Lead To Excel Podcast
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Through thought-provoking conversations, practical insights and biblical wisdom, explore the thinking patterns that shape your decisions, relationships, career, faith and sense of purpose.
Discover how to move beyond limiting beliefs, develop emotional mastery and intentionally practise new ways of thinking and responding.
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Lead To Excel Podcast
Create Powerful Transformation and Overcome Imposter Syndrome with Michele Molitor- E60
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I am joined this week by - Michele Molitor, the Founder and CEO of Nectar Consulting Inc., and co-author of the best-selling book “Breakthrough Healing.”
Michele is an expert at helping business professionals remove the blocks created by imposter syndrome to help them achieve greater success, well-being, and career satisfaction.
Listen as we discuss how to tame your 'Amygdala' and overcome Impostor Syndrome.
Michele’s unique Rapid RewiringTM approach is a culmination of years of study in the realms of emotional intelligence, neuroscience, organizational psychology and Rapid Transformational Therapy. She helps catalyze shifts in thinking and eliminate mental/emotional blocks to rapidly rewire your brain for greater confidence and success.
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Connect with Michele Molitor:
Website: https://michelemolitor.com/
Leadership Development: https://nectarconsulting.com/
LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelemolitor/
Rewire for Success Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RewireForSuccessWithMichele
Stay Connected with Maureen
Website: https://www.maureenchiana.com
Training Academy: https://www.themindsightacademy.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/maureenchiana/
Let's have a chat:
Book a Free Consultation Call: https://calendly.com/maureen-77/30min
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Maureen Chiana
We hear things, people say things to us, and we take that on as truth when it's not true. And then those beliefs that we're holding of I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy, I'm not deserving, etc., um, they end up being the roadmap that we end up walking along our path on to protect us, courtesy of our amygdala, right? That fight, flight, or freeze mechanism in our brain.
SPEAKER_01Hey there, Maureen Cherna here, founder of the MindSight Academy, neurocoach to executives, leaders, entrepreneurs, and a neuroleadership trainer using insights from neuroscience to help you deliver results by learning to work smarter, be in control of your brain, manage yours and others' emotions, change behaviors, flourish, and exceed expectations. Welcome back to another episode of Lead to Excel Podcast. I am so thrilled to be with you today because we are going to be discussing a very important topic. But before we get into that, remember to subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen to it. Because it will help other people find it and give them the opportunity to understand how they can rewire their own brain to enable them to achieve their goals. So without wasting any more time, grab your cup of coffee or your drink or whatever that might be, put your feet up and listen in. I'm so excited today to welcome to the Lead to Excel podcast, Michelle Molitor. I met Michelle, um, we shared a stage talking about imposter syndrome. And you know, I spoke, met up with her later, spoke with her, and she literally is like my sister from another mother. You know, and um there's something Michelle said the other day that got me so excited, which when we were talking, and she said, rewire for success. And I went, oh my god, I said that. I used that. That is so amazing. So I am so pleased to welcome you to this podcast, Michelle.
SPEAKER_00Oh, thank you so much, Maureen. I am thrilled and delighted to be here with you, my dear.
SPEAKER_01So, yes, Michelle, I'll let you introduce yourself and then we'll get into this podcast.
SPEAKER_00Sure. So I have been an executive confidence coach now for 20 years. Um, and over the last uh five years, I don't know, I've lost count. Um, I've also incorporated to my work um a unique form of hypnotherapy called rapid transformational therapy. So I've rolled it all up into one and what I call rapid rewiring. So essentially I work with individuals to help get at the deep, deeply held subconscious blocks that are getting in their way of their success. And then organizationally, I work with um leaders and their teams to um help them rewire their thinking. How do they work together? How do they um flow as a team and create greater um employee well-being and leadership well-being? So everybody's rowing in the same direction um at a time.
SPEAKER_01That is so amazing. So, Michelle, where are you based? Where do you live?
SPEAKER_00I'm in the San Francisco Bay Area here in sunny California.
SPEAKER_01Oh, wow. And I'm here in the UK miles away, but sisters, that's amazing. So, yes, Michelle, um, can you uh, you know, we we we've talked quite a bit about different things you do, and I'm gonna um try and touch on quite a few things because you talk a lot about rewiring, which is so dear to me. So, in how did you get into what you do at the moment? What was the journey there? How what made you start doing what you're doing?
SPEAKER_00Sure. Well, I um I kind of um stumbled into becoming a coach. I was a creative director in web development in my former life in technology. And long story short, I essentially got bullied out of my um highfalutin, uh high-tech job. And it was really, really um devastating to me. It really crushed my confidence, um, shattered my sense of who am I, and um created a huge case of imposter syndrome. And I discovered coaching to help me figure out what to do next. And in the process of being coached, I was like, oh, all it was like all the cells in my body came into alignment and my spirit said, yes, this is what you're supposed to be doing. So I went on to get trained and certified, and I've been geeking out on human development ever since. And over the years, I've always been looking at new and different modalities and um, how do we be the best humans that we can be? Um, grounded and authentic and doing what we love and loving what we do, because that's, I think, as humans, that what's what we're really here to do. And um, as I mentioned earlier, several years ago, I discovered this process called rapid transformational therapy for myself to move some of my own bugs and blocks out of the way. And in the process of doing that work, it literally changed my life in a matter of a few short weeks. It was so mind-blowingly powerful. I immediately went on to get trained and certified as well and combined it with my work so that um I can help people get at those deeper levels of blocks. Because having been a coach for so many years, um just like with talk therapy, um, you're talking to someone in their conscious mind, right? And oftentimes the bugs and blocks in our system are held very deeply tucked away in those dark corners of our subconscious mind. And we don't even know that they're there, right? I mean, that's what I learned. I had a deeply held belief of I'm not enough that I didn't even realize was there. And so through this um this work, I was able to move that belief out of the way, literally rewrite it at a neuropath um level in my brain and overwrite those old beliefs with of course I'm enough, of course I believe in myself, of course I'm worthy, deserving of success. And doing that in literally in such a short period of time, it not only transformed my beliefs and myself, but it transformed my business and how I show up as a leader and a speaker and an author and so many different things. So um it is amazing what our minds do to protect us, the beliefs that we create, oftentimes at a very young age, um, because when we're, you know, between the ages of zero to seven or eight, our brains are just sponges. They're just taking in all that information, and we don't have the ability to discern. Um, and and so we hear things, people say things to us, and we take that on as truth when it's not true. And then those beliefs that we're holding of I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy, I'm not deserving, et cetera, um, they end up being the roadmap that we end up walking along our path on to protect us, courtesy of our amygdala, right? That fight, flight, or freeze mechanism in our brain. So um, when you can identify those root causes where those beliefs came into play, you can literally um eliminate, neutralize the emotional charge and tell your brain something different and create a whole different path forward. It's it's really quite astounding.
SPEAKER_01Wow. So let's let's dig a bit into that. Um, because I was actually you touched on it, but I'm going to still gonna ask the question so you can kind of explain it a bit more. Because what you said is absolutely spot on about information that comes into the brain. And like you said, when we're up to about age seven, our brain is literally like a sponge. But even as we go growth go through life, our brain is taking in so much from the environment without us consciously being aware, and it's all stored in the subconscious brain, and the subconscious brain is what drives about 90 to 95 percent of what we do. So, how does RTT, which is rapid transformation therapy, actually work to start rewiring what's there? How do you? I think the question is more how do you work with people to start using that and what does it actually do? And how do you identify? Sorry, I was I'm kind of saying the question and trying to make it clear for myself as well. So I'm saying it and my brain is ticking away. So when they when people come to work with you, how do you identify what needs rewiring? And then how do you get into using the RTT to then do that?
SPEAKER_00Sure, those are great questions. Um, so I always offer a complimentary and confidential discovery call with um a potential client, Maureen. So I can listen and hear what they're being challenged with currently, right? I have a short set of questions that they would fill out. So they can tell me, you know, I'm dealing with this thing, right? Um, and it might be, um these are some common ones: anxiety, depression, um, feeling like a fraud, not feeling good enough. Um, those are manifesting in the world as um hiding out, um, not asking for that raise or promotion. It might even manifest as physical challenges like IBS, inflammatory bowel syndrome, or arthritis, or psoriasis, or neck-back pain, chronic migraines. These are all things that clients have come to me with. And they want to move those things out of the way. They've most often my clients say, Please help me. I've tried everything. I don't know what else to do. And they're they're in a lot of pain and suffering. And so once we have that initial session and they say, Yes, I really would like to work with you, then um, I have a another set of uh even deeper dive questions that we go through, right? And that that guides us to what we need to work on. So I typically work with folks over 90 days, and we start with a um a first and a deep dive intake session. Then we have our first RTT session, which is a two-hour session. I do it all over Zoom, so I'm able to work with people all over the world. And in that first two-hour RTT session, what I'm essentially doing is helping them get into a very relaxed state. It's an alpha brainwave state. It's that half awake, half asleep place, right? Um, also known as trance or hypnosis. And in that state, they're awake, they're able to answer my questions, um, but their body just feels very, very relaxed. It's like as if you just woke up from a nap. You're like, oh yeah, I don't really want to move yet. That really yummy place. And in that state, I'm actually able to talk directly with their subconscious mind, bypassing the critical judging mind that is on in our waking hours. Yeah. And your subconscious remembers everything that's ever happened to you. It's all neatly categorized and cataloged in there, right? So um I'm simply asking some questions and helping the client um bubble up to the surface the thoughts, the memories, the events in their lives that created these events. Now it's very important that your listeners understand I'm not having you rehash it, I'm not having you relive it. We're just, it's almost as if we're reviewing it on a computer screen, right? Discovering, like, oh wow, okay, this thing that my brother said to me when I was six made me take on this belief that I'm not worthy or I'm not deserving, whatever it might have been, right? And so um we identify some of those root causes, and then the client is able to clearly start to see how those scenes connect, how they created the beliefs that they're carrying with them that have created the manifestation in their current life of um, you know, anxiety, depression, physical issues, right? Yeah. Now, the really cool thing is in the state of this alpha brainwave state, your mind doesn't know the difference between what's real and what's imagined. So we're literally having you rewrite the scene, right? Whatever the scene was that created the belief, we're gonna rewrite it, rescript it, reimagine it to the way you would like to have felt, right? Overwriting and neutralizing the former emotional charges around that event. And as we're going through all this, I'm taking lots of notes, writing down um different keywords, right? And so from there, essentially we move into the last portion of the call. It's about the last 30 minutes. Um, and I'm taking all of those words and um things that we've discovered, and I'm weaving them into what I call my transformation recording. And this is the last 30 minutes. I take it, I mix in binaural and music. And in this recording, I'm instilling new empowering beliefs, habits, and thoughts, right? You are enough. You believe in yourself, you love yourself, you're nurturing yourself so that you can be the most amazing leader you can be, right? And I give clients that recording, and then they listen to it every night as they're drifting off to sleep for 30 days, right? And now the reason why we do this is because your brain likes repetition, right? So the more you think a thought, the more true that thought becomes for you, right? It's like, why we can still remember the words of songs from 30 years ago, right? Because it drops it down into our long-term memory. So the process of listening to this very relaxing recording as you drift off to sleep is vital because your subconscious mind is always listening, right? It's always on and it's just taking in this information and it's rewiring those new neural pathways. Now, we each month over 90, over the 90 days, we have an RTT session and then three coaching sessions. And the coaching enables the client to unpack the shifts and the changes that are happening because sometimes they're very subtle. Sometimes they're they're huge and tremendous. I've had clients reach out to me the next day after our RTT session, telling me best 24 hours ever, right? Because the transformations can happen that quickly, and sometimes they're more subtle, right? So the coaching helps them process what's coming up, right? Because it tends to bubble up other stuff as well. And then we're starting to put new strategies for success into place. So at the end of the 90 days, they've had three RTT sessions. They've had 10 coaching sessions with me, and they have let go of the big boulders and blocks that have been keeping them stuck inside of their not so comfortable comfort zone, and enables them to see themselves on a whole new way, feeling lighter and brighter and more energized with whatever the challenge was that they came to me with. So it's really phenomenal to watch people transform before my eyes.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, no, that is a mess. I can imagine. And how long would this last for in terms of after you work with them? Because, you know, one of the things we always say is it's repetition that rewires the brain. So, and I know that using that tape, especially at night, before you're drifting off to sleep, at that alvo is so powerful. But um, so when they do all this with you, do you find that they then go off? And do they need to continue um working on it or do they need to continue listening to the tape? Or how does how do you ensure that that transformation is sustained?
SPEAKER_00Sure. Well, that's why the recording is so invaluable because it is dropping those new beliefs down into your long-term memory, which is what creates that long-term positive effect, right? So I had um one client who came to me with a lack of confidence issue. And we were able to flip that on his head. He was able to leave his job, start his own business with his wife, and he's thriving now. And he reached back out to me, I don't know, probably six, nine months after our initial work together. He said, Should I, should I keep listening to my recording? I'm like, if you want to. He's like, I'm gonna try it. I'm like, okay, we'll make a science experiment, right? So he started listening to it again. And then he wrote me, he said, about a week later, uh, he said, you know, I realized I didn't need to listen to it anymore. But my body was like, I'm good. Right. So your body will tell you what you need, but um oftentimes um as you rewire the beliefs about yourself, it creates these um long-term sustainable new ways of being, which has a really positive impact on your mental and physical well-being as well.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. Thank you so much for that. That is that is something. Now, I want us to kind of move a bit and go into imposter syndrome. More because, one, that's how we met, and two, it's something that affects so many people, male and female. Um, before we get into it, can you just um kind of give us a definition of imposter syndrome from your perspective?
SPEAKER_00Sure. Imposter syndrome is that pesky wake you up in the middle of the night feeling that is whispering in your ear, who am I? I don't know. Do I know enough? Am I getting it right? I feel like a fraud. Someone's gonna find out that I don't have all the answers, right? And that persistent nagging voice creates a level of anxiety, frustration, impatience, worry, fear, all of which impacts your your health and your well-being as well. So it leaves you in this constant state of I'm gonna be found out. I'm gonna be found out. So it is um very pervasive. Um, 70% of adults um deal with it at some point in their career. 25% of high achievers are contending with it. So you're not alone, my friends. You know, um, we all think we're like, oh, but you probably turn left and right and find four other people in the room with you who have dealt with it or are dealing with it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think that's that's really important to point out that you're not alone because so many people have either are dealing with it or have had to deal with it in the past. So, what causes imposter syndrome?
SPEAKER_00Imposter syndrome is caused by a variety of different triggers, right? Um, it might be your family of origin, right? It might be the, I always call it the water that you swim in. When you're a child, you're in whatever your environment you're in, good, bad, or ugly, right? Um, and the words, the actions, the behaviors of the people around you have an impact on you. Yeah. And and it creates those, um, it plants those seeds of who am I? And am I good enough? Am I am I deserving, worthy of success? Can I do this, etc., which then you know blossoms as you become an adult. Um, so that's a that's a big one. Um, another one is um that sense of belonging. If you um are in any kind of um group or category, so you have a different color skin, you have a different ethnicity, you have a different religion, you have some kind of learning disability, um, you know, the LGBQ community, and the list goes on, right? They, all of these groups, it it creates a an us and them. It creates an other, right? And it it leaves us feeling like we don't belong. Um, and it has a huge ripple effect in so many ways, um, personally and professionally, right? Um, some other um ways that that um can be triggered are um let's see, you know, just social pressures being part of a group or social circle which offers conditional acceptance based on your achievements. And that can start in an early age. I mean, we're looking, you know, we're all watching the Olympics right now, and that's a great example of, you know, we got to do what you got to do to fit in. And goodness gracious, um God forbid we step outside of those lines, right? You get ostracized. Um, and you know, bless Simone Biles' heart for standing up for herself and saying, nope, this doesn't work for me, right? Um let's see, societal norms, right? Um, particularly as women, right? There's a lot of male-dominated industries, such as technology, just for example, right? So there's gender bias that comes in, both explicit and subtle forms that can make it very easy for highly skilled, successful women to um to fall prey to this imposter syndrome. I've I've worked with so many, you know, high-powered um successful uh businesswomen, executives who still feel like they're not good enough in some way. Um and it it's astounding. It's really, really astounding. So those are just some of the folks, some of the ways that it can show up.
SPEAKER_01No, thanks so much. But you've touched on an interesting point though, and it's one that a lot of people ask me about why would someone so successful be suffering from imposter syndrome?
SPEAKER_00That is a great question, and we all have those internal fears and self-doubts, right? There's a great book called The Confidence Code, written by um Katy Kay and Claire Shepherdson. They are international reporters, they interviewed and researched powerful women all around the world. And um women in some of the highest ranks um of government um and society all said, yes, I have a lack of confidence and I don't want anybody to find out, right? So it's it's amazing because of those beliefs that we have, even though we've we've achieved all of these things, and this is a classic sign of imposter syndrome. You might have all of these accolades, right? But you might still not feel like you're worthy enough or good enough. And oh, well, I was just lucky, or I just happened to be the right place at the right time, right? So we don't take on and own our successes a lot of because of the social programming that we've received, you know, everywhere.
SPEAKER_01Oh wow, thanks so much. It's it's really important though, because um, like you said, it's the culturally, societally, it's in a lot of things that we take in end up putting pressure on us and making and making us make creating behavior patterns in us that become hindering or that hinder our progress and hinder things we want to achieve. So, how do you work with people who have imposter syndrome? How do you help them? And I think I'm curious to see if you use the RTT to help them and how that pans out. So, how do you help people with imposter syndrome?
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. Well, my my 90-day rapid rewiring process is at the heart of it, right? It's really helping them understand where that belief originates, yeah, and then rewriting that belief, right? Because the truth is you are absolutely enough. You matter, your voice matters, your contributions matter. And somewhere along the way, so many of us forget that because we shielded ourselves, we protected ourselves from outside forces that felt threatening to us, right? And we forget these core truths of who we are. And so my job is simply to remind people, to help them remember who they are at their essence and to allow themselves to put down the shields and the protective mechanisms that Amy, their amygdala, put into place so many years ago, right? Um, just to try to keep them safe, because that's her job, right? It's just to keep you alive and safe and on the planet. And Amy can't discern, right? So as we become adults, oftentimes we kind of hit that wall, no matter what it is, of this isn't working for me anymore. I have to do something different. And so when you hit that wall, the best thing you can do is start to look at, okay, well, what do I need to do differently? And what are the beliefs that are underlying that behavior that are actually causing the problem?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. We've got to tame Amy. If not, Amy will tame us, basically.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, she runs us ragged, man.
SPEAKER_01She does, she does. And uh it's it, I like what you said because the subconscious brain is so imaginative, you know. And I kind of use the example that just see how we human beings have created so much, created an airplane that defies gravity. You know, we are very creative, but the same way we can be creative in positive things, if we don't control our subconscious brain, it would be creative in the negative things, which then can present itself as imposter syndrome. And it's it's really interesting the stories that people tell themselves when it comes to things like imposter. And it's all perceived, it's not real. And the fact is that you did mention this at the beginning, that the subconscious brain doesn't know the difference between perceived and factual. So we are the ones that have to do that, you know, and and I think you using the RTT is a fascinating way of really creating new wiring um in the brain and um getting rid somehow of the um negative wiring that we don't really need. So um thank you so much. And I think we are coming to the end, Michelle, but I really want you to talk to our or tell our listeners how you how they can reach you, how they can um find you and work with you, because imposter syndrome is a big thing. You do you do help different, you know, different people with different issues, but I think the key thing is how will they find you? How can they work with you? How do I know you've talked about the attitude terms of how you help people, but are there any other things you do, workshops or anything you do that people can tap into? And I know you've got some fantastic e-books that people can um access. I'm gonna put the description in the I'm gonna put the link in the description, but you can just mention it as well, please.
SPEAKER_00Sure. So um I would invite anyone to come on over to Michelle Molotor.com, M-I-C-H-E-L-E-M-O-L-I-T-O-R.com. Um and Nectar Consulting. Those are both my websites. Um Michelle Molotor.com talks all about the individual work that I do, the rapid rewiring work that I do to help um overcome imposter syndrome. Nectar Consulting is focused more on the leadership development work and employee well-being work that we do with my whole team of consultants. So come on over. Um, you can uh check out my calendar there and um schedule some time for us to have a complimentary and confidential discovery call. You can also access uh my latest ebook, um, Do You Have Imposter Syndrome? Six Triggers That Are Crushing Your Confidence, right? It's a free download for you. So I would invite you all to um uh enjoy that. And um, yeah, I would love to help be of service. And you know, um the other fun place you can join us is over on Facebook. Um, I have a group there called Rewire for Success. Um, we have a lovely tribe there and community. So please come on over and and add your voice to the discussion.
SPEAKER_01Thank you so much. Now, um Michelle, I think finally, can you give our listeners one final? Actually, before I get to that, I just want to touch on this quickly because I don't think we made it clear. You who do you work with typically?
SPEAKER_00So typically I work with business professionals um who have already achieved some level of success in their career, but still keep finding themselves hitting that ceiling and they're ready to move beyond that ceiling and let go of the emotional and the physical blocks that are keeping them stuck and spinning in circles. Um so business owners, entrepreneurs, um, business executives typically are the folks that I'm working with. Um and you know, this work is works for everybody. So I'm happy to have a chat with with whoever might be listening.
SPEAKER_01So I always say it's the brain. Everyone has a brain. So everybody's everybody has a brain. Yeah, no, that's great. So can you give us one final word of wisdom?
SPEAKER_00Sure. Um, rewire your brain, think new thoughts, your life will follow.
SPEAKER_01Oh wow, yeah, that's so true. So true, so true. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much, Michelle. It's really, really been an honor to have you on Lead to Excel Podcast. Thank you so much for coming on.
SPEAKER_00Oh, thank you for having me, Maureen. It's my pleasure to be here with you today. Blessings, everyone.
SPEAKER_01Thank you. Okay, three things before we finish today. Have you subscribed to this podcast? If you haven't, make sure you click that subscribe button wherever you listen to this podcast. Because once you subscribe, you will not miss an episode. And as usual, if you have a topic you would love me to speak about or bring a guest on, do let me know by leaving a review. Finally, do have a fantastic week and remember that you are limitless. So I look forward to seeing you in our next episode. Bye for now.