a way that feels good and does all those really wonderful mental, um, has those mental benefits. So I move more for mental health than I do for physical health, even though the physical health, of course, follows suit. Um, but so it's it's just sort of like a different change in perspective of how it is that you're approaching your day. Like, what is it that you actually need? Um, and you know, if you need to move your body, what way can you move your body in a way that feels good? Like maybe you just have a dance party. I have dance parties by myself in my kitchen when I'm making dinner all the time. It's a great time. Um, but yeah, so that that is definitely, and you know, of course, I'm always cognizant of trying to eat as clean as I can, um, you know, even though I live in Chicago, which is like, you know, the food mecca of the world. So I I fall off that wagon all the time. Um, but you know, for the most part, I'm feeding my body and doing things that actually fuel it versus deplete it, even though, you know, of course, I make exceptions all the time. Um, but you know, it's always one of those things. We are humans and we are are kind of wired to fail all the time. And it's okay. Like failing is cool. Failing is awesome because we get to try again and we just get to be like, okay, well, that didn't work. Let's do something different. Something we learn from it, don't we? Yeah, we do, absolutely. But I'm actually curious about yours more than I'm gonna turn that question back on you. How about your self-care? I want to hear about yours.

SPEAKER_00 41:27

You know, one of the things you said that I like, which I which I started doing was actually blocking out that time. So for me, in the morning, I'm a morning person. So I get up and I have to really study the word and meditate because I'm a Christian, so I really study the word, meditate on the word, and just take time to just think and listen and do nothing for at least an hour. And then, you know, once I get up, you know, then that whole morning I kind of block it out of my calendar. So I don't really book meetings in the morning, and I use that time to do a lot of um, I would say deep thinking um as well. And I kind of do that every day. Um, exercise. That's where I put in my exercise. I'm not great at exercising, but I've been better during the pandemic um of at least doing some form of exercise before I start my day, or moving, or walking, or um getting on the exercise bike or doing something. But I've realized now that if I don't do it, I I the whole the rest of the day kind of goes floppy, um, which is really um interesting. But again, I can understand why that happens because once you get into a routine, the body, your brain is wired for that routine. But when you don't do it, it's it's reminding you basically because something isn't working, which is why it's good to really push through when you're starting a new process or new routine. It's keep going till it becomes uh effortless, because that is where the wiring really occurs, and then it becomes you know, that's how you can build the consistency, but it's so easy to start and stop. But the key is to just keep going till it become you you feel uncomfortable not doing it, and yeah, and I think that's I'm glad I've managed to get to that point with exercises as well. And you're right, even um eating well, I've really made sure that that you know, I do that really, I would say in the last year I've been really good at watching what I eat so that it becomes more of a lifestyle as opposed to dieting, you know, consistently off and on. Um, so yeah, it's you know, I for me it's just like you said, self-care is really important in terms of looking after our bodies, looking after our minds, looking after emotions, and then looking after ourselves in terms of the work we're doing and making sure that you know what we're doing is right for us, and not kind of doing things because we feel that's what's expected of us. It's really flipping it that it's really what is right.

SPEAKER_01 44:30

So I love that you mentioned that because I think that's that's one of the things that's so important and why. I do things the way that I do them, is it's kind of just it's almost like a menu offering. Like it's like you go to a restaurant, you see all the things on the menu, and you get to choose whatever it is that you want. And so, you know, even though it's, you know, there's all these different practices and all these different constructs and these ideas, they're not all going to work for you. And so it's it's almost like a choose your own adventure, right? So you pick one thing, you try it on, you see how it feels. And if it works, great, keep it. If it doesn't, try it, try something different. Um, but I think, you know, one of the things that you mentioned too is that, you know, it's such, and I love that you you shared your your morning routine and your um your different things because it's it's huge. And I find that a lot of people struggle with the morning and the evening routines. They're either really great at one of them and not so great at the other, or they kind of they have trouble doing both. Um, but if you can kind of just, like you said, pick one thing, go in and see how it feels, because I think the time that you get to spend with yourself, you start to become more intuitive with yourself and what you need and what's working and what's not. And I think that is the power in self-care is that it became you become more aware of how you feel and what you think and what's right for you and what's wrong with for you. Um, you know, the interesting thing that, and I know you mentioned this a little bit ago, but the interesting thing that I'll kind of I'll mention also is that, you know, we've we've talked a lot about how self-care is all nourishing and fueling and all these really wonderful things, and it is, but you also run up against like those shadow parts of you, the pe the pieces where there's like hidden anger, there's grief, there's loss, there's um, you know, there's just frustration, there's all these different things. Um, but my friend Tara, who actually is a really powerful energy healer, she's helped me in so many different ways. One of the things that she talks about is how that piece of it, when you run up against something that feels icky, it's an invitation to do something different. It's not something to suppress. It's it's almost like another awareness of like, hey, hi, this isn't working and we need to figure out a different way to do this. And so if you look at that as an invitation to do, to have a different inspired action versus something that's just going to make you fester, it can be completely, completely different. Because we, you know, that I think that is probably one of the things that keeps people from doing their own self-care and being more on top of things, is the fact that they do run up against these feelings and these thoughts and you know, all these things, and it kind of scares them away. And like, oh, if I just don't do the self-care, I don't have to deal with any of this. But real self-care is dealing with both, it's dealing with what you're feeling and kind of all those deeper layers because they're gonna come up.

SPEAKER_00 47:02

They will come up, and yeah, yeah, you're I like what your friend says because it's it's true, they will come up, and the key is to actually now realize that okay, they and you can you can do you can deal with it different ways. It's telling you that there's something that isn't working, so it's either you now look at it and then decide to change to something else, or you might want to dig a bit deeper into why is it not working? Is it something that I just need to reprogram? Uh is it something I need to, you know, because it might just be a narrative that you've created that just needs to change about something, or something that has happened that you're still holding on to that you probably just need to let go. But it's it, you know, it's I like the I like the way you said it. Don't run away from it, it's it's it kind of outdoor rather, don't suppress it. It might just mean that you need to change and do something different. That is that is true, that is great. Wow, we have gone on and on, and I and the way I'm looking at it, I could we could just go on for another hour, but we do need to stop, unfortunately. But um, it's really been great having you on.

SPEAKER_01 48:16

Thank you so much, Maureen. This was a wonderful conversation. I loved it so much, and I appreciate you so much for again for inviting me on and all your wonderful wisdom. Your listeners are amazing getting to have you all the time.

SPEAKER_00 48:26

Oh no, it's really a pleasure. Thank you so much. It's really great. So now that we're we've come to the end, can you just give us give our listeners something that to take away relating to self-care? One last tip, one last word of wisdom, something to hold on to.

SPEAKER_01 48:44

Yes. Uh, so I feel like this would be just to take an actual break every day. One break where you leave your phone and you go outside, you take a walk, you lay in the grass, depending on where you're at. Um, you know, you do something that is going to fuel you, even if that something takes five minutes. Time is of the essence. Sometimes we don't have, you know, sometimes we only have little pockets of time. But if we can actually just maximize the minutes that we do have, it can make all the difference in the world. It can help kind of help recalibrate you and everything too. So that would be my one thing is to every single day, weekends, weekdays, work, not work, whatever it is, make sure that you take a break by yourself. And so you get to start spending some time with you.

SPEAKER_00 49:30

Yeah, I love that. And block that time out and you know, block it out and do it. And there's something you said before we finish, which I kept, I you know, I need to really emphasize is the fact that you can adapt, you can change, it's not fixed. Um, so if you start something and you find that you need to change it or adjust it or change the timing, do it. But start by what Missy said block it out and start and just do something. And then you might need to adjust it, but just be consistent. Thank you so very much. Lots of nuggets you've given us. So, how can people find you? Where can they find you? Your website or LinkedIn, or where can they find you?

SPEAKER_01 50:13

Yes, so you can actually find my website by www.lovyourlife with misty.com. And from there, there is the self-care in the workplace offerings. There is my 10-week how to human experience that we are actually launching in June. That is actually the souped-up version of the workplace trainings, uh, coming to you virtual with a bunch of bonus facilitators uh with bonus workshops and different things around healing modalities. It's going to be a really fun time. You can always get the self-care survival guide for employees on Amazon. That is wonderful. You can connect with me on LinkedIn. All of my social media channels are Love Your Life with Misty. I would love to hear from you. You can also sign up for my newsletter and get a free chapter of the book. And so if you do that, that's actually on my website. If you go back to the website and sign up for the bi-weekly uh self-care apothecary newsletter, you'll get that as well in your inbox. And so I would love to connect with you.

SPEAKER_00 51:07

Oh, thank you so much. And I'm going to put all the details in the description. So if you need any, yeah, just look in the description and you'll find them there. Thank you again, Misty. Thank you so much for having you. Thank you. It was all mine.

SPEAKER_01 51:20

Thank you, Maureen.

SPEAKER_00 51:22

Okay, three things before we finish today. Have you subscribed to this podcast? If you haven't, make sure you click that subscribe button wherever you listen to this podcast. Because once you subscribe, you will not miss an episode. And as usual, if you have a topic you would love me to speak about or bring a guest on, do let me know by leaving a review. Finally, do have a fantastic week and remember that you are limitless. So I look forward to seeing you in our next episode. Bye for now.