SPEAKER_01 0:02

Many of us, um, we are skeptical and stubborn because we're comfortable. And what we're doing is familiar. It doesn't mean that we're necessarily happy, fulfilled, aligned, living the most ideal life that we could possibly imagine, but it's familiar to us, and that's where I was at. I knew it was going to take a lot of uncomfortable lessons in my own personal growth to be able to take that leap into something new.

SPEAKER_00 0:28

Hey there, Maureen Cherner here, founder of the Mindsight Academy, neurocoach to executives, leaders, entrepreneurs, and a neuroleadership trainer using insights from neuroscience to help you deliver results by learning to work smarter, be in control of your brain, manage yours and others' emotions, change behaviors, flourish and exceed expectations. Welcome back to another episode of Lead to Excel Podcast. I am so thrilled to be with you today because we have a fellow neuroscience enthusiast with us today. I am absolutely excited. But before we get into that, remember to subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen to it, because it will help other people find it and give them the opportunity to understand how they can rewire their own brain to enable them to achieve their goals. So without wasting any more time, grab your cup of coffee or your drink or whatever that might be, put your feet up and listen in. I am absolutely excited today because I have a really, really dear friend with us today. I met this lady during the pandemic, and she has been absolutely amazing. She inspires me, she she challenges me, and you will really understand what I'm talking about when you listen to her today. She truly, truly is amazing. And I will say that if you are still walking around, you need to sit down with a pen and paper and listen to this episode because you you are going to really get so much from this lady. Her name is Del Ray Mesa. Del Rey, it's such an honor and pleasure to have you on Lead to Excel podcast.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

I mean, any time I get to spend with you makes me so happy. So if it means I have to be on your podcast, I'm good with it.

SPEAKER_00 2:32

I am so pleased to have you here. So, Del Ray, can you just tell us who you are? Who is Del Ray? So just give us a brief introduction and then I'm going to come with some serious questions about who, you know, how you got to where you are. So what do you do? Who are you?

SPEAKER_01 2:50

Oh, wonderful. So it's hard for me to describe who I am now. I think the more work that you do on yourself, you just say, I'm a human, just like everybody else, still learning, still growing, still unlearning. Um, you know, and what we do is just simply, I think, a small part of who we are, and I've learned that. Um, but I do consider myself a social impact entrepreneur because that has been what has given me the most amount of fulfillment of anything that I've ever aligned with. Um, I'm a chiropractor by trade, and I moved into the online um health and wellness space. I was a nutraceutical formulator and manufacturer, and I was really disheartened by the lack of integrity in that industry. So I found myself in a place where maybe a lot of people are today. After the past year and a half of a lot of overwhelm and uncertainty, I know exactly what that feels like. I didn't know what my next steps were. I knew I had passion. I knew I had a desire to make an impact in the world. I knew I had big dreams and a vision. I just didn't know how to take the first steps in making that happen. So seven years ago, um I was in that transition in my life, both personally and professionally. And I was introduced to a woman who shared really a new model with me, a new way of thinking. And I'm a very skeptical and stubborn person. And I think many of us are skeptical and stubborn because we're comfortable. And what we're doing is familiar. It doesn't mean that we're necessarily happy, fulfilled, aligned, living the most ideal life that we could possibly imagine, but it's familiar to us. And that's where I was at. I knew it was going to take a lot of uncomfortable lessons in my own personal growth to be able to take that leap into something new. But I also realized that I had a lot of skill sets and I had a mindset that had been built for years to be able to help me navigate something new and really release the outcome and instead say follow what your path with purpose is that's calling you into a higher place and just say yes. And so I did, and that brings us to today. That was seven years ago. Actually, seven years ago, tomorrow, Maureen.

SPEAKER_00 5:02

Oh wow, are you serious? Oh my gosh. Wow. Wait, so you were a chiropractor previously. What happened? What was that transition um between being, you know, working as a chiropractor and doing what you do now in in health and wellness?

SPEAKER_01 5:24

I've I found what I loved about what I did in that space as a practitioner and professional, but the biggest challenges were starting to outweigh what I loved. And that was being a single mom of uh an older daughter who missed out. Uh I missed out on a lot of her life because I started graduate school and chiropractic school when she was three months old. And so she was raised by daycare. I barely saw her. I was working early mornings, late nights. I was marketing on the weekends. And if you're a parent on here and you feel like you're missing a lot of meaningful moments that you know you're never gonna get back, there's something that just moves you into thinking of a better way, or at least trying to shift what your reality is right now and being able to use your skills in a different setting. And that's that's what I saw. I saw so many people having more freedom of choice in their time in the online space. And I was very passionate about building community, about education, about empowering people to live a holistic lifestyle. And chiropractic gave me that. It was the most incredible gift I learned about nutrition, I learned about entrepreneurship because you know, you're not really taught how to run a business in school. You're kind of taught to be a practitioner and a professional and care for clients, but you're not really taught how to run a business. So I had to learn all of that. And it was a hard learning lesson, but I took what I learned and I moved it online with the idea of being able to spend more time with my daughter. And the challenges of that business was now I was a solo entrepreneur, and that can be just as challenging, you know, coaching clients online, having to start over at zero every single month. You shift your overhead because now you don't have the overhead of a brick and mortar business, but it can also be lonely. And that's what I learned. I go, oh my gosh, I'm missing those relationships of that brick and mortar business. I'm missing being around people. How can I merge the two together and be able to see a business in a different light? And that's when I was introduced to that woman seven years ago.

SPEAKER_00 7:33

Wow, that's interesting. That's interesting. So now that you've come into this new business that you're doing, I want you to tell us a bit about what you actually do now because one of the things I find so fascinating, I always talk about you, your commitment, your drive, how you empower women, the you know, the the time you, you know, you you're just so passionate about what you do. And uh it I just find it just makes me so happy. But the crown on all this is that you love neuroscience, and that just and I think uh what each time I speak to you, it's like speaking to you know my other half. It's just amazing because we're always talking about the brain. So just tell us what you do now because you're one of the greatest things you do now is really create leaders. You really create so how do you do that? What do you do if you tell our listeners a bit more?

SPEAKER_01 9:13

Absolutely. I mean, I I love the quote that says, you know, a leader doesn't set out to be a leader, they set out to make a difference. I I didn't think I would be in a leadership role right now in the capacity that I am. I desired to make a difference. And I realized that I was only going to be able to touch the surface of impact if I was doing it alone. And I knew there were other people that thought a lot like me, that were natural leaders, that truly wanted to give and serve to the world. And I thought, oh my goodness, I can multiply my efforts of impact by aligning with other people that are driven by purpose, that are driven by something bigger than themselves, that actually desire to learn and become more self-aware about what is holding them back, what are their caps and their potential right now, and most importantly, the neuroscience of change. I mean, we would all be where we wanted to be if it was that easy to change and if it was that easy to transform our lives, but it's not. It's a really hard work to work on our limiting belief systems that have been adopted and what we're conditioned to believe. And, you know, a little backstory so people really understand that, you know, really you're no different than I am. I always say I don't have any special DNA. I just believe that I went to work to really heal the parts of me that were limiting my potential and keeping me stuck, keeping me frustrated. I started to observe that there were habits in my life and outcomes and results that I didn't desire for a reason. And I would get stuck in certain places, personally and professionally. So I had to go back in time. I had to start really observing childhood. I said I had to start observing inner child work. I started to do work with my therapist, and I was the first one in my family to ever get counseling and professional help because I grew up in a really small family farming community in North Dakota. And so the way that you worked out your emotions was with more work. You suppressed them. You did not talk about your feelings. I don't even remember being able to identify an emotion or a feeling. And I realized that I drown a lot of my feelings in athletics. I was a very high achiever and I was the oldest of four kids. I grew up in a double-wide trailer in the middle of nowhere. And so my money mindset was also very capped by the conditioning of my environment there. So I had a lot of work to do on my money mindset. I had a lot of work to do about actually seeing a woman because I never had that as a model, a woman pursuing a career and an impact because my mom was a best stay-at-home mom. Let me tell you, that is her role. And I am so grateful for it. And anybody that has that role and wants that for their life, I am so inspired and empowered by you because, you know, being a mom is one of the hardest jobs I've ever done. But for me, I knew authentically that I had a different identity that I wanted to pursue, but I did not have an example of that. And so it took a lot of work to be unapologetic about wanting something different and wanting something more. Not that that was bad, but that I needed to pursue my own authenticity. So looking back, a lot of my limiting beliefs were shaped in that environment. There were many positive things about growing up in a rural community and small town, like work ethic, like I said, and values and family, and like you said, commitment and consistency. Let me tell you, I learned that from a really young age because you can't plant crops and they don't grow any faster by watering them more. You had to have patience. I actually learned how to be really comfortable with uncertainty because if small family farming is extremely uncertain and a calendar that was not very organized. It was, it was a lot of times we didn't know when we were going to eat dinner together or when we weren't. We didn't know when my dad was going to come home from the field or when he wasn't. So uncertainty was kind of a part of my life and I got very familiar with it. And entrepreneurship was about solving problems. And I constantly saw problem solving in that kind of world. So those were all really good things. But the biggest challenges that I faced that came with me into adulthood and especially leadership and entrepreneurship was don't shine too bright, don't speak too loud, and don't dream too big because that group think of you know small town thinking, and again, it's not everybody, but it's very common that if you go against that, then you're you're ruffling people's feathers, or you're trying to be somebody bigger than everyone else. And I had to really unravel that and just say, well, that's okay. I don't want to be better than anyone else. I simply want to better myself. And so that took a lot of work. That took a lot of work to go back and unravel some of those limiting belief systems. And most importantly, one of the biggest um, I would say, challenges that I had to overcome was getting pregnant at a young age. I ran track and cross-country on a scholarship. I put a lot of pressure on myself academically and athletically because I knew my parents couldn't afford college for all of my siblings. And I said, well, if I can show them that we can get college paid for, then I can set a really good example. But that was a lot of pressure and stress. Well, three years into college, I found out that I was pregnant with my now older daughter, who's 18. So I was 20 and had her at 21. And I felt a lot of guilt and shame and a lot of judgment, you know, for that experience. And I carried that heavy weight of shame and guilt for the next 10 years. And I really drowned it in work and achievement and unhealthy relationships personally and professionally, because that's all I felt I was worth. And so the platform of where I am now took 17 years of building. And I really feel that that's one thing, you know, any listener that's that's on here and saying, I'm not seeing the outcome that I desire right now. And we are surrounded by instant gratification and highlight reels all the time. So it's so easy to think that you're too late, you're not enough, it's not happening fast enough. And I'm here to tell you with living proof, you know, every step you take forward is absolutely creating an outcome you desire. You just may not see the result right now. So I started to ask myself different questions. And it was, who do I want to be in my story instead of what do I want to accomplish? And that allowed me to be able to release achievement and step into a place in my brain that was connected to something much more emotional and long term than short-term achievement and that rush that it gives you that will inside that it'll be gone. And there's never gonna be enough if we continue to think that way.

SPEAKER_00 16:15

Yeah, that's absolutely true. Gosh, you dropped so much there. I was just writing away and going, wow, no, thank you so much for that. And I'm gonna pick up if I'm in fact, I'm gonna go forward to come back. Now, where are you now in terms of what you do? Because I really want people to understand the you know, the journey you've been on and where you are at now, how successful you've become in what you do. And then I'm gonna go and pick things up from you know at the back in terms of a lot of things you mentioned, but I just want people to really understand so that we can see that it's possible, which you did say, it takes time, but you can get there. So I'll let you just tell us a bit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:01

I appreciate that because to be honest, I don't share it often. I'm very humble, and I think sometimes I minimize my ambition and achievements. And I do think it's important to be.

SPEAKER_00 17:10

That's why I that's why I want that. That's why I went there because I know if I left you, you're not going to see, you're not going to talk about that, you won't go there. But I really want you to, because I think people need to really see that from your story, you know, that they can, that it's possible. So I'll keep quiet and let you share.

SPEAKER_01 17:31

Thank you. Thank you. You're pulling me to a higher place now, too. So when I started my business, I was able to create a six-figure income in six months and then a multiple um seven-figure income, income in the net in the last um seven years. And I feel, you know, for me, the be the reality of what I was able to leverage was because I was able to duplicate leaders and be able to rise up, you know, more leaders that desired to make an impact. And that simply leveraged my impact, um, my time, and my income. So now having, you know, a global health, well-being, and beauty business that I can work from literally anywhere in the world, um, being aligned with a holistic brand that I align with my core values, and most importantly, being able to identify that so many people in our world struggle with health. They struggle with, you know, mental health, they're craving community and connection. Um, other professionals, just like me, or natural-born leaders, have been stuck in other businesses, business models for a really long time and they're looking for a more efficient vehicle. That's what I call it. It's literally like hopping in a Tesla. That's a that's how I that's how I see it. It's it's a more efficient model where your skills can be used in a different way. And so, you know, my my team now is 30,000 people, you know, across the world. And, you know, what I'm most proud of is their success, to be honest, because I wouldn't be where I am without their success and being able to help identify where people are stuck to be able to get them to that next level of the same thing that they desire, more time freedom, more impact. We have a world now where work has changed clearly. We had a great resignation in our entire world for a reason. People are starting over. And that's exactly how I felt seven years ago. We want our work to be purposeful. We want to have time and meaningful moments with our family. There are so many things that have shifted where people are looking for this kind of business model. But I think there's been a lot of skepticism and a lot of um hesitancy because I don't think it's been shared transparently. And so I'm here to say that yes, all of that is possible. But then, like you said, breaking it down to how did I actually do that? Or how did I have to think in order to scale it? Because again, you know, if I grew up in a double-wide trailer and the most amount of money, you know, my parents made was, you know, a very small amount, then how was I able to shift my mindset that I was now capable, able, and worthy of that kind of abundance? And there was a big shift in that for me as well.

SPEAKER_00 20:26

Yeah, no, that's thank you so much for sharing that. And, you know, I must really commend you because it what you've achieved in several years is just phenomenal. And the amount of leaders that you're raising and you know, empowering is just amazing. So, no, well done, well done. And I'm sure many people want to know how they can work with you, but I'll come to that in a second. So, we've you talked a lot about what you grew up with, this, the tools you had, you know, being an entrepreneur, being comfortable with with uncertainty, which a lot of people are not. So you had a lot of things that really helped you. But it was interesting that you said the things that really held you back, where you know, that mindset of don't shine, don't speak too loudly, and don't dream too big. And don't dream too big is a big one because it really holds you down, you know, so you can have all the opportunities in front of you, but when that mindset comes in, don't dream too big, procrastination sets in, self-sabotage sets in, a lot of other things because the way our brain works is so amazing. I always say this that your brain will answer the questions you you ask it, it will do what you want it to do. So, how did you manage to shift that mindset? And I know you do a lot on um visioning, you do a lot on mindset, you do it, you know a lot about the brain. So, how did you make that shift? And how has it really pumped out over time? And how have you even been able to help people as well make that shift?

SPEAKER_01 22:12

I think I had to identify first what were the stuck patterns, what kept showing up repeatedly, and repeatedly um unhealthy relationships personally, because that's a very vulnerable place to be. And I was so scared of getting hurt again. I had been hurt in a at a really young age, and I repeated that pattern, saying to myself, I don't want to get hurt. I don't want to be with somebody that's gonna cheat on me. So instead of asking, Actually focusing on what I wanted, I was living out of fear of what I didn't want. And I kept getting what I didn't want.

SPEAKER_00 22:44

And I realized that let's stop there one second, because I think that is so important. You were focusing on what you didn't want, and that was what kept coming. And you know, that saying what you focus on expands is so important. And honestly, if you're listening to this, just make a note of that. When you focus on what you don't want, that's what you attract. So the key is to focus on what you want. Thank you so much. So continue.

SPEAKER_01 23:17

Absolutely. It was identifying the patterns and then going a level deeper and saying, what are the limiting beliefs behind that behavior? So if this is the behavior and this is what I'm choosing, what's the limiting belief behind it? I am not enough. I'm not fun or sexy. I'm not a good mom because I chose school over my daughter. I was a young mom. And so I was learning, I felt like I was a child raising a child. I had a lot of guilt and shame wrapped in that story. And so I was I felt very guilty. So instead of these really these emotions and feelings that would allow me to expand to be able to dream bigger, I was stuck in guilt, shame, embarrassment. And let me tell you, I did not show you that. That was like I wore a lot of masks that said everything else was fine. I was trying to achieve to prove my worth. And it wasn't until I got super vulnerable with myself and said, and I looked in the mirror and I said, there's one person that's responsible for the results in your life. There is no blaming or complaining outside of any anything outside of you. It is you that's responsible for changing it. And so once I got crystal clear on that, one of the I think the biggest shifts was forgiving myself, radical forgiveness, and saying, you cannot live in guilt and shame anymore for anything in the past. If you actually want to start new, you got to get out of the amygdala, amygdala in your brain. You know, it that is that reptilian brain where we are just stuck in fight or flight, we're stuck in scarcity thinking, we're stuck in the same patterns and limiting beliefs. And I knew I had to override that with a new mindset. And that one was going to be focused on a new belief system. But let me tell you, that amygdala will pull you right back as soon as something challenging comes up or something familiar, you what I always call it my turtle shell. And maybe you feel this way. I want to go, I want to hide. I want to go back into my turtle shell that doesn't allow us to use our voice. And we get stuck in our head then instead of tapping into our heart. And that's what I realized is once I could identify the new belief and get into the frontal lobe that's responsible for connection and creativity, and I could connect that to my heart space. I now had unapologetic belief that I could actually become a new identity. And I think this is the most important part of how I was able to transform my life the past seven years, physically, emotionally, financially, and rise up these leaders is because you can only lead others to the level you lead yourself. That's true. And that's why leadership is hard. It is so hard because it's a mirror for all of your limiting beliefs, and they'll continue to show up until you overcome. I need you to repeat that. Yes, and it's why it's so scary. Who wants to be shown a mirror of the deepest, darkest parts of yourself? No one. Exactly. And you may think it's somebody that's challenging you or it's an employee that you're struggling with, but it's not. That's just it, it's just a form of you showing up in front of you that you must overcome in order to go to the next level. So at every level, there's another devil. Every level there's another devil that I've had to overcome. And so here's what I believe worked. I always thought that transformation was in strategy. It was in the how-to. I always wanted to know how did somebody get there? How did they do it? And instead, I realized that it was about our future self and who we desired to become in our story. And so I wrote out a list of who I wanted to be. I wanted to be a social impact entrepreneur. I wanted abundance to give back and serve on another level on projects that I would have never been able to afford in the past. I wanted to be a mom that was both present as a mom and ambitious in redefining what motherhood could look like with a career. I wanted to be a wholehearted leader. I had not seen a lot of people lead with heart, and I have a massive heart. And I thought, well, if you have too many feelings in an organization or culture, we're not going to get anything done. And that was just not true. Because the more that we allow a safe space for people to grow and learn and be creative, be seen, valued, heard, accepted, appreciated, that is such a beautiful space for people to now feel safe and perform at levels that we never thought possible. And so if she was who I desired to be, I simply asked myself, well, how would she operate in her day-to-day habits? How would she overcome challenge? How would she overcome adversity? How would she, because let me tell you, I was not her, I was envisioning her and I was acting, I was not acting as if I was embodying until. That's the difference because people a lot of people when people say fake it till you make it, it's not gonna work. Yeah, because if you don't believe it, it will not work. Embodiment means that you have full belief, you are already that identity, even if the results aren't there yet. And your brain does not know the difference between visualizing that and embodying it. And emotion is the key. It's the emotion behind it. You can't go out there and say, I am a social impact entrepreneur, creating other social impact entrepreneurs when you're like, oh, I'm not quite sure if I believe that, and I'm gonna go into every conversation, kind of hesitant. It is, no, this is who I am, and this is what I'm building my habits on every day. And so, my consistency, I think, is the greatest gift that I have. Consistency, the values I operate from, because I can ask myself different questions. Well, does this align with my values? Commitment means you're doing it regardless of how you feel and the emotion and all the challenges that you're gonna face, because there's gonna be many, so many. We've all realized that the last year and a half, life is extremely uncertain. And if we're waiting to be certain that we have the right plan, the right strategy, the right time, the right it and it's gonna be perfect, it's never gonna happen because you've got to take messy, massive action while embodying who your future self desires to be. And most importantly, that we put our commitment to either our client or our customer or our team first. Because I have seen that what's shifted in our world is that people want to know the story behind who what they choose to align with. They want transparency, they want honesty, they want authenticity. They don't want to be sold another diet, they don't want to be sold another, hey, how do you get to seven multiple seven figures in seven years? They want to know that there's something real behind it and that that's possible for them too. And that's simply all I wanted as well, which is why I share my story in this way. Because, you know, we've been through a lot the past three years and it's been hard, like really, really hard. I'm talking drop to your knees, hard challenges, but who I desired to be got me through those. And if it would have just been from a strategy book, I'll tell you, Maureen, I would have quit for sure.

SPEAKER_00 31:00

Yeah, no, wow. Delray, thank you so much for sharing that. And thank you so much for really, because what you did there is really teaching. You know, you gave us so many tips on really what to do, what you've done. I really appreciate that. You did touch on something we talked about previously, which is the your five C's for transformation. And I just want you to go through the five C's again. You did touch on some of them, but just for people to know how, you know, the keys that you use when you're really going through transformation. The other thing you touched on, which I just want to emphasize again, is being vulnerable, because that was the point at which you could really start making the transformation happen. Without being vulnerable, it's just top, it's just superficial. Nothing is going to happen. So I just wanted to reemphasize that again. So please talk us through your five C's.

SPEAKER_01 31:59

Absolutely. I mean, it takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable. And if you're, you know, on this other side listening to this and it makes you kind of cringe to think about actually sharing, you know, the hardest parts of your life, just like I did. I will tell you that's what our world needs the most right now. This is this is what our world needs. We need empathy. We need to hear each other's real stories because that connects us. It makes us relatable. It connects us on a different level as humans to say, wow, I'm not much different than a lot of other people that have done hard things and that have gone through hard things. I'm talking addiction to the amount of mental health challenges that there are. When I share my hardest days, it's when I get the most amount of messages, the most amount of beautiful conversations flood into my email and my direct messages. It's not when I say, hey, look at what I've just achieved. It is when I say, This is what was hard about this day. And that kind of courage, here's what I've realized. And this is something you can take away. You can be afraid and courageous at the same time. You can be brave and afraid at the same time. I believe that's what courage is. It's being afraid to really show who you are and understanding that that's okay. Because I'm afraid every day. I dream so big that I am afraid of that next level of growth. But it also excites me to know that I can give someone else permission, like my girls especially, to dream bigger for their life. And so I operate really from these five C's. And it's so funny because Maureen says she has five C's as well, which was so funny to me. We're so aligned, we're like soul sisters in some way. Um, but I realized a lot of uh a lot of people struggle making decisions and struggle making fast decisions. And I realized successful people make fast decisions. And I always was curious, like, how do they do that? How do they, how do they move and act so quickly? And they're not procrastinating and sitting in there kind of perseverating on the same thing in their head day after day after day. And I I started to study successful people and I asked them questions. They said, Well, I make decisions out of my core values. And that made sense to me. They just ask themselves different questions and say, does this align with my core values? Yes or no. Does this get me further to what I desire in my future self as well as my future vision? And then it's easier to say no to more things than you ever could have dreamt possible. And I'll say saying no to more things rather than saying yes is what radically transforms my time management because I was a hot mess express train for time management. And so now I ask myself that question: does this align with my values? It's taking time to do this podcast when I was telling Maureen that my little munchkin, you know, it has been sick the past three days. I am grateful for the time flexibility and the freedom to have a residual income where I don't have to work for three days and I still get paid the same amount, but I get to choose who I want to see on the other side of the screen. And this choice was aligned with my values because my purpose is to continue to give to others the inspiration and empowerment they need to move forward in their journey. And so it was a simple yes, but there were many things I said no to the past three days. So your core values and actually knowing what they are with absolute clarity, which is number two, the second C Clarity. I feel a lot of us are jumping into a car. I'm gonna compare our lives to a car and literally wandering everywhere without GPS. We don't even know what we want, we don't even know where we want to go. I will ask people that question when I first meet them. I help people transform their lives physically, emotionally, and financially. But when I ask them what their goals are and what they want in all three of those areas, they literally have no idea. And I said, I don't know how I'm gonna help you if you don't know where you want to go. And we need a GPS for that. We need to have crystal clear clarity in our vision, in our purpose, in our goals, and most importantly, our future self-identity to say that's who I desire to become. So now my habits match that. And I actually believe myself. And I believe consistency comes from a commitment to saying, well, I am going to commit to that until it happens. And consistency just naturally follows that. So many people struggle with consistency, and I just ask them, well, do you know, number one, what you want and who you want to be with crystal clear clarity? And are you committed to that? And that's the hardest part. I think we have a lot of times, hard times committing to ourselves because we've self-betrayed for so long. We don't even believe ourselves. Why would our brain believe this if we can't even believe that it's possible? So the consistency part, I think, is also important to celebrate. Maybe I need a six. Celebrating small wins absolutely is essential because a lot of us have big dreams or we have these dreams, but they seem so far away. I mean, think of having a weight loss goal like a lot of people do in the new year. I help so many people find, you know, their well-being versus weight loss because we've all looked at the number on the scale, we've dieted, we've done all these things, and we've fallen short every time because our habits don't create a lifestyle that matches an identity that we actually believe. And so if we don't celebrate those small wins, it can be so easy to self-portray and self-sabotage. And those smaller wins allow us to say, you're doing great. Give yourself grace in the process. You're not gonna be perfect, you're gonna fall short of a goal. The number on the scale is gonna say something different after Thanksgiving. But who cares if you have a 10-year identity plan, right? And I think that diet culture and the fast-paced world we live in has conditioned us to believe that if it doesn't happen soon and now, that it's not worth it. And we rob ourselves of the journey and the gift of growth if we don't celebrate those small wins of who we're becoming in the process. And lastly, like I said, putting for me, it's customer first because that's my business. Who are my customers? They're the ones consuming incredible nutrition. That's how I am paid. And so if the customer doesn't come first and I'm not giving exceptional, I'm talking above and beyond customer service of anything they've ever experienced, or client service, you know, for my for my coaching and and leaders, they're they always have to be first in my mind. And I go above and beyond because I feel that that's the future of our world. People are gonna remember not what you did, but how you made them feel. And people are really craving that for just long-term retention. Um, and I believe that also leads to beautiful, authentic connections. When you put people first and you are a go-giver, and that is the first thing that you think about versus what you can get, suddenly the world is literally open to you with possibility and opportunity. I say every day to myself, people are flooding into my business. I need to create better systems for them, for me to be able to keep up with them. I there are so many people looking for what I offer. I attract, I allow myself to attract people that are driven, ambitious, heart-centered, open-minded, entrepreneurial. They have consistency and commitment and core values at the top. I literally repeat this every single day out loud. And that's who I see. That's who I get to work with because everything else doesn't even have a place in my brain.

SPEAKER_00 39:43

Exactly. Yeah. Oh, wow. Thank you. Thank you so much, Delray. Delray, um I'm gonna pick up on something quite quickly because I know we're almost at the end now. And um, you did mention, because I'm sure that people listening would probably identify a lot with this, where you mentioned how you got pregnant at an early age, the shame, you know, the whole in the way, the even the way society views you and the way you even saw yourself and a lot that went on with it. But you were able to turn that around by first and foremost really bringing it back to who you really want to be, who you want, you know, who you see yourself as, and really holding on to that. And you've talked a lot about the in terms of how you see yourself, what you want, and really embodying that whole thing. And I think that is so important because a lot of times, like you said, people want to see it before they believe it. But you've really got to see it in your head emotionally. There's something else you touched on, which I just want to touch on really quickly, is the fact that we need to celebrate our wins, enjoy the journey because it's so important. And that's the way the dopamine is released to enable us to carry on. But when we focus on the end and forget and leave the middle bit, you you most times you won't even get there. So I think that's really crucial. So, how can people work with you?

SPEAKER_01 41:23

Uh, I have my website, uh, wellspokenlifestyle.com, and anybody can message me through there. I also have my social media. So I'm I'm active on Instagram, especially um Dr. Del Ray, so D-R-D-E-L-R-A-E, and I answer all of my messages. I love helping people and empowering them, and most importantly, discovering whether what I do is a fit or not. I think that's really important to give people space that they understand that I'm not trying to convince somebody that what I do is for them, but to really say I'm willing to help you no matter what and point you in the right direction, whether we work together or I have so many people in my referral network that I have sent. And to be honest, you know, having mental health professionals at my fingertips that I work with that are also a part of the collective that I put together, where I say, you know what, this might not be your time for launching this business or to transition or whatever they want to do with physical health, but maybe there needs to be a foundation of some mindset work here and some trauma work, right? So I think that there's sometimes that's skipped. And I think it's very important to have that as a foundation. So I have this network that I can also refer people to. And I think that's a beautiful part of leadership when you say, hey, I identify that it's not within my capacity to help you and where you're at in your life right now, but I know someone that can, and then we can circle back around and see if it's the right timing. I find that's very, very rare. Um, but I think it's very important because that means we're putting people above our own intentions and own gain.

SPEAKER_00 42:57

Yeah, I think that's really important, very important. So just quickly, what does it look like working with you? So when people come to work with you, just give us briefly what it looks like so that people have an idea what you know what it will be like.

SPEAKER_01 43:13

Absolutely. So working with people that want to transform their health and well-being, I do a discovery call, um, a short call just to connect and also ask questions to clarify, you know, where they are now and where they want to go and how we can fill in that gap. Um, most of it comes down to habits and simplifying the complexity of nutrition. I mean, I work with clients that want to jumpstart weight loss to improve their gut health. I work with athletes because I was an athlete with pre- and post-workout nutrition. So all of it's nutrition-based, and I think we can all agree the complexity of it is why we really struggle. And now diving into the natural beauty sector with a premium collagen solution to adaptogenic herbs to manage stress. I feel everybody can absolutely improve on their nutrition. And then the other side is being able to help people really launch into this online space where you can literally eat your overhead and you know expand your business into 26 markets right from your computer or phone from anywhere. And that's what really excites me because I've been in other business models, like I said, that were trading time for money or that weren't scalable with just me. And it gives you an opportunity to say, wow, I get to be mentored by somebody that has gone before me, that has learned so much. And that's such a beautiful part about this business model is I don't have to charge people for coaching that are on my team. They get to be a part of it and learn. And grow, and most importantly, the community. People are looking for that connection and craving it. So creating a beautiful community is probably one of my proudest things that I've ever done.

SPEAKER_00 44:46

It's an amazing community. I've been part of your community now for quite a few, almost coming up to a year, I think. And it's it's amazing what you do and what you achieve as well. And I think we are going to do another podcast on the collagen, because that is something, yeah, that is something else. It's it's it's a different really special. I've got mine, I've said taking mine. So I really would love us to dig a bit deeper into that because I think that's phenomenal. But if you you know, if you get in touch with um Delra, she'll be able to explain more of that to you, or get in touch with me, and I'll actually be able to explain it to you as well with Delray's help. But Delray, just finally, can you just give our listeners one final word of advice?

SPEAKER_01 45:36

Oh, that's a hard one. I mean, there's so many I learn every single day. I would say right now, if you have something stirring in your soul, it is for a reason. I feel like that was where I was at. And even if you lack, you know, confidence or self-esteem at this time, uh, I just want you to know like you're enough. You're worthy and enough. I'm really moved by mental health right now. There's just, I don't think that we should have this many people struggling in silence. And um, you know, I think again, sharing surface parts of our story where we know that there are so many people struggling. And that's another thing. I'm I'm here if you need just a listening ear, because I've been in those places, and it's really hard to think about being in a different place when you are struggling like that. Um, so you're worthy and you're enough, just as you are, with all of the mistakes you think you made. Um, every one of those experiences was for a reason, and I'm here to share that because they're wrapped in a gift of perspective. And all of those challenges have given me the type of fulfillment I have today because I look back and I'm like, wow, you overcame a lot and you did it, and that gives other permission people permission to do the same. So you've got this.

SPEAKER_00 46:59

I like that. I like that you are enough. That is so true. That is just that is powerful. Thank you so much for sharing your whole self with us. You really shared a lot with us, and I'm sure there are people listening that will identify with what you've shared. And if you do, please reach out to Derry. I'm gonna put her details in the description, or you can connect with her in LinkedIn or Instagram. She's very active on Instagram as well. So please connect with her Facebook, but I'll put all the details in the description. You're not alone. And, you know, I like the way you said that that challenge that you're going through, there's a gift wrapped in it. And it's that that is so powerful because a lot of times when you're really in the middle of the or the eye of the tr of the problem, it's like it's the end of the world, but it's not. You've really shown us your journey, what you've gone through and where you are today. And it's just such an honor to really have met you, to know you, to connect with you. And each time you speak, I identify something. But when you were when you're talking about how you went started your chiropractor business, I think when your when your daughter was three months, I started my teaching qualification when my son was two months. You know, it's it's amazing. So I just feel so connected with you, and um, it's just been an honor meeting you. I've learned so much from you as well. And I keep learning, you know, it's each time you put a post, I'm going, this is so true. This is just amazing. So please connect with her. And um, if you really want to know more about this business she does, really get in touch because, like she said, the coaching you get, the training you get, you're not paying for it. You get so much from it, and it's so powerful. It's something you can use in every aspect of your life. And one thing I always say is that the it's your brain. This brain goes with you everywhere. So whether you're learning things relating to business, you still take the same brain into your personal relationships, into how you parent, into everything you do. So it's so powerful. Derek, thank you so much for coming onto Link to Excel Podcast. It's really been an honor having you. I'm so grateful for you, my friend. Okay, three things before we finish today. Have you subscribed to this podcast? If you haven't, make sure you click that subscribe button wherever you listen to this podcast. Because once you subscribe, you will not miss an episode. And as usual, if you have a topic you would love me to speak about or bring a guest on, do let me know by leaving a review. Finally, do have a fantastic week and remember that you are limitless. So I look forward to seeing you in our next episode. Bye for now.